A Brief Rant 4/22/10

A BRIEF RANT

A younger friend of mine made a comment on her Facebook page that read “Realized that our generation lacks originality.” She was complaining about the lame remakes that have been infesting the movie industry, and she has a point. So as I started my indictment of her clueless generation, I realized that I was also writing a semi-indictment of my own…
If you were born in the 70’s you have probably been referred to at one time or another as being a member of “Generation X,” a name for my generation that I never approved by the way. It was given to us by older folks who saw Kurt Cobain-induced indifference and cynicism as somehow meaning that we are all gonna do large amounts of ecstasy (hey maybe that’s where that “X” came from?), wear flannel and not get jobs. Well that certainly wasn’t my life (I hate flannel), and I resent being labeled by those who don’t know me just because some people my age decided to not care.
Truth be told, there really wasn’t much to care about then was there? By the time I got to school, Apartheid had ended in South Africa, The Berlin Wall had come down, and Bob Geldof had personally fed every hungry Ethiopian there was. Since there was nothing left for us to focus our half-knowledge and rage on, why not just listen to music and get stoned? I still managed to meet girls and work out, and I sure wasn’t going to join my upper middle class college classmates; those phony-rage, suburban assholes demonstrating to save the whales or stop the discrimination of Eskimos; Morons so confused and angry at not having been born with anything to complain about that they protested the fact that there were so many poor neighborhoods in New York City, then turned around and protested against the companies that were risking their livelihoods developing the places that no other developers would even go near. I’m sure these college-aged experts on urban planning had a lot of time to develop their ideas on this issue sitting poolside sipping margaritas in their suburban back yards. My point is that if things are good, don’t pretend they are not just to have something to complain about. Believe me had I been born rich, I wouldn’t be complaining about shit, and I don’t need anyone who just moved to the big city to be outraged for me, it’s just as phony now as it was when I was a kid. OK rant over, moving on…
So you would think that the kids that are 8-15 years younger than me would learn from our mistakes and come up with something original to define them. Maybe a great cause like the environment or a new civil rights cause like immigration reform. And more so, you would think that they would totally reject the name of the generation of their older brothers and sisters right? Nope.
Emmily is right. This generation is considerably less original than mine. How do I know? Let’s start with the fact that they are so lazy and have done so little, no one can even come up with an original name for them, not even the labelers. Known as “Generation Y,” (as in why the fuck can’t you come up with something original instead of just going one letter over?) they seem content to live in their parents’ basements, watch reality TV and masturbate in front of their computers. There is no real connection with anyone or anything that is not readily available on a screen of some sort (I have had at least two of these nitwits actually break up with me by text message). They listen to shitty music by shitty artists that are mostly never heard from again (Can you name ten songs on the radio right now? Can you name five artists that were on the radio five years ago? I didn’t think so), watch shitty television (Jersey Shore anyone?), go to shitty movies (How many Saw movies again?), eat shitty food (Who the fuck puts cheese in the crust of a pizza already full of cheese?), and they don’t seem to mind.
There is no voice to define this generation the way Bob Dylan did for the 60’s or Kurt Cobain did for me. And the worst part about all this is that this era has many issues that require your attention, you are just too busy exchanging naked pictures of each other over your cell phones to notice. The environment is in serious trouble and could use your help, the financial industry just took away your college tuition money, and Sarah Palin wants to make leadership decisions for you. You should be afraid…very afraid, but you’re not, and that makes me very afraid. Not because you will not be taking care of me when I get older, you are not that much younger than me. However, the crippling fear that wakes me in a cold sweat every night is the fact that one of you wastes of space might be the nurse that takes care of my mom if ever she goes to the hospital.
And before you start sending me hate mail (which I actually don’t mind, by the way) let me make clear that I am speaking in generalizations. Generation Y does not reflect the lives of every single person born into it anymore than droopy pants and plaid wearing slackers defined everyone in mine. But generalizations do not exist by accident, and my indictment is not without some merit.

Oh fuck, I just realized something…I have finally turned into my dad…