Thursday, April 16, 2009

The JB Random Report 4/16/09


Raise your hand if you really don’t give a shit about the White House dog…


Six years after shooting a woman in his house, Phil Spector has finally been found guilty of murder. Nice to see that the California legal system is still as swift and efficient as ever. He faces 15 to life, but for a 69 year old man, 15 is life. I don’t know what the future holds for this man, but I really don’t think jail is in it for some reason. Some of you might not know who Spector is, but I assure you whatever music you listen to, even the horrid pigeon vomit that is constantly played on the radio today, was influenced by this man. He is the most innovative producer in the history of popular music, proven by this mere fraction of his body of work. You may know some of these…

“Unchained Melody” - The Righteous Brothers
“River Deep, Mountain High”- Ike & Tina Turner
“Instant Karma” - John Lennon
“Rock n Roll High School” – The Ramones
“Let It Be” – The Beatles

That he turned into a paranoid gun toting maniac during the middle of his life is sad, but his genius can’t be denied. Is it me or does Judge Larry Paul Fidler look like Bruce Willis in that latest “Die Hard” movie?

Idol is getting so lame I don’t know if I’m gonna be able to make it until the end. That "only 2 judges at a time" crap was horrible, we wanna hear Simon every time, and this wouldn’t be necessary if they would just get rid of that new girl.
Getting Quentin Tarantino to mentor during movie music week was smart. He has an excellent sensibility in choosing music for film. Just think back to “Girl You’ll Be a Woman Soon” in “Pulp Fiction” or “Stuck in the Middle with You” during that famous scene in “Reservoir Dogs.” (hang on to your ears). I would have voted off Miley Cyrus on tonight’s show. So who got eliminated? Oh yeah…some white guy. Wasn’t he eliminated last week? How did the same white guy get saved if he was eliminated last week? Was it a different white guy? I’m so confused…


You know you are getting old when you have seen an athlete’s career both begin, and end. Oscar De La Hoya announced his retirement this week, and I saw him fight in the 1992 Olympics in Barcelona. I guess the debate should begin as the whether or not De La Hoya deserves to be in the Hall of Fame. He actually lost most of his big fights, and only fought 45 times in a 16 year career. Julio Cesar Chavez fought 45 times in one night, but that was against 29 cab drivers, 10 cocktail waitresses, and 6 midgets.
That being said, De La Hoya was the biggest non heavyweight draw ever, a 10 time world champion in 6 weight classes, and he did something few boxers do, which is transcend his sport and gain celebrity status beyond the ring. I knew so many girls that knew nothing about boxing, but knew who De La Hoya was.
I can’t say I’m a De La Hoya fan, but I truly respect the fact that he never ducked any opponent. I gained more respect for him after his losses because of that. However, he never achieved the status in the ring of a Roberto Duran or Sugar Ray Leonard, which he could have had he ever had that one epic rivalry to cement his legacy as a great fighter. There was no Ali-Fraiser, Robinson-Gatti, or Hagler-Hearns in his career. He lost both fights with no controversy to Shane Mosley, never gave another fighter that beat him or came close a rematch. John John Molina, Ike Quartey and Pernell Whittaker (who was robbed in that fight) come to mind there. And what about a rematch with Felix Trinidad? That would have been a bigger draw than their first fight.
His genius however, is as a promoter and money maker. I have said this before, if I were De La Hoya I would have retired a long time ago. He made more money in his first ten years than fighters who were much better than him made in their entire careers. You can make the argument that it was only because of his appeal, but you can’t blame that on De La Hoya. Believe me if Trinidad could speak English and were better looking he would have done the same thing. De La Hoya is so smooth that even if you beat him, you end up working for him. Right Shane Mosley and Bernard Hopkins? I just hope he doesn’t get so bored in retirement that he makes another fucking mariachi record.

Three time Olympic gold medalist and fastest man in the world, Jamaican sprinter Usain Bolt admitted that he has tried marijuana. Wow…what a shock…a Jamaican smoking weed. I guess that explains the smoke coming out of the back of those golden shoes of his.


I love the Yankees, I supported the new stadium. Yankee fans deserve a state of the art place to watch the greatest sports franchise in the history of the world (remember there is no team in any sport anywhere in the world with more championships). I like gourmet beef too. What does one have to do with the other you ask? Well I asked myself the same question when I found out that Zagat rated Lobel’s Butcher Shop has a location in Yankee Stadium. Am I the only one that has no recollection of anyone saying “I have a sudden urge to bring home a pound of ground chuck” after a baseball game? It’s bad enough that they have a lame ass Hard Rock Café at the ballpark, but this is beyond overdoing it.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure Babe Ruth loved a good steak sandwich, but it’s a ballpark, not a luxury food mall. A Sushi bar? A Farmer’s Market? What the hell does that have to do with baseball? If that sushi bar is anywhere near the bleachers you are gonna have a lot of sushi eaters getting the sushi beaten out of them. It’s bad enough that ticket prices are outrageous, but places like this at a ballpark just turns the game from the national pastime to a playground for elitist assholes who know little about baseball, and everything about being assholes.


  1. I was under the impression that Phil Spector was always a gun-toting paranoid. Oh, and btw, he fucked the Let it Be album. Which was pretty lame to begin with. (And I'm a Beatlemaniac, so...)

    I'm a Yankee fan who also supported the building of a new stadium, just as long as I didn't have to pay for it. So, the Steinbrenners get a huge chunk of tax-payer funds to ultimately raise ticket prices, eliminate 5,000 seats, and add a food court, hotel, and Hard Rock Café. Great. [groan]

    Let's see...the hot dogs are $5.50, the sandwiches are almost $15, but at least that Bud Light pisswater/swill is only $6...oops, that's only in the bleachers.

    I doubt they'll see much of me in the Bronx this season.

  2. Your best friend Macca said he hated the Spector imput on the album so much he released "Let It Be...Naked" and I am just so used to the original that I couldn't get into it, but I have to admit it does have its moments.

  3. ...Naked enabled me to enjoy Let it Be once again; the fat was definitely trimmed.

    Btw, did you know the lady Spector shot played science teacher Mr. Vargas' hot, blonde wife in Fast Times at Ridgemont High?

  4. Once again, an obsure reference only understood by a select few...We're kinda like those Star Trek geeks that speak Kingon