Everyone's Advisors Need Advisors 7/12/12

NEWS & CURRENT EVENTS

Think your government isn’t hard at work? The House of Representatives voted for the (yawn) 31^st (or 33^rd, but who’s really counting at this point) time to try and repeal the Affordable Health Care Act, even after the Supreme Court has declared that it is Constitutional, which now makes all three branches of government that have endorsed this act. At this point, there is no way that this can be just about health care right? With so many more pressing problems, why is it that House Republicans can’t seem to get their head around the fact that they lost? What I would like to know is, what is it about the bill they hate so much? Is it the affordability or the humanity? Or could it be the crippling fear of a black man leaving a legacy that later generations will thank him for and thus, opening the door for the possibility of another black man actually being president again? 

SPORTS

I think FOXSports is finally catching up to FOXNews in complete and utter stupidity. Well actually they just reported the story, they didn’t necessarily endorse the content, but who cares really? FOXNews is just dying to be called stupid so why not do it anyway?

However, the questionable intelligence this time comes from none other than Kobe Bryant, who when asked if whether or not the current US Men’s Olympic Basketball team could beat the 1992 Dream Team he responded with: "It'd be a tough one, but I think we'd pull it out." OK, there is a lot to say here: First off, let me say that reporters should stop asking this question every four years. It is getting boring and it’s an unfair question. No one on any subsequent Olympic team wants to be compared to a team with 11 Hall of Famers. And what would you expect them to say? “Uh gee…no. My team, that I am on, and have given up my Summer to play for, is not the team I really want to be on”? Come on already, put it to rest. OK so now that that’s out of the way…Are you fucking nuts, Kobe?I really don’t know what’s worse, the fact that Kobe Bryant, someone who this team is counting on could possibly be that delusional, or the fact that the “writer” of this article, identified only by some ridiculous web-nick name and not an actual name,  who is supposed to be informed given the fact that he is a writer, agrees with him.

Look, I could get into a whole sports geek argument about why this is so preposterous, but I will keep it simple. Ask yourself these simple questions… are there 11 legitimate NBA Hall of Famers on the 2012 Olympic Team? Are there any “All-time” players at their positions on the 2012 Olympic team? Is the greatest Center, Forward or Guard ever, playing in the NBA today? Exactly. Case closed. Moving on…

THIS WEEK’S REASON WHY TERRORISTS WANNA KILL US

I really am gonna miss Mitt Romney when he loses to Barack Obama. He really is a social commentator’s wet dream. It’s almost like he fucks up on cue whenever I need some rich out of touch white guy to make fun of, he provides me with “the trees are just the right size in Michigan” or trying to sing “America the Beautiful” on camera. And just when you thought someone had reeled him in, he decides to personally address the NAACP National Convention. No, really…he actually did this. And during his speech he decides to talk about repealing “Obamacare.” Thus, denying about 14 million African Americans health care. Brilliant move Mitt, thank you. Seriously who is advising this guy? Regardless of whether or not you want to stick to your guns, at least know your audience. Needless to say he was booed mercilessly. It was as if some ridiculous, rich, white, out-of-touch Mormon had gone to an NAACP meeting and…wait a minute.

What’s even funnier is that his backers actually praised Romney for going to the meeting calling him “brave.” Brave? Really?  That’s actually even more insulting. Why was he brave? What was so dangerous or life threatening about attending a meeting of a globally recognized, decades old civil rights organization? Were they afraid the angry black folks might rob him? What an asshole.