That Awkward Moment When...

NEWS & CURRENT EVENTS

 

I can’t say I was overwhelmed by the President’s State of the Union Address. It wasn’t a bad speech as far as speeches go, but I wanted to be blown away, and I was not. Yes the end where he deservedly praised US Army Ranger Sgt. 1st Class Cory Remsburg was both well received and genuine, but for such an exceptional speaker, I was expecting more. But even a satisfactory Obama speech is better than an insane Ted Cruz or Rand Paul rant any day. How united is the Republican Party when they needed three different responses to one State of the Union?

However, even heroes mess up, and Obama did screw the pooch in one instance. “Ronald Reagan used executive orders more than Barack Obama, but he never said it, he just did it.” This is a very well put quote by someone who I’ve always thought was kind of an asshole, Newt Gingrich. Obama’s approval rating is currently at 43%, and by making this very public threat to Congress, he has given the American people more of what they hate…yet another example of governmental dysfunction. Now, I totally understand Obama’s frustration. Never in the modern history of the United States has a President ever encountered such a hostile Congress, but this is not how to take that frustration out. Barack, go out to the basketball court that you built on the White House grounds and shoot some hoops, do some yoga or practice Kung Fu with your bodyguards like Elvis used to, but don’t make it worse by sinking to their level. Remember this great experiment will fail unless you maintain your composure, even in the face of complete and utter stupidity, fear, racism and obstructionism; all of which are the real contributors to your troubles with Congress.  

SPORTS

The Super Bowl is this week…so let’s talk about race!!! This town is crazy with Super Bowl fever. I ran into Osi Umenyiora on Broadway yesterday, a street that was shut down in the middle of Times Square in celebration of Sunday’s big game. I asked him for a prediction, and his answer would make any Giants fan proud…”we’ll get ‘em next year.”

For the past two weeks, however, the narrative has been less about the game and more about the Seattle Seahawks outspoken cornerback, Richard Sherman. Yeah he went on a bit of a rant after beating the San Francisco 49ers, but give the guy a break, he just made the key play that won the biggest game of his life. The conversation quickly turned to words like “thug” which as far as I’m concerned, is just coded language for the “N” word. Let me remind you that yes, this guy is from Compton, but he also went to Stanford. He has no off the field issues and has apologized every day since. I know a confident black man who is not only a gifted athlete, but an intelligent young man scares that shit out of white America, but you have nothing on him. Maybe it’s time to move on?

As for the actual game, much as I love the vitality of the Seahawks, I would love to watch Payton Manning win another Super Bowl and actually make history as the only quarterback to ever win one with two different teams. The Seahawks are young and going to be really good for a really long time, and defense always beats offense, but still I hope Payton has his day.

And now, it’s time for a new segment here at the Report. Yes I know it is said a lot, and there is even a movie coming up with this title, but as usual, my lines are funnier and better written, so here it goes…

THAT AWKWARD MOMENT WHEN

You are standing in the middle of a crowded subway train and remember something funny and start cracking up all by yourself like a friggin' maniac...