Are you like me? Do you love PBS? Every few months they have the most amazing shows in order to get people to pledge money. Last night they had The Police in concert in Argentina. One of my favorites is that four hour self help marathon given by Dr. Wayne Dyer. No…I’m serious. I’m actually not being sarcastic about it, I like the guy. He seems to really care about helping people apply Eastern Philosophy in a practical manner, and he never asks for thousand dollar contributions like that asshole crook Benny Hinn, and others like him. I have never met anyone with that much patience (and I did actually meet Dr. Wayne on 5th Avenue last summer) and dedication to listening and helping people.
Sometimes that patience can be exhausting though. During pauses in the broadcast, Dr. Wayne himself was promoting his work while asking for pledges and getting his ass kissed by PBS broadcasters. So much so that one who was on the air with him went on about how she desperately needed Dr. Wayne’s help in getting control of, and I’m not making this up, her helpless addiction to cake. Cake? Are you fucking kidding? Do you even know what the word addiction means? One of the closest people in the world to me has dedicated his life to working with addicts, real addicts. People who have had their lives ruined by drugs or alcohol, and she is coming through with cake? Dr. Wayne listened patiently to this bullshit when what he should have said was, “If you were really addicted to cake you wouldn’t be here talking to me you would be turning tricks in front of a bakery.”
I really don’t know how to react to Terrell Owens being cut by the Dallas Cowboys. He was always a cancer in the locker room, and seems to create drama wherever he goes, but owner Jerry Jones stood by this guy everyday until yesterday. Now, to take a $9 million hit on the salary cap to have this guy not play there must have been some strong voices against him. I’m shocked, this cut blindsided him faster than Ray Lewis. Well I guess Owens will be a Raider next season.
Why would the NBA ban Dwyane Wade’s band aid? I mean, granted that look went out with Nelly in 2001 but still, how much of a violation could it be? Maybe he has a re-occurring face cut since his days on “A Different World.”
Well now that Barry Bonds’ trial is being postponed until the Apocalypse, his agent has been in touch with every major league team in hopes of getting the all-time homerun king (yeah whatever) a job this season. There have yet been no takers…I wonder why? What I love is how his agent, Jeff Boris has accused baseball of collusion. Ahh Jeff…let’s not flatter ourselves. This is not the plot to kill free agency that was eventually taken out and stomped by the MLB Players Union in the 80’s. This is the reality that no team is interested in a 44 year-old player who has no cartilage in his knee and hardly plays the outfield. Oh, and there is the added factor of this guy being a complete asshole, not to mention the poster boy for steroids in baseball (guilty or not).
And of course you cannot mention anything baseball without mentioning all things A-Rod. Just when you thought it was safe to break out your large “A-ROID” signs, looks like he won’t be on the field until May, opting for hip surgery. One of the many reasons this sucks is that he won’t be on the field for Dominican Republic in the World Baseball Classic. Not that they need him to win, but his star power will be missed. I will be rooting for Team USA and the other Caribbean teams (as well), Cuba and Puerto Rico. Let’s bring the title back to this hemisphere!
AMERICAN IDOL & ENTERTAINMENT
Just when you thought that lunatic Tatiana was out of our lives forever, she made the wild card round on Idol. I really do wish her a near death experience. I am glad she is gone, and I’m glad that the Indian guy from North Carolina made it in the last spot. I think I found who to root for.
U2 on Letterman all week so far has been great, but I’m hoping that by the end of the week they do some old stuff. I love U2 but I’m just not feeling the new songs. See, this is why Letterman is just a better show than Jay Leno, Letterman takes risks and is actually funny.
If the JB Random Report End of the Year Awards had a category for most revealing album title, it would have gone to Beyonce for “I am…Sasha Feirce”. See?…I told you she was a drag queen.
THIS WEEK’S REASON WHY TERRORISTS WANNA KILL US
In these hard economic times it’s nice to see Americans are still serious when it comes to our food. Authorities say a Florida woman called 911 three times after McDonald's employees told her they were out of McNuggets. I’m not making this up.
Latreasa L. Goodman told authorities she paid for a 10-piece but was later informed the restaurant had run out. When offered something else of equal or greater value, she became irate. OK do you really wanna keep food away from anyone named “Latreasa”? Just the name alone says “fat chick with a nasty attitude and fake nails.” Police say Goodman was cited on a misuse of 911 charge. I disagree with the charge. I mean, what if she had become even more irate and tried to eat Ronald?
Rocking in the Name Of
4 weeks ago