Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Tail 11/15/12

This country became weaker last week after the abrupt resignation of CIA Director and Airborne Ranger General David Petraeus. For those of you who have still not been able to put your head around this thing, let me give you the short version: After an outstanding military career that most soldiers would die for that made him the most significant US General since George S.Patton, General Petraeus decided to participate in the writing of his biography. After looking back at his life and finally realizing how cool he was, he became drunk with the adulation and decided it would be OK to poke his biographer and fellow West Point grad, Paula Broadwell which he proceeded to do in a swift, proficient, military manner.

Now, the General was also friends with socialite and military groupie Jill Kelley, who for the record, is pretty hot for a woman her age. She kinda looks like a less white trash version of Kim Kardashian’s mom. Broadwell found out about the friendship and much like boneheaded high school kids, Broadwell sent threatening e-mails to Kelley telling her to stay away from her man, Kelley told the Dean (in this case, the FBI) who was so into Kelley that the agent in charge sent her a shirtless picture, and in the process of investigating Broadwell, found e-mails from Gen Petraeus exposing their affair.

In looking at Kelley’s e-mails, investigators found messages from General John Allen, who now has his promotion pushed back due to his many e-mails to Kelley. Yeah, all this shit because of e-mails.

Is Petraeus a flawed man? Obviously. Is this bullshit worth resigning over? Of course not. Which is why President Barack Obama didn’t accept his resignation at first, then reluctantly did so, so that this wouldn’t be a further distraction.

Now, as much as I really hate anyone having to lose their job over who they are sleeping with, there are genuine questions that need to be addressed. The first being the comments made by Broadwell after the September 11, 2012 attacks on our embassy in Bengazi, Libya. She said that the attacks might have been due to the prisoners that might have been detained there. News to all of us I’m sure, and if the Director of the CIA is giving away classified information during pillow talk then yeah, he is unfit to run the CIA. The next question is, if he can’t even keep his own extra curricular activities quiet, how the hell can he possibly run a spy agency?

Then there is of course, the right wing sore losers who want to make Petraeus’ zipper problem the fault of Barack Obama. Today Senator John McCain, who lost to Obama is 2008, held a press conference “demanding answers” as to what Obama knew and didn’t know about Bengazi, even bringing up the debate with Mitt Romney where Obama thrashed him (Dude you still mad, bro?). I wonder what “answers” John McCain was “demanding” from the President when George W Bush was allowing blatant war profiteering to go on during an illegal and immoral war waged under false pretenses that cost thousands of American lives?

Seriously do we still have to have this debate in 2012 about how what a man does in his private life does not affect his professional one? Have we forgotten that Thomas Jefferson managed to write a Declaration of Independence while banging Sally Hemings? That Franklin D. Roosevelt got us out of a depression and won a war while having a mistress…and he was in a wheelchair! And John F Kennedy…well…

Now, it is certainly understandable that an affair would leave the CIA director open to blackmail, but it’s a Catch -22 isn’t it? If no one cares, then it’s a mute point. Do you think that someone like George Clooney is open to blackmail because he bangs anything that moves? Exactly! And he is actually good looking. Let’s stop making such an effort to look stupid. Right now, the rest of the world that is not populated by Puritanical hypocrites is once again, laughing at us.

 

THIS WEEK’S REASON WHY TERRORISTS WANNA KILL US

Our overwhelming obsession with minutia, and our willingness to allow it to destroy great men.