Running Backwards Towards the Future 8/31/12

I loved the Republican National Convention. There is nothing better than having a bunch of maniacal yahoos actually prove that they are maniacal yahoos on national television. I must say the stories coming out of this event are great examples of how backwards Republicans actually are, so let’s tell some!

First off, let’s start with their slogan, “We Built This” an obvious response to a statement by President Barack Obama that was taken grossly out of context, but why let the truth stand in the way of a good slogan? While implying that no one needs any help at all from the government when starting a business in America, the seemed to ignore the fact that the Tampa Bay Times Forum Arena, the very place where they were having their convention was built by using 62% taxpayer money. Nice to see that the Republican hypocracy train is running on time as usual, but what baffles me is how they have gotten so many people to buy into either their indifference or complete ignorance of the facts. 

Chris Christie’s speech was more about him and the fact that he is the GOP’s next presidential candidate, than it was about his candidate or his party. But you gotta admit he does have some personality. But he has to stay alive in order to be the new face of the GOP, and he might not live too long if he keeps mainlining cheese fries.

It was nice to see how the party that once filibustered civil rights legislation has finally progressed. This best illustrated by delegates throwing peanuts at CNN camerawoman Patricia Caroll, who is African American and yelling “This is how we feed the animals!” Yeah…stay classy GOP.

Everyone talked about how Paul Ryan “energized” the convention during his speech, but no one can seem to remember what the fuck he actually said, so maybe they were talking about him recharging everyone’s powerchair and gauging everyone’s oxygen tank.

And speaking of needing oxygen…Ahhh Clint Eastwood. Look, we all loved “Unforgiven” and “Million Dollar Baby.” I often imitated “Dirty Harry” and every other memorable quote from his career in front of a mirror like any other red-blooded American kid, but maybe it is time to have that difficult discussion about putting him, not in a home, but call it a “retirement community for active seniors.” When you spend 12 minutes rambling to a chair, we worry. We worry because we love you.

Mitt Romney’s speech was supposed to be his greatest public moment; the time where we finally get to know the man and his vision for the future of America. So did he say anything new? Interesting? Truthful? Obviously not because early polls indicated absolutely no change at all in the Presidential race so far.

You know who was noticeably absent from all the festivities? Retarded former President George W Bush. What does it say about how Republicans feel about him, and what does it say about his presidency that not even the GOP, who seem to be experts at fiction and getting stupid people to believe anything, cannot seem to find one good thing to say about him? Not one positive event in his record that would be enough to allow him to at least address the convention.

What does it say about a party that the last president they seem to revere was Ronald Reagan, a man who was president 30 years ago, and whose record they obviously know nothing about. If Reagan were alive today, he would be marginalized by this same party for being “too liberal.” Seriously if Reagan is their Kennedy or their FDR, they are in serious trouble.

THIS WEEK’S REASON WHY TERRORISTS WANNA KILL US

I’m sorry but I just have to say one last thing about this ridiculous convention. One of their main themes was the idea that Barack Obama’s presidency has been disappointing and that “Hope and Change” were great things to vote for, but that they didn’t really work.

Well nothing can work when every one of his ideas meets with a Congress that will not allow this “experiment to work,” to paraphrase Paul Ryan. The "experiment" of course, is to let a black man run things. They talked about the debt, but refuse to address the reason it’s so high is because Bush put his two wars on the national credit card and Obama has been stuck with the bill.

They talk about how Obama wants to increase government, but seem to forget the fact that in three years under the Obama administration, more private sector jobs have been created than in eight years during George W Bush.

It is baffling to me how these people are so indifferent to the truth and yet still in this race.