Who is more dangerous? Barbie or Lil' Kim? 4/12/13

“I wasn’t lucky, I deserved it.”

“To wear your heart on your sleeve isn’t a very good plan; you should wear it inside, where it functions best.”

“Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren’t”

-          Margaret Thatcher 1925-2013

I chose to acknowledge that I didn’t always agree with this woman historically, but to remember her fondly.

NEWS & CURRENT EVENTS

Am I the only one that is aware that there is no possible way that North Korea can actually hit the United States with a missile? Sure we have to protect our allies in the region but can we tone the rhetoric down just a bit? I mean what did Dennis Rodman do over there? Did he teabag Lil’ Kim while he was taking a power nap?

Look, the North Korean missile program is about as advanced as the Russian system…in 1963. Seriously I have a better chance of hitting the Pentagon with a bottle rocket from my roof in New York than these nit wit North Koreans do. If they were even to fuel a missile we would know about it, which is why I cannot understand why they are taking such a hard stance. This little runt Kim Jong Un is obviously owned by the military and is being advised very badly, and dangerously. And one more thing, I see pictures of this little guy every day on CNN and all I can ask myself is, “what the fuck is he always looking at?”

I am also a bit surprised that China has not taken more visible steps to keep these maniacs in line. The last thing they want is increased involvement in the region by the United States, which is precisely what will happen if North Korea threatens to further destabilize the region. I guess they are too busy dealing with that new strand of bird flu, but they better keep their friends in line.

SPORTS

So as I correctly predicted, Louisville won the National Championship, solidifying an already pretty impressive bracket this year by me, and beating my rival President Barack Obama.

THIS WEEK’S REASON WHY TERRORISTS WANNA KILL US

Have you heard of this Mexico Barbie? I’m serious, in order to appease, well I have no fucking idea really, that growing segment of the Latino population that plays with American Barbie dolls? Mattel has decided to create a slightly darker version of the doll whose accessories include,  and I’m not making this up, a ruffled party dress, a fucking Chihuahua and a passport; yeah, a passport, just in case she tries to cross the border illegally.

The website MamásLatinas, an online community for Latina women and mothers, said it was jarring to see Mexico Barbie with a passport, given the politically charged discussions of immigration politics in the United States. Really? Ok if this organization is to be taken seriously, shouldn’t they think about maybe changing that name? I’m sure that they mean to embody strong Latino parents, but some of us see that name and think “internet porn.”

As for the doll, I really think that this organization needs to find something better to complain about. Not that it isn’t painfully obvious that the geniuses at Mattel have no idea how to gauge the immigration debate in this country, but what do expect from these out of touch morons whose only contact with our population is to learn a few Spanish words so they can communicate with the help? I think if this were really meant to really offend it would have a pregnant Mexican Barbie, half the size of regular Barbie with six screaming little fat kids, a few tacos, an EBT card, and a baby carriage as accessories.