“I have no American Friends”…Maybe Because You’re An Asshole? 4/21/13

NEWS & CURRENT EVENTS

I can’t remember a week that was so violent, I really am glad it’s over. One thing I love about The United States of America, we may have our faults, but we never let the same dog bite us twice, and we tend to really learn from our mistakes (well except for the retarded George W Bush who obviously would have learned something from Vietnam had he not dodged service). Since 9/11 we have stepped up our homeland security game, yes it sucks to have to take your shoes off at the airport, but we have not had another hijacking since.

Within weeks of the 9/11 attacks in 2001, some asshole decided to send Anthrax laced letters to the Senate, so we received all mail sent to politicians outside of the White House or the Capitol, and when some asshole decided to send Ricin laced letters to the White House, coincidentally right after the bombings in Boston, we used the lessons learned and he was caught. But then again, the suspect is an Elvis impersonator from Mississippi, so did you really think it would take that long?

Law enforcement went through the burdensome task of shutting the entire city of Boston down to look for the two assholes, that killed 4 people and injured hundreds by detonating a bomb during the marathon, and they were found. One asshole was killed, and now this surviving suspect will not be questioned by local law enforcement, but face the same Federal interrogators that deal with “high value” targets (can you say “waterboarding?”), so he is in some trouble. Now there is no Federal statute for murder, but there is a convenient new federal charge known as “use of a weapon of mass destruction to kill people,” which just happens to carry the death penalty.

I have a great deal of respect for the ACLU, but they actually got it wrong this time when they expressed “concerns” about Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, whenever he comes to, not being read his Miranda rights. Any first year law student (at least one that actually opened a book) can tell you that first off, unlike what you see on CSI, Miranda rights do not have to be read to you upon arrest. They are reserved for questioning. That notwithstanding, the police can actually question you at anytime, regardless of the “public safety” exception. The difference being that any information the police get during that questioning simply must be supressed should a trial occur.

So there is no law that says the police cannot question you without reading you your rights, the law is that should they fail to read you your rights, question you, and you foolishly decide to answer, then those statements cannot be used against you. It should be noted that once the suspect demands an attorney, then all questioning must stop. Now, given the fact that a public defender has already been assigned this case, all of this could actually be a mute point, but the ACLU, whose heart I’m sure is in the right place, got the spirit of the law wrong.

Then there was that expolsion in Texas that killed 14 people that is being treated as a crimce scene, and while you were on facebook sending your “thoughts and prayers,” due to these incidents, do you know what The House of Representatives did?  They took advantage of a clearly distracted public to pass CISPA. If signed into law, CISPA would make it legal for websites to give your personal information to the U.S. government without your permission. Not to be outdone, the Senate decided not to listen to 90% of the people that elected them and struck down a law that would require background checks for gun buyers. Nice.

SPORTS & THIS WEEK’S REASON WHY TERRORISTS WANNA KILL US

Even now, I stand by my statement that the only way I would ever root for the Boston Red Sox is if they are playing against a team fielded by Al-Qaeda. But for the FCC to come out and say that they could have fined David Ortiz for saying that “this is our fucking city” over the Fenway Park PA while giving a speech during the opening of the Red Sox first home game since the Boston Marathon tragedy is just fucking stupid. Clearly Ortiz was emotional and had every reason to be, so if the F-word is dropped, how about you Feds just lighten the fuck up?

Hey FCC…Fuck You!