The JB Random Report 2/4/10

NEWS & CURRENT EVENTS

Why do the Chinese hate us so much? Whether its lead paint-tainted toys, poison baby formula or unfair trade tariffs, they always seem to be against us don’t they? And now the China-based cyberattack against Google has apparently prompted the powerful search engine to reach out to the National Security Agency for help. The NSA? Damn that’s serious. And the only reason the NSA is even getting involved is because the threat is coming from a foreign country. Had it come from some 40 year old Star Trek fan working out of his parents basement they would have just slapped him around a little. Now the reason you really need to be aware of this is that a deal of this nature really blurs the field between what is a private company and a government agency. Would a supermarket ask the FBI to deal with a foreign shoplifter?

ENTERTAINMENT

Giving yourselves awards for forgettable, irrelevant music is sad, so I won’t comment much on the Grammys except to say that for the most part, they sucked. But saying the Grammys sucked is a bit redundant, so let me highlight some moments that were not so bad. Giving the best acceptance speech of the night, Kings of Leon winning Record of the Year was a pleasant surprise, it was kinda like getting a church picnic getting crashed by Amy Winehouse. The performances were gratuitous to say the least, but I enjoyed the Black Eyed Peas and Lil’ Wayne, Eminem and Drake were great but I could only hear about 1/3 rd of their performance because they kept getting the censor button. Seeing Travis behind the drums was cool too. Now I admit I couldn’t sit through all this lame, irrelevant drivel, so I can only comment on what I saw, and I do acknowledge that I missed some good stuff I might have liked. Besides North Carolina was playing and I was watching Big Love on HBO. Was Roberta Flack wearing a mask? Cuz she kinda reminded me of Freddy Krueger with a wig. Bon Jovi still doing “Livin’on a Prayer?” They should pray for another song already. And for the record, I do agree with my man Mena about one thing…Taylor Swift and The Jonas Brothers might not be my particular cup of tea, but I do respect the fact that at least they write, play and sing their own music. I might not like it, but at least it’s real, and that’s rare in today’s music business. Can you believe it’s been ten years since “Supernatural?” So did anything else happen?

SPORTS

So I guess the big fight is signed! Finally! Floyd Mayweather has finally agreed to a May 1st bout against…Shane Mosley? Really? Man…it’s kinda like having a shitty Christmas. Look, Mosley is still a very good fighter at 38 years old, and this does make sense for Mayweather because it’s the only big fight he could get, but please…no one believes that “It’s like Leonard - Hearns all over again” hype, so cut the crap already. Pacquiao is the fight we all wanna see, and everyone knows it.

And you know what else happened this week LA Lakers fans? Phil Jackson broke Pat Riley’s all time record for Lakers wins as a coach, and Kobe Bryant broke Jerry West’s all time record in scoring as a Laker. Naturally, as what happens when all milestones are broken, this sparked debate over who is the greatest Laker ever, mostly comparing Kobe to the great Ervin Magic Johnson. Ahh, in the words of the late President Richard M. Nixon, “let me make this perfectly clear”…Kobe Bryant can win 10 championships, and break every scoring record in the NBA and he will never, ever be a better player than Magic Johnson. Now you know how they say “never say never?” I’m…saying…never! As a matter of fact, I challenge anyone to give me a reason why Magic is not the best all around player ever of all time. 3 MVP’s, 5 Championships and an overall game better than anyone else’s. Michael Jordan you say? OK could he pass or rebound like Magic? Case closed. And remember this, it took Jordan 8 years to win his first ring, after being drafted to a crappy team. Magic Johnson won a ring his first year, after being drafted by an equally crappy team. Magic’s career was cut down in its prime, where as Jordan played well past his, often taking bad shots and hurting an already bad Washington Wizards team. Never have a debate without knowing your history.

THIS WEEK’S REASON WHY TERRORISTS WANNA KILL US

Haitian officials have charged 10 Baptist missionaries from the U.S. with child abduction and criminal conspiracy for their role in attempting to smuggle 33 children out of Haiti following that country's devastating earthquake. Why am I so mad and who am I mad at exactly? Well let my just say that this is what happens when white people think that they can do whatever they want in a third world nation. Maybe they forgot, but Haiti is an independednt nation with its own laws, and just because you think you can do better doesn’t mean that you can just take their children and circumvent their adoption procedures. That’s why that hag Madonna should be in an African jail right now. It is this pompus, superior attitude that has them locked up right now. And if these self righteous assholes dare to argue that “no good deed goes unpunished,” the retort should be “neither does breaking other people’s laws in their own country.”