Congress Could Use Some PEDs 1/30/13

NEWS & CURRENT EVENTS

Have you been following these Senate hearings on gun violence? Seriously the US Senate is turning less into the Ancient Roman Republican example and more into the mob of the Roman Coliseum every day. About the only thing that they can agree on seems to be that an infinitely qualified John Kerry should be confirmed as Secretary of State. That’s like the Nazis and the British both agreeing that the sky is blue.

What continues to baffle me is how willing Congress is to double down on stupid and continues to give, a relatively small organization in the NRA, so much power. At what point will the fact that as early as yesterday, there were people shot dead in Arizona when a maniac went into an office with a gripe and a gun? Actually heckling Gabby Giffords and her husband when they testified before Congress about gun violence? Something that the Giffords’ know more about than any asshole gun nut in Congress ever will. And if it still hasn’t hit home, how about the fact that a recent visitor to the very hill where they work, 15-year-old Hadiya Pendelton, who performed at President Barack Obama's inauguration, had been shot to death in Chicago.

 SPORTS

 Alex Rodriguez was once a great story and an amazing baseball player to watch. I for one have always been on record defending him against, even at times, Yankee fans. I always thought that he would have fit in better in NY had he just stopped looking for a hug and play ball. As far as his postseason shortcomings, that will always be a sore point, but he did get hot in 2009 when the Yankees won it all. Now it looks as though he is linked to another steroid doctor, as recently as 2009, well after the rules against steroids were in place. True or not, these allegations just suck. I really do believe that like Michael Jackson, we have all forgiven A-Rod for the first one. But if these second round of allegations are true, then his legacy is in serious trouble. Unfortunately there are no PEDs you can take to make yourself more likeable. I have no idea what the fuck Deer Antler spray is, but it sounds like something Ted Nugent would use as a Viagra substitute…

Oh and is there a football game to be played this week? I have to say the continued fallout from this Deer Antler spray bullshit is spreading into the Super Bowl. Baltimore Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis has to come out and flatly deny any PED use after his name was also linked to the company in the initial report that accused the ballplayers. Now, before anyone gets drunk on their own self-righteousness, let's keep this in perspective. If you were an athlete and the product clearly stated "You will not fail a drug test using our product," you'd probably take it. The fact that now all these athletes have to answer questions that they don't know the answer to is a distraction and it labels guys cheaters who never had any actual intent to cheat. It's a mess really, and there is no comprehensive policy to deal with it.   

As for the actual game, I would like to see the Ravens beat the San Francisco 49ers. I think the Harbaugh brothers coaching the opposing teams is a great story, but I love Ray Lewis. I think that to come from getting arrested for his alleged involvement in a homicide 13 years ago to winning a Super Bowl in 2001 to being an inspiration to his community is an even better story. Anyone who has ever heard Ray Lewis speak would follow him straight into Hell if they had to. He is an easy man to believe and an even easier person to root for.

And did I hear Randy Moss correctly when he said he was the greatest receiver ever? And he said it wearing a 49ers uniform? Did he get a brown paper bag and inhale some of that Deer Antler spray? Someone needs to show him some videos of a guy named Jerry Rice, maybe you have heard of him Randy, as he is particularly popular in the Bay area…

 THIS WEEK’S REASON WHY TERRORISTS WANNA KILL US 

Our racist Coca Cola ads, obviously. Seriously isn't there anything worth getting offended at that this is how low we stoop? Groups getting angry over an ad that has yet to even air?

Does the NRA Masturbate To Their Guns? 1/17/13

NEWS & CURRENT EVENTS

So the NRA has decided to run an ad stating how President Barack Obama’s children are protected by armed Secret Service, so therefore every school should have armed guards in them. Brilliant reasoning. Even wiser was how NRA Chief Executive Asshole Wayne LaPierre had the audacity to say that the ad was “not about his kids.” Really? So what was the ad about? When the first line of the ad is a narrator saying ”are the president’s kids more important than yours?” someone should tell me then, what the ad is about. I really cannot believe how willing the Right are to totally ignore facts.

It has been a long standing tradition that a President's children, particularly minors, were never to be brought into anyone’s political agenda. Yet, here's the NRA doing exactly that to Barack Obama’s kids in their latest ad. Ummm…I wonder what is so different about him?  

Wednesday President Obama signed a historic executive order that would limit the availability of assault weapons and firearms.  Of the 23 new laws, it boggles the mind that anyone with a sense of humanity would have a problem with doctors asking patients about their guns, especially if they come into an emergency room with suicidal thoughts or a gunshot wound.

And for the NRA to feebly attempt to counter the current criticism by saying that Obama had children behind him when he signed the gun legislation and compare it to that ad is just sickening. Obviously clueless to the fact that it was those very children that wrote letters to the President asking for this legislation, they are really content on reaching for the most vile non-arguments that they can find.

The best quote on this issue so far has been from our own Mayor Mike Bloomberg “ If you can’t shoot a deer with two shots, you shouldn’t be out there shooting.”

SPORTS

 Ahhh…Lance Armstrong, I guess this is the “acceptance” portion of your rehabilitation tour, after Shock, Denial and Anger. You know, I have no problem with Lance Armstrong doping up just as much as every other cyclist at that time. But where he failed was in his adamant denial and his false rage at his “haters.” It was a con job that was made even more convincing by his public battle with cancer, which by the way, was very inspiring to a lot of people and I’m sure saved many lives. So how harshly should we judge this guy?

I guess only time will tell, but the world really does seem to be crumbling at his feet. He was asked to return the Olympic medal he won on 2000, and has of course been stripped of his 7 Tour De France titles. But who will those titles now go to? Who is the first guy on the list of those who finished that was not doping? This is a huge mess and maybe Armstrong, although its catalyst, might not be its only casualty.

THIS WEEK’S REASON WHY TERRORISTS WANNA KILL US

The Queen of England has decreed that if William and Kate, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, have a girl, the child will be given the lofty title of princess. I’m sure we can now all breathe a sigh of relief.

You know, I actually have nothing against the British Royals, and I think that they do a great service to their country given that they are Royalty and they all serve in the military, which is a lot more than I can say for the spoiled brats of the wealthy here, but why the fuck is this news when there are US hostages in Algeria?

Why is this news when France, yeah France, a nation of snail eating cowards has shown more guts in the African nation of Mali then we have? Yes I know our own African American President is a bit busy right now trying to keep the gun-toting maniacs in line, but come on Barack, aren’t you an Oprah fan? Multi-task, dude!

The USA...Celebrating the New Year With Gun Violence 1/11/13

NEWS & CURRENT EVENTS

For those of you under the delusion that AIG is nothing more than a greedy, soulless corporation obsessed with a bottom line, here is a “feel good” story for you…

AIG’s board met Wednesday to hear a pitch from ex-CEO Maurice "Hank" Greenberg, asking the company to join his $25 billion lawsuit accusing the government of violating shareholders’ rights by bailing out the company during the federal bailouts in 2008 and 2009.

Greenberg filed the suit in 2011, and it claims that the terms of the bailout -- including giving billions to AIG’s clients, the government taking a more than 90 percent stake in the company and the deal’s steep interest rates, stripped shareholders of tens of billions of dollars. Just the fact that they needed a meeting to discuss this really bothers me. Speaking as one of the taxpayers whose money bailed you out, I think I can speak for all of us when I say…”What the FUCK?”

As for Greenberg, I think someone has just submitted his candidacy for JB Random Report “Asshole of the Year 2013.” Hey, it’s never too early! Well, there’s still that maniac gun lover Alex Jones.

SPORTS

Baseball writers, thank you. Thank you for reminding us how petty you actually are. And for the record, I am not campaigning for Barry Bonds, Roger Clemens or Sammy Sosa for entry into the Hall of Fame. But excluding Mike Piazza? The greatest offensive catcher ever? Someone who has not been anywhere near a steroid accusation?

What overblown, heavy handed message are you trying to send? If you are going to exclude players that even played in the so called “steroid era,” then you are not going to have any Summer time celebrations in Cooperstown for a while.

THIS WEEK’S REASON WHY TERRORISTS WANNA KILL US

So nice to see the NRA doubling down on stupid by saying we should respond to the Newtown tragedy with more guns, and arming more school personnel. Because the more guns you have around small children the safer they are. Here is another reason to love your guns…

Who would have thought that in America, a missing small fry order would lead to a violent altercation? At a McDonald's in Kansas, a couple cut through the drive through after discovering a mistake in their order. The couple apparently didn’t like that the car behind them complained so the woman decided to throw a crowbar at the complaining car, her male passenger, seeing that such a move was just not enough, thought it would be a good idea to draw a shotgun and squeeze one into the driver’s side of the car. Police followed them home and a standoff ensued. Stay classy, Witchita!

Am I the only one that remembers that the NRA was formed in the same year in which the Ku Klux Klan was outlawed? Ummm….coincidence?