Wednesday, February 4, 2009

The JB Random Report 2/4/09


You never see this shit going on between two men… Annmarie Bricker wasn't invited to her sister's wedding reception, but that didn’t stop her from showing up anyway and attacking the bride, beating her in the head, knocking her to the ground then pulling out clumps of her hair, police said. Damn…you women really take this whole wedding, commitment for life shit seriously don’t you?

Are you like me? Do you celebrate Groundhog’s Day? Ok I’m kidding, but I think Staten Island Chuck needs a sedative next year after he attacked Mayor Mike Bloomberg. Think maybe Chuck was mad at those recent job cuts? I mean he only has one task, but it’s a traditional one. His job is safe, no reason to attack the mayor.

It looks Like Barack just can’t get a break. Tom Daschle withdrew his nomination on Tuesday to be President Obama's Health and Human Services secretary. This came less than three hours after Nancy Killefer, nominated by Obama to be the government's first chief performance officer, also withdrew her name, also because she doesn’t seem to like paying taxes. What’s going on in Washington? You figure the crowd that both creates and enforces the tax laws would know how to file taxes. As for Daschle, the conflict of interest in his receiving compensation for speaking at health care events is something that Obama should have been more transparent about, but it’s still a non-issue when you think about it. Still, everyone is quick to jump on his ass. Even The Chicago Tribune said, "to proclaim high standards and then suspend them exposes Obama to charges that he is either hypocritical or obtuse."…ouch. That’s his hometown paper, where’s the love dude?

And speaking of Chicago, when is Rod Blagojevich gonna finally go away? He is on every talk show, and his delusional ramblings are just not convincing anyone…its time to put him in jail, I wanna watch Letterman in peace again.

Once again...Ann Coulter is a Dumbo-eared asshole. How colorful of you to say that my favorite ex-ESPN anchor Keith Olbermann is a "57-year old woman trapped in a man's body." When you actually have websites dedicated to questioning your gender. I’m serious…check Google suggestions for "Ann Coulter is a," and see what amazing stuff pops up. So I guess you’re not alone in thinking that you are more of a man than Keith Olbermann.


And speaking of the gender confused…I hate to use the term “jump the shark” when it comes to Idol, but what happened? That 4th host sucks (I still don’t know her full name). There were no painfully bizarre people at the auditions, and Hollywood week so far has left a lot to be desired (with the exception of the glorious train wreck that was bikini chick, of course! She even made that 4th judge curse on TV. What a dazzling show of professionalism.). There was a bizarre dark haired chick that just wouldn’t shut up and then started thanking Jesus and his whole family after she made it. And then there was this one group who just hated each other, aired out their dirty laundry before they sang, and then really sucked, and yet two of them made it through…it’s just getting weird.


So the NFL has their New York Yankees as the Pittsburgh Steelers are the first franchise to win 6 Super Bowl Titles. The game itself was great I have to admit. That was one sick catch by Santonio Holmes and he certainly deserved the MVP. However, for Roger Goodell to say that it “topped last year” is ridiculous. Dude, you made enough money off the game, don’t try to turn it into something it isn’t. You can’t replace the greatest Super Bowl ever the same way you can’t replace David Lee Roth with Sammy Hagar and you can’t replace Sammy Hagar with...with…? Well…whoever the asshole was that replaced him.

And let me address Joe Torre’s book for a minute…Is this book really a betrayal of trust in the form of a “tell all?” What did Torre actually reveal? That George Steinbrenner was a tyrant? Alex Rodriguez is a flake? Hardly breaking news is it? A major revelation would have to be more than that. This not even mildly qualifies as “breaking the clubhouse rules.” And the way he was forced out of town gives him a lot to be bitter about.


That 4th Judge on American Idol. Can someone tell me what her name is again?


  1. Watching co-author Tom Verducci being interviewed alongside Joe Torre by Bob Costas on MLB, the truth about the book is even sadder than I thought. I originally considered Joe Torre repeating clubhouse gossip in book form a big letdown. And by doing so, he made The Boss and co. look good in comparison. I was wrong: it's worse.

    Basically, according to the authors, The Yankee Years is in essence Verducci's book, with Torre's byline, and drawing power mostly used as bait to sell the thing. Classy.

  2. I don't know who you are , but you blog is made me laugh so hard. I must say the bit about the chimp and the one about Michael Phelps were priceless. I found your blog thru facebook. Your humor is intelligent and witty like Bill Maher ........ keep it coming.