Sorry I’m late, but I was in Virginia celebrating Confederate History Month, and I had a devil of a time getting these barbecue stains out of my white robe and hood. For nearly a decade, Virginia has declined to mark its secession from the union. But on Tuesday, Gov. Bob McDonnell (Big surprise, he’s a Republican) declared April as Confederate History Month in Virginia for the first time since 2001. How is it that even after 150 years, the south is still so incredibly clueless? And why does the rest of the country subconsciously buy into the fact that the only people to ever secede (that’s leave and separate from, for all you southern “patriots” out there) from the Union are somehow considered the most patriotic Americans? Since when did celebrating treason become a patriotic act?AMERICAN IDOL & ENTERTAINMENT
And just wtf was Big Mike doing in the bottom 3 on Idol? I would hate to believe the conspiracy theorists that say the show is somehow fixed, but how can one of the best contestants even be in the bottom 3 much less eliminated, all while Tim Urban continues to live?
Although he gets credit for pioneering punk rock by managing such bands as The Sex Pistols, had it not been for Malcolm McLaren, hip-hop never would have gotten a major record deal. In 1980 McLaren was in New York managing a band called Bow Wow Wow. Now my friend Arthur, who is the gayest man in the history of gaydom, admits that the lead singer of this band, Annabella is so incredibly hot that she could turn him. 'Nuff said.
And just wtf was Big Mike doing in the bottom 3 on Idol? I would hate to believe the conspiracy theorists that say the show is somehow fixed, but how can one of the best contestants even be in the bottom 3 much less eliminated, all while Tim Urban continues to live?
Although he gets credit for pioneering punk rock by managing such bands as The Sex Pistols, had it not been for Malcolm McLaren, hip-hop never would have gotten a major record deal. In 1980 McLaren was in New York managing a band called Bow Wow Wow. Now my friend Arthur, who is the gayest man in the history of gaydom, admits that the lead singer of this band, Annabella is so incredibly hot that she could turn him. 'Nuff said. So McLaren is walking on 125th in Harlem, odd place for a British white guy, and was stunned to see a big black guy walking down the street wearing a Sex Pistols T-shirt. McLaren approached this massive man and they got to talking. He told the guy that he had founded the band on his shirt, and confessed that he never thought a big black guy from New York would ever be into them, much less wear their t-shirt.
The guy responded by inviting him to a party that he was promoting in the South Bron
x that night. Ever so brave, McLaren hailed a cab and gave the cab driver the address, at which point he was immediately thrown out of the cab. Finally making his way up to the party, which was in an abandoned lot, the electricity being stolen from a lamppost, McLaren was simply amazed by the music, and he knew it was gonna blow up. He convinced the guy to bring his group and to perform with Bow Wow Wow the next night in front of some RCA executives, and although they were too stupid to sign them on the spot, it inspired that big guy from the Bronx to seek a record deal for him and his group, and they eventually landed one. That big guy’s name was Africa Bambaata.
RIP Malcolm McLaren, and thanks.
SPORTS
As I correctly predicted, the New York Yankees, the greatest franchise in sports history, have won the opening series against the Boston Red Sox. And yes, there is a certain “warm blanket” feel to rattling those boneheads, as David “Fat Papi” Ortiz, normally very congenial, went on an expletive-filled tirade in front of a reporter when asked about his slow start, having gone 0-7 in the first two games of the series. You think he would have been that prickly had the Red Sox opened at home against the Baltimore 
Orioles?
I love college basketball, but how’s that “one and done” rule workin’ out for ya? Five, that’s right five players, from the Kentucky Wildcats, John Wall (big surprise) included, have now declared for the NBA draft. That’s one-third of their whole team, how could any coach successfully recruit in this era with this ridiculous rule?
LOVE & RELATIONSHIPS
Any girl who refers to oral sex being performed on her as “giving me head,” has a scorching hot case of penis envy…
And speaking of oral sex, I’m reminded of one of the cruelest things I’ve ever said to a girl. A few years ago, during a painful breakup, my ex was telling me how "powerful" she believed our relationship was, to which I responded “Oh please…the only reason I have a ‘hold on you’ is because a lesbian taught me how to eat pussy.” I really should have been a bit more understanding.
But seriously folks, a girl who hates a guy that has too many female friends becomes considerably more comfortable with your choice in comrades after you go down on her, she passes out, then wakes up smiling, totally realizing where you learned that…
The guy responded by inviting him to a party that he was promoting in the South Bron
x that night. Ever so brave, McLaren hailed a cab and gave the cab driver the address, at which point he was immediately thrown out of the cab. Finally making his way up to the party, which was in an abandoned lot, the electricity being stolen from a lamppost, McLaren was simply amazed by the music, and he knew it was gonna blow up. He convinced the guy to bring his group and to perform with Bow Wow Wow the next night in front of some RCA executives, and although they were too stupid to sign them on the spot, it inspired that big guy from the Bronx to seek a record deal for him and his group, and they eventually landed one. That big guy’s name was Africa Bambaata.RIP Malcolm McLaren, and thanks.
SPORTS
As I correctly predicted, the New York Yankees, the greatest franchise in sports history, have won the opening series against the Boston Red Sox. And yes, there is a certain “warm blanket” feel to rattling those boneheads, as David “Fat Papi” Ortiz, normally very congenial, went on an expletive-filled tirade in front of a reporter when asked about his slow start, having gone 0-7 in the first two games of the series. You think he would have been that prickly had the Red Sox opened at home against the Baltimore 
Orioles?I love college basketball, but how’s that “one and done” rule workin’ out for ya? Five, that’s right five players, from the Kentucky Wildcats, John Wall (big surprise) included, have now declared for the NBA draft. That’s one-third of their whole team, how could any coach successfully recruit in this era with this ridiculous rule?
LOVE & RELATIONSHIPS
Any girl who refers to oral sex being performed on her as “giving me head,” has a scorching hot case of penis envy…
And speaking of oral sex, I’m reminded of one of the cruelest things I’ve ever said to a girl. A few years ago, during a painful breakup, my ex was telling me how "powerful" she believed our relationship was, to which I responded “Oh please…the only reason I have a ‘hold on you’ is because a lesbian taught me how to eat pussy.” I really should have been a bit more understanding.But seriously folks, a girl who hates a guy that has too many female friends becomes considerably more comfortable with your choice in comrades after you go down on her, she passes out, then wakes up smiling, totally realizing where you learned that…
Posts
OK that anabella chick was fine 20 years ago, but what does she look like now?
ReplyDeleteI still dont get how one guy going to see a hip hop show made hip hop famous? What about Russel Simmons or the Sugar Hill Gang?
Funny Stuff about eating pussy
I think she was like 15 back then, still pretty hot today actually.
ReplyDeleteIf you don't know who Africa Bambaata is or his contribution to Hip-Hop then I can't help you. I'm sure there is some website where you can look it up.
LMMFAO!!!!!!!
ReplyDelete