The JB Random Report 7/1/09

NEWS & CURRENT EVENTS

So…anything interesting happen this week? Damn a lot of people are dropping dead this week huh? But when a death in the entertainment world seeps onto CNN in realtime, it’s pretty big. I’m not gonna write a eulogy for Michael Jackson, but I will say that all of us grew up with him, and anyone who has ever made a creative music video was influenced by him. His place in our cultural history is unambiguous. Wish I could say the same about all the craziness that is left behind. For those of you who thought Anna Nichole Smith’s death was a bizarre legal train wreck, Michael’s demise is a law firm’s wet dream. Just the issues we are aware of are enough to keep lawyers busy for years. Biological parental rights, child custody, accounting, finances, an asshole father who obviously wants to insinuate himself into some money, not to mention the fact that there are two wills and a whole lotta money and assets. Now one thing that Michael Jackson did do that proved he wasn’t not a total loon was that he appointed John Branca, a very competent West Coast attorney, the executor of his estate. But Diana Ross as back up guardian? That’s pretty weird considering that hag is almost as bad a maniac as he was.
That tribute at the Apollo Theater was pretty cool until Rev. Al Sharpton started dancing. He actually wasn’t that bad, he’s got some moves for and older guy. I guess he needed them to have been able to dance around the IRS all those years and not pay his taxes.

Oh and by the way…is anyone aware that President Obama’s landmark Environmental Bill just passed the House? The House of Representatives has voted 219 to 212 to bind the US to cutting carbon emissions by 17% from 2005 levels in 2020 and 83% in 2050. It will also set up a national cap and trade system. This is historic legislation, just thought you’d like to know…

SPORTS

Here’s someone I would have gladly written a eulogy for had I known him better. I sure did admire him. 3 time champion Alexis Arguello was found dead of an apparent suicide in the town where he was elected mayor, Managua, Nicaragua. I’m in total shock. I found this out just as I’m writing it and I still can’t believe it. He was one of the best non-heavyweights to ever win a title, and he won at a time when fighters were fighters, not cellular phone salesmen. His two losses to Aaron Pryor were still two of his greatest moments. If you can catch those fights on ESPN Classic I assure you they are worth staying up for. He retired with all his marbles and even with a little money in his pocket. He was a beloved figure in Nicaragua so I can’t imagine that his life was so bad he couldn’t find anything to hold on to. Everyone I know that knew him says he was nothing but a gentleman. May he find peace.

Free agency in the NBA is gonna be one wild ride. First of all, why the hell would Jason Kidd wanna talk to the Knicks? They suck badly and he is 36 years old. I though he wanted a ring before he retired not an ulcer.

Add Mariano Rivera’s 500th Career save to the greatest Yankee moments I have witnessed. Well, watching the Yanks sweep the series against the Mets on their own field was nice too.

And speaking of the Triple A minor league club that has become the New York Mets, as I was strolling through the corporate sponsored entity that is Citi Field I noticed something…The Mets have very few retired numbers, and I don’t think it’s just because they suck. If there is one thing I love doing every time I’m at a Mets game with Allan is torture him about not knowing the only four retired numbers of the team he is allegedly a fan of. Let’s not forget they have 4 World Series appearances with 2 Championships, which should account for a bit more numbers to be retired. Needless to say, they are not the Yankees, who have had so many amazing players they retired #8 twice, but they have had players who have made significant contributions to that team over the years, and the four numbers they have retired leave a lot to be desired, with the exception of #41 of course. Where is Keith Hernandez’ #17? 11 Gold Gloves, a .298 lifetime average, two division pennants and one World Championship. Gary Carter is actually in the Hall of Fame, no number retired? Dwight Gooden had one of the best single seasons of any pitcher in baseball history, Rookie of the Year, Cy Young Award and a World Series ring, no number retired? Ed Kranepool spent his whole career with that miserable team from its inception to two pennants and a World Series, no number retired? Not a particularly nice way to treat the players who have given you so much.
So who did they retire? Ok Allan…here are the answers to the never ending quiz. Casey Stengel was a great manager, but not with the fucking Mets. He was their first manager and he lost 404 games. He is lucky he had all those World Championships with the Yankees to cover up for those hideous years. Gil Hodges was a great player for the Dodgers, and he managed the first World Series winner, the “Miracle Mets” in 1969, but he was only there 3 years. Hardly a huge body of work with a team to have a number retired. It would be like the Yankees retiring Bob Lemon’s number. Tom Seaver? Finally one they got right, one of the best pitchers ever. And #42 is retired everywhere in honor of the great Jack Roosevelt Robinson. Wait…one team still has a player wearing it, and this is a future Hall of Famer. Wonder who that could be?

THIS WEEK’S REASON WHY TERRORISTS WANNA KILL US

There is no reason for terrorists to wanna kill us this week because everyone is dropping dead without any outside help. Besides those who died last week; Michael, Farrah Fawcett, Billy Mays, Ed McMahon; David Carradine before that; Alexis Arguello and now Karl Malden? And that’s just today! OK cue the Jim Carroll Band!