Opening Day? Well, Maybe If Naked Cheerleaders Are Involved... 3/29/13

Look, I’ve been busy ok? Not to mention the fact that none of you so called “loyal” readers even bothered to vote for me to be the new Pope, so forgive me if I’m a bit testy.

NEWS & CURRENT EVENTS

I always wondered why gays would ever want to get married. I always love quoting one of my favorite gays, John Waters when he says “I thought one of the best things about being gay was supposed to be that you never had to join the Army or get married.” I guess times have changed. The Supreme Court this week is hearing arguments against the Defense of Marriage Act passed in California that defines a marriage as between a man and a woman.
Look, I’m not about to get into a debate on anyone’s morality, I will not even address the fact that public sentiment has dramatically shifted in favor of striking this act down, but let me tell you why the Defense of Marriage Act will be and should be overturned…Legally, there is no argument, Constitutional or otherwise (this means YOU Justice Scalia), that can defend the notion that two consenting adults cannot enter into a legally binding contract. 

When did North Korea get so pissed off at South Korea all of a sudden? Did that “Gangnam Style” guy sneak across the border?

SPORTS

So how’s your bracket? Believe it or not I am actually doing better than President Barack Obama this year, so that’s good.

If the Yankees get any more injuries, they are going to have to play Opening Day from a rehab center instead of Yankee Stadium. Now, I have been a Yankee fan my entire life as you all well know. My adult years have all been spoiled and self-entitled because the Yankees have been winning so much since 1996, that I really don’t know how I am going to deal with this obvious difficult transition.

The one thing that Hal and Hank Steinbrenner (is it me or does Hank remind you of John Wayne having a stroke?) do not seem to understand is that you cannot buy your way out of this situation. Just look at what their father did in the 1980’s. He threw millions of dollars at free agents but never won a championship.

Yes the Yankees of the 1990’s and today had a heavy payroll, but it was not a totally bloated payroll, as the players produced wins, and, the team for the most part was built, not bought. Yes there were a few key free agents sprinked here and there, but the core of the team, Derek Jeter, Mariano Rivera, Jorge Posada, Andy Pettitte, Bernie Williams, and today Robinson Cano, were all home grown Yankees. That is something that is sorely lacking in the farm system of today. Not that there are no good prospects, there is just not anyone that good, already developed, coming down the pipe. So Yankee fans, let’s manage this decline as best we can.

THIS WEEK’S REASON WHY TERRORISTS WANNA KILL US

Ahh yes Alaska, the same progressives that brought us Sarah Palin, has now given us yet another genius. Rep. Don Young, Republican Congressman from Alaska was doing a radio interview where he waxed poetic about the good ol' days..." My father had a ranch; we used to have 50-60 wetbacks to pick tomatoes...it takes two people to pick the same tomatoes now. It's all done by machine." He was discussing the number of jobs that have since been gone due to advances in automation. Something must be in those Moose burgers that is making everyone up there so loopy. This little interview should really help Republicans with that whole "reaching out to minorities" thing.