Thursday, April 9, 2009

The JB random Report 4/9/09


Ok, how fucked must our economy be when the illegal Mexicans in North Carolina are actually sneaking back into Mexico?

Barack Obama isn’t exactly lighting it up is he? I know he is dealing with a lot of crises, both at home and abroad. There’s that missile launch by that crazy little fucker ruling North Korea, Somali pirates taking Americans hostage, and of course the financial situation that is now finding its way to international markets as well. However, it is the responsibility of the President to provide steady leadership in unsettling times…so dude, how could you not throw out the first pitch on Opening day of the 2009 Major League Baseball season? I know you were hanging with the troops in Iraq, but even they would have rather seen you throw out the first pitch, and it’s not like they are going anywhere anytime soon, you could have seen them on the next trip.

Looks like those accusations of prosecutorial misconduct in the Ted Stevens case actually have some teeth. However, and correct me if I’m wrong, shouldn’t the charges be dismissed after a complete investigation and not just because a defendant cried misconduct?


That’s two national championships in 4 years for Roy Williams and North Carolina. It’s awesome baaaaby!!!. Not only great for Tar Heel fans like me, but it’s good for the sport of college basketball as well. In what I’m hoping is a new and welcome trend in college sports, these kids could have gone to the NBA last year but instead decided to keep their team together for a run at a championship much like the Florida Gators did in 2006 and 2007. If you leave early for the pros, sure you can always come back and get your degree, a lot of guys do. But you are only a student-athlete once in your life, and you should allow that time to run its course so that you can look back on it fondly. Why an 18 or 19 year old would want to put the pressures of performing at a multi-million dollar a year job on himself is beyond me, besides the multi-million dollars of course. It’s not like the pros won’t be there when you get your degree, and you would have a lot more than just a piece of paper. You will have four years of building character, something sorely lacking in most NBA players today. Why do you think the NBA is 50% foreign born?
And I’ll probably talk about this later when draft time comes, but let’s stop all this ridiculous analysis of Tyler Hansbrough and whether or not he will be a good NBA player. How is it that the all-time leading scorer in the ACC (that’s right, he scored more than Michael Jordan), National Player of the Year and leader of the National Championship team be over rated? And saying that Jordan, Bob McAdoo or James Worthy would have been just as decorated had they stayed in school is like me saying that I would have kicked Felix Trinidad’s ass had he returned my phone calls in 1999. You can’t blame the fact that these players left early on Hansbrough. Is he the second coming of Karl Malone? probably not, but a young Charles Oakley certainly comes to mind. No one in the NBA will out work him, and he is a winner. How many lottery picks in the last ten years can say that? Most of them either went to college for one year because of the recent NBA age requirement or never even went to college at all, much less win any type of championship. So if you wanna vote against a player that gets what he wants go ahead. And by the way, it’s not racist to say that Hansbrough, who is white, out works everyone. Because he actually does out work everyone, and I assure you race has nothing to do with it.

The first pitch of Opening Day has been thrown…all of a sudden my world makes sense to me again.


Finally some drama on Idol. I really thought Scott was gonna be saved last night. He really was the most likeable contestant, but being legally blind does have its advantages, at least he doesn’t have to look at that Allison chick’s hideous hair color. Last time I saw hair like that it was getting chased by a 4 year old during a White House Lawn Easter Egg Hunt. Here’s an image…put a hat and a maid’s uniform on her. There…now doesn’t she look like every cleaning lady that has done every hotel room you’ve ever stayed in?

And you gotta love that Kim Kardashian chick. Aside from having huge cans and sleeping with your favorite athletes, her delusions will give you plenty to laugh about as well. I skimmed through this magazine yesterday and saw that she said, and I had to look for this before I quoted it, “I would love to be a Bond girl, that would be my dream of life." Dream of your life huh? Why do we celebrate this moron? I mean besides the fact that she has a huge rack and loves to make sex tapes? If she wants to be in a movie, have her call me, I have various roles available in a few “home made” videos she would be perfect for.


Glenn Beck


  1. - I thought the President was actually in Turkey on Opening Day...I'm sure the White Sox would have loved to have him throw out the first pitch. After all, they didn't lose a game in the remainder of the season the last time he did. And, that year they became World Champions, too.

    By the way, the wingnuts would've roasted him if he hadn't stopped in Iraq to see the troops. Of course they did so anyway, calling it a photo-op or something. Assholes.

    And the soldiers were really upset that their Commander-in-Chief showed up. Yeah, right. They gave him more love than at his some of own political rallies. heh, heh

    - Nick Adenhart, RIP

    - Bond girl, Kim Kardashian? This is what the cult of Paris Hilton has wrought. Andy Warhol was a fucking prophet. (And yes, I too would fuck Kimmy K, but please woman, get it together.)

    - I don't know if Glenn Beck and the rest of the wingnut blowhards are disingenuous hate-mongers or just plain idiots; either way we all lose.

  2. He was in Turkey but could have been home to throw a pitch had he not stopped in Iraq. And when he spoke to the troops, and mentioned it was time for iraq to take care of itself, he was met with nothing but positive responses, something troops never did to GW Bush.
    Just by shouting "Hooah" every time Barack said something was enough to let you know how much he really is admired by the men on the ground.

  3. I was going to ask you what it was the soldiers were shouting. (I knew it was positive, but just couldn't make it out what it was.)

    I thought it was funny when Rachel Maddow remarked she wanted to know if our men and women in uniform in Iraq were that good looking or if they just chose a select bunch to appear. heh, heh