Thursday, July 30, 2009

The JB Random Report 7/30/09


Should Pete Rose be in the Hall of Fame? Every year around this time this debate comes up, every year it doesn’t matter. Except for this year for some reason. This year Commissioner Bud Selig addressed reinstating Rose after a 20 year ban for gambling on his own team when he was manager of the Cincinnati Reds. This is a guy who gambled on his sport, lied about it, then criticized baseball and the sports world for wanting to distance itself from him. This is self entitlement on a massive scale. We already know what he thinks, but if baseball believes that Peter Rose, after 20 years paid his dues for what he was actually guilty of, and he is allowed in the Hall of Fame, then the Hall must open its doors for a man that even his own teammates who were involved in a conspiracy said was innocent, “Shoeless” Joe Jackson. If you have never heard that name, then the damage is done, so I’m gonna give you a brief history lesson.
In 1919 The Chicago White Sox were owned by a notoriously cheap millionaire named Charles Comiskey. The team was comprised of players from all over the country, and given that the Civil War was fought only a generation before, there was still some regional clique forming amongst the players, but the one thing they had in common was their hatred of the owner. The Sox made it to the World Series that year, and lost surprisingly to the Cincinnati Reds, ultimately causing a Grand Jury investigation into whether or not the series was fixed. Even though Jackson admitted involvement, the actual conspirators disputed it, saying that they used his name to impress the gamblers involved. Jackson later recanted his story until his death in 1951, and many other players backed him up. The fallout was substantial. The game suffered financially and baseball appointed a former Federal Judge, Kenesaw Mountain Landis as its first commissioner, who promptly banned all the players involved in the “Black Sox” scandal for life. No one knows what Jackson did, but remember this was an illiterate, humble man who I do not believe knew the implications of what he was doing, guilty or innocent.
Rose is a totally different story isn’t he? He not only knew what he was doing, but he was the chief conspirator, and he was proven guilty. Pete Rose has 4,256 hits in a 23 year career. I think he is a complete asshole, but the Hall of Fame cannot call itself complete unless he is in it. Shoeless Joe Jackson hit .356, had 1,772 hits and 785 RBIs in only a twelve year career…the Hall of Fame is incomplete without him too.

I can’t imagine what would be next for boxing. On the heels of Arturo Gatti (whose wife was cleared in his death) and Alexis Arguello, the sport has now lost Vernon Forrest, a great fighter and an even greater person, to a carjacker no less. This was the guy that beat Shane Mosely twice. But greater still was his charity work. There are people who give a charity their name, and then there are those who actively work in the cause they say they support, and Vernon Forrest did just that with his work with the mentally handicapped. I don’t know how many more losses this sport can take.

Manhattan DA Robert Morgenthau must be a New York Titans fan. He is so old I don’t think anyone has gotten around to telling him that they are now called the Jets. This fossil has turned the Plaxico Burress case into his last gasp (and I mean that literally, this old gasbag is like 100) at political relevance. No one ever gets jail time on a first offense unless it’s an extreme case. Someone carrying a gun into a New York club is not altogether uncommon…let’s be objective here, ok? Would you treat Joe Namath the same way?

It took a lot for the Boston Red Sox to finally beat the so-called “Curse of the Bambino” and win a World Series in 2004…a lot of PEDs. Looks like that “confidential” report naming players who failed drug tests in 2003 includes not only Manny Ramirez, who I guess is in his second trimester now, but also David “Fat Papi” Ortiz. Remember that crap he was spewing about never disrespecting his family, fans or the game by taking steroids? Well if I may paraphrase Shakespeare “The fat dude doth protest too much methinks.” Now we don’t know what he tested positive for, so I’m not about to accuse him of anything at this point, other than having a mouth and a self righteous attitude to match his stomach.


I was asked if “cybering” should be considered cheating…any thoughts? Does camming naked count? I can’t really help there cause I’m not a cyberer. But if looking at midget porn online while being in a long term relationship is cheating, then I guess I’m guilty.

Michael Jackson with a love child? That he actually conceived? With a woman? Really?

Someone asked me if I had ever paid for sex. Of course I have, it’s called “being engaged.”

And now…some advice. Men, never initiate a conversation about weight with a woman unless you have an overwhelming need to sleep on a couch that night.


If you are not from New York, you might not have heard of the Naked Cowboy. This is some maniac who sings country songs in Times Square in his underwear, an act he has yet to be arrested for. Anyway, this clown has decided to run for Mayor, and local news media has taken him seriously. He was quoted as saying, "Being naked is a whole lot more than having no clothes on: It's about transparency in politics, it's about telling the naked truth." See this is why I never felt the need to support a boycott of the New York Post when they did that monkey cartoon…why boycott a paper that I wouldn’t even read to a retarded polar bear?


  1. Lmao, good way to poll your readers. Personally, I don't think midget porn, or any form of porn for that matter, is cheating, unless it replaces regular sex with your partner... eh, completely. I guess.

    And funny enough, I brought this up with someone at the office. I caught the NY1 special with that guy. The Naked Cowboy shares his actual name with an attorney I know... last name is spelled differently, but what a coinsidence. It made for great laughs saying that Robert Burck would walk around City Hall in his underwear and cowboy boots.

    WHY and HOW is it that he is taken seriously? I'm sorry but I couldn't get past the nakedness and ridiculousness to actually *listen* to a word he said. It was probably one of the most puzzling completely mute segments that I've ever watched on NY1.

  2. I sincerely don't know if Pete Rose's ban should be lifted. I haven't given it much thought one way or another, except to agree that he should be banned but unsure for how long. One thing is certain, if it is eventually lifted it probably shouldn't happen in his lifetime. I'd like to see it happen that way. (Just like Shoeless Joe.) And for his readmission into the sport he may then have in his favor the collective guilt over the transgressions of the juiced players of this era to thank for. How 'bout that for an interesting twist?

    Full disclosure: Ever since he purposely tackled the opposing catcher at the plate in the 1970 All Star Game, for all intents and purposes ending the man's promising career, and then responding in a glib and non-chalant manner to what he had done, I've strongly disliked Rose. "Charlie Hustle", my ass. Tell it to Ray Fosse.

    As for the Ortiz situation, I am so happy that PED ingesting by, arguably, the modern day Ruth/Gehrig, have tainted the Red Sux's 2004 championship AND left their self-righteous fans with egg on their faces. Fuck 'em.

    Btw, will someone look into the fact that The Mitchell Report, an investigation led by George Mitchell--someone with close ties to the Sux--cited NO ONE from that organization, yet Manny and now Ortiz pop up, and Pedro, Damon, Foulke, Nixon, Lowe, and Garciaparra from the Sux 2004 championship team, have also been linked to PED use?

  3. The baseball-should-forgive-Pete Rose sentiment is gaining followers. (Almost 80% of those polled on the Sports Illustrated website are in favor of it.)