Thursday, September 24, 2009

The JB Random Report 9/24/09


I like my President to be a rock star, that’s why I voted for Barack Obama, but right now I’m afraid I’m gonna need a bit more leadership and a bit less Letterman. In case you have not read the health care bill that was finally put to the Senate last week, there is no public option, no cost reduction aimed specifically at the middle class (which means that, at least in theory, they could end up paying more), and the spirit of “everyone being insured” is just not there. Now look, I know it's only the 1st inning as so far as the legislative process goes, but this is the bill that is supposed to be amended into something that everyone can agree on, right now anything amended will just be what Bill Maher said about the bill “A blow job for the insurance companies.” What the fuck does an insurance company even do anyway? They are essentially a middleman between the patient and a doctor right? Didn’t Al Pacino shoot the middleman in Scarface after only the first hour of the movie? Why can’t we just do that?

And to the US and Israeli delegation of the United Nations General Assembly…when you walk out on a speech given by a world leader you do three things 1- look like rude fools to those in the middle of the road on issues such as nuclear proliferation 2- garner sympathy for an asshole 3- Make yourself unable to respond to the contents and criticisms aimed at you during a speech you walked out on. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is a totalitarian little runt, don’t make things easier for him by looking petty, because you only make him look better in the eyes of the world. Even that maniac Joe Wilson stayed for Obama’s speech…well maybe that’s not the best example but you know what I mean.

And just in case the UN needed a little bit o' crazy, Libyan leader Col. Mummar Ghadafi was more than happy to oblige. That rambling drivel was just what we needed to lighten up the atmosphere at the General Assembly just a bit. And Donald Trump kicking him out of the tent he pitched on his property in Westchester just added to the bizarre nature of his presence. If he is a Colonel then why is he still in charge? Don’t they have Generals in Libya?

And how happy is Obama that he was not a Cold War President? Could you imagine him having to deal with all the crap he already has on his plate and the situation in Honduras? It’s just this type of crisis that would break the camel’s back and drive him to age rapidly in office and bang a chubby intern.


I thought the stage, sound, and lighting at the U2 concert was great. But one there is just one thing that just might have made last night the last time I see one of my all-time favorite bands…the playlist. You can’t forget that you had a career in the 80’s and 90’s just because your last few records sold well. Every Rolling Stones record in the 90’s went platinum, but they never spend two thirds of a show playing half of “Steel Wheels” or “Bridges to Babylon.” A U2 gig without “Pride in the Name of Love” or “I Will Follow?” Come on…do we really need to hear “Stuck in a Moment You Can’t Get Out Of” ever again?

I’ve always liked this band called The Bravery (thanx Seli), but I think they might need a new manager. I can’t get enough of their new song, and they are touring starting in September, but their album doesn’t come out until November 11th. Now, is there a reason why you would tour to support an album no one can buy yet?

Look, we all loved “Don’t Stop Believin’”, but when you replace Steve Perry with a guy for who English is a second language, one foot is clearly out the door and the other one is on a banana…Journey, time to go now.


Of course I’m happy that the Yankees have the best record in baseball and were the first to clinch a playoff spot. I’m just a bit concerned that Joba Chamberlain can’t get out of the third inning and they still can’t beat the LA/California/Anaheim or whatever they are calling themselves this year Angels with any certainty.

Is it true that Lamar Odom is actually gonna marry one of those Kardashian skanks? Is she the big fat one without the sex tape?


Tom DeLay on “Dancing With The Stars.” Just in case we need to be reminded of how white he is. Wasn’t this asshole indicted in 2005 for criminally conspiring, along with two political associates, to inject illegal corporate contributions into 2002 state elections? Elections that essentially helped the Republican Party reorder the congressional map in Texas and control the House in Washington. Why isn’t he dancing in jail? Wanna “dance with the stars” asshole? Go be Plaxico Burress’ cellmate and teach him the Cha-cha-cha.


  1. - If anyone remains unconvinced that the GOP wants to enact no healthcare reform whatsoever and is simply in favor of preserving the status quo, their rejection of even a bullshit plan like the one put forth by industry shill Sen. Max Baucus (D-MT) should suffice. No change. No reform. That's what they want. Period.

    Oh, and yeah: the black guy is coming to take your guns!

    - As for the UN speech, there's gotta be a middle ground between walking out on Ahmadinejad and alienating some, and sticking around and thereby granting him a legitimacy he doesn't have.

    - I'm surprised to hear of your U2 experience; I was under the impression they were a bit more far-reaching with their setlists. I'm with you on "I Will Follow", although "(Pride) In the Name of Love" I can kinda do without these days.

    - re: the Bravery
    "Now, is there a reason why you would tour to support an album no one can buy yet?"

    Because album sales are, unfortunately, irrelevant these days. Now more than ever the money is made out on the road selling tickets and merch. Also, who would buy a Bravery album, anyway? Oh, SNAP!

    - I still call them the California Angels, regardless of what marketing bullshit owner Arte Moreno spouts. And taking 2 out of the last 3 in Anaheim, and evening the season series total, has a degree of certainty. A small one, but...

    The Yankees have woefully mismanaged Joba. They should've taken their cue from the Tigers who have done a great job of getting rookie starter Porcello up to speed.

    And by the way, plenty of current young pitchers--Tim Lincecum among them--didn't get babied like Joba and are fine, so what's the deal?

    - Yes, you have the right Kardashian chick. Ugh. Here's what I don't understand: how can a broke nobody like me hook up with hotter women than some of the specimens found on the arms of certain rich, famous athletes?

    - And finally, I leave you with this wonderful quote from CNN's Jack Cafferty:

    "When [DeLay] goes to prison, they can show that [video of him dancing] to the general inmate population."

    If only, Jack. If only.

  2. Staying for a speech then having the moral highground to denounce it offers Ahmadinejad no legitimacy I assure you. I would have stayed for the Ghadafi speech, but only with a beer and chips waiting for the other clowns to do flips and tricks while juggling.

    U2 played well and showed no signs of aging. The energy was not lacking at all. I guess all long time fans of any band just wanna hear some deep cuts.

    Well you can't dl all the new bravery songs yet either, so I can't understand why any band would tour behind music no one has access to unless you stay on their MySpace page.

    I totally agree with the Yankees mishandling Joba. As a matter of fact, not letting him pitch out of trouble or late into games has actually set him back. Greg Maddux lost 15 games one year with the Cubs, and he still managed to win 300 games in his career.