Wednesday, July 8, 2009

The JB Random Report 7/8/09


Sarah Palin just might have won the 2012 Presidential election for the Democrats. While pronouncing that she is “not a quitter” she promptly resigned as Governor of Alaska. Why? I have no idea. I guess she has deluded herself into believing that she is going to be the next President. What she fails to realize is that people are gonna have a hard time voting for someone to fix a nation after they balked at fixing a state. Every time this woman does something, whether it’s meaningless feuding with David Letterman or wearing those stupid fishing pants while giving a news conference all I can ask myself is are the same people that told Paris Hilton she could sing advising this woman?

Barack Obama made a historic trip to Moscow this week, and is participating in the G8 Summit, but let’s talk about something else…
Wow that was one wild memorial for Michael Jackson huh? Damn had that casket been closer they would have gone after that boy like a Mexican Pinata. And what did I say about keeping lawyers busy? There has already been a request by Jackson’s mother to control the estate over her son’s wishes. How this 100 year old woman thinks she is a better administrator than John Branca is beyond me. And his kids’ mom Debbie Rowe has a lawyer too, and being the biological parent she won’t be ignored by any family court judge no matter what Michael’s will says. But to have practically sold those kids isn’t gonna look too good in the eyes of the court. Neither is doing an interview where you say publicly that you never allow them to address you as “mom.” And if she really wanted those kids there was never a better time to claim them than when he was arrested for child molestation, so her path is gonna be a tough one too. I think Marlon said it best when he said “maybe now they will leave you alone.” No chance dude, the lawyers are just getting warmed up.
I guess it’s hard to be objective about such a bizarre figure in pop culture, someone like that can only be polarizing. I look at him a lot simpler than other people do…He was an amazing entertainer. In the history of popular music, there is Frank Sinatra, Elvis Presley and Michael Jackson. You don’t have to be a fan of any of these to recognize their significance, and their place in cultural history. Personally, I loved Michael Jackson’s music…I would never let him baby sit, but I loved his music.
Speaking of babies, did you see the look in that kid Blanket’s eyes during the service? Totally creeped me out. Kinda reminded me of that kid in the original Omen movie.

OK OK here they are…everybody happy now?

My Top 5 Michael Jackson Songs

Remember The Time / Dangerous 1991
Stranger in Moscow / HIStory 1995
Rock With You / Off The Wall 1979
Butterflies / Invincible 2002
Thriller / Thriller 1982


I bet Steve McNair is somewhere wishing he hadn’t been banging a crazy chick on the side. A murder-suicide in a another woman’s apartment has to be the absolute worst way to find out your husband was fooling around. It’s not like finding a few sexually explicit e-mails. I love Desi girls, and this Sahel Kazemi was a total hottie, but crazy knows no beauty, and Hell hath no fury like a dumb hot chick scorned. No one is perfect, and it’s a shame that the amazing things he did on the football field and as a positive influence in the community will be forever tainted with how he died.

See…this is why you don’t let crazy into your house!


Daytime TV.


  1. I'd buy Paris Hilton's album twice before I'd vote for Sarah Palin. (But I would hit that. Yes, sir.) Just sayin'...

    I paid tribute to MJ the artist by looking back on Off The Wall:

    Re crazy chicks: my buddy and neighbor Matt, a lover of whisky, women and song, always warns about meeting girls in bars because "that's where crazy lives."

    And as someone who's been stalked twice in the last few years--which prompted certain friends to figuratively divvy up my CD collection, in anticipation of my death at the hands of one of these unbalanced women--I should pay more attention to his wise declaration. But, sadly, I don't.

    What was the last line in Auto Focus? Ah, yes: "Men gotta have fun."

  2. My favorites:

    Off The Wall from "Off The Wall"
    Human Nature from "Thriller"
    Jam from "Dangerous"
    Remember the Time from "Dangerous"
    You Rock My World from "Invincible"

    RIP KoP