Laugh, Think & Cry 12/1/11

I was on vacation for the holidays, and now that my Christmas tree is up I am officially in the spirit!

NEWS & CURRENT EVENTS

Ok is it safe yet for even Republicans to say that Herman Cain is an asshole? I mean come on all you GOP’ers, you didn’t believe that he would last long as your front runner right? This man is about as eloquent and knowledgeable on foreign affairs as well, Herman Cain. Seriously, how many times have you heard this moron use “I would work with my advisors to solve the problem” as a substitute for “I really don’t know what the fuck you are talking about.” What is most entertaining is this “old boy” network of Republicans actually having to keep a straight face after every time this alleged front runner shoots himself in the foot. You can practically hear the senior citizen teeth grinding in every posh country club in America as they are forced to defend this inept choice. And I’m sure the scotch was flowing freely into their adult diapers in wild celebration of this idiot’s latest sex scandal; a scandal that has yet to make him go away, however. Today it was discovered that he was actually giving this woman money…pimpin’ ain’t easy!

And then there is the gift that keeps on giving, Michelle Bachmann. You know, the JB Random Report End of The Year Awards are coming up, and I have no doubt this idiot will make an appearance. Her latest gem is promising to close the US Embassy in Iran once she is elected President. Which sounds like a great idea until any high school student with a working knowledge of American history informs her that there has been no US Embassy in Iran since the Shah was overthrown in 1979. Then there was that little Iran Hostage Crisis where the workers of the former Embassy suffered 444 days of captivity. You know, the biggest news story of that year. Remember? Oh I’m sorry, I keep thinking this woman has a brain.    

Hey Gingrich, put the cheeseburger down and get your mistress off your lap, you’re up.

A tiny all-white Appalachian church in rural Kentucky has voted to ban interracial couples from joining its flock. Seriously, today in 2011. Members at the Gulnare Free Will Baptist Church voted Sunday on the resolution, which says the church "does not condone interracial marriage." The church member who crafted the resolution, Melvin Thompson, said he is not racist and called the matter an "internal affair."

Oooooooook…look there is a lot that I, or anyone with a brain can say about this, but I really don’t feel like writing that much, besides the game is on so I will keep it brief…Two things…

1- The fact that these people even carried such a resolution to a vote, then still insist that they are not racist is why racism still exists.

2- Its fucking rural Kentucky…what did you expect? Now someone get the BBQ stains off that man’s Klan robe, he has a church meeting to go to.

SPORTS

Oh…the NBA is back…ok I’ll entertain this for a while, but it’s not like you people have had my attention for much of the last ten years anyway, but go ahead, play, make some trades, surprise me, maybe I’ll watch. Chris Paul wants to be a Knick? Dwight Howard wants out of Orlando? OK what else is new?

About 18 years ago, I was at opening day at Yankee Stadium, watching Joe DiMaggio throw out the 1^st pitch. Joe was actually a replacement for North Carolina State basketball coach Jim Valvano, who was too ill to attend due to the rapid spreading cancer that was overtaking him. Months before, he had given a speech while receiving the Arthur Ashe Award at the ESPY’s that has since gone down in history as one of the greatest speeches in sports history. Right up there with Lou Gehrig’s speech on July 4^th 1939. The message was “Laugh, Think and Cry everyday.” I can assure you that you do all three listening to that speech even now. Cynicism and greed are perceived as such a big part of sports. Given the recent scandals in college sports, that cynicism is even more rampant and for good reason, but listen to this speech and you will forget what can be bad about sports. Listen to this speech and for a moment, scandals, lockouts, bailouts, and criminal charges are light years away. Jim Valvano was greatness. “Laugh, Think and Cry?” OK I laugh when I hear him tell that “Lombardi” story about his first day coaching a Rutger's. I think when he asks the audience to contribute to cancer research because it may not save his life, but the life of his children, and I cry when I see the ovation he gets at the end, as an emotionall overcome Jim Valvano is helped off the stage by Dick Vitale and Mike Krzyzewski.

“Don’t give up….don’t ever give up.”