The Bad, The Worse, and The Ugly 6/14/12

NEWS & CURRENT EVENTS

In Iran last week, websites and social networks had been reporting for days claiming that Pepsi Co. was planning on using high powered lasers to create the ultimate out-of-this-world advertisement: their logo on the side of the moon. Needless to say, the moon remained the same.  

"My colleagues and I gazed at the moon for several minutes and saw nothing." Said an Iranian journalist. Really? What a shock. He admitted that his girlfriend had expressed skepticism, asking him why no international news stations had picked up the story to which he had simply replied that the agencies wouldn't want to advertise for Pepsi. This is that brilliant reasoning they use in Iran, and how ironic that the opressed gender is the only one intelligent enough to be skeptical.

This is not the first time Iranians have fallen victim to such a hoax. In 1979, following the Iranian revolution, people waited for Ayatollah Khomeini to appear on the moon only to be equally disappointed. I can’t believe these are the same people who claim to have reverse-engineered one of our drones and actually expected the world to believe it.

This White House leaks story isn’t going away any time soon is it? I love how Republicans have come to the brilliant conclusion that the Obama administration somehow leaked classified information on purpose to make Obama look better. Really? How does a breach in national security actually make him look better? And given the fact that he is one of the most effective foreign policy presidents in US history in only one term, why would this be the issue he feels he would need help in?

ENTERTAINMENT

So after flashing her breast to an audience in Turkey last week, Madonna decided that she would moon the audience in Rome in this week…

OK, I’m sure no one cares at this point, but shouldn’t her family be at least a bit concerned? I certainly cannot be the only one oddly repulsed by this irrelevant senior citizen desperately attempting to cling to her long lost youth by flashing at her age, right?

Seriously if my grandmother were exhibiting similar behavior we would be having a family meeting to determine which senior citizens home to put her in.

SPORTS

I have been involved in boxing as a fan, fighter and trainer for pretty much most of my life. Regardless of the violence, it really is like playing Chess with your fists and footwork, and it is a great sport to be a part of. The unskilled fashion of the times are just that, and boxing is something that I hope will live through it. However, the sport becomes considerably harder to defend when you have decisions like the one that gave Timothy Bradley a victory over Manny Pacquiao on Saturday.

One of the things I like about UFC is that even though it can be viewed as a dictatorship by Dana White, he is at least a fair dictator who has not let absolute power corrupt him absolutely. Not even David Stern of the NBA can say that, given the recent questions about the league owning the New Orleans Hornets and them miraculously winning the Draft lottery, and last year when they blocked a trade that would have sent their then star player, Chris Paul, to the Los Angeles Lakers. But that’s a story for another time.

White has created a model where he acknowledges which fights he believes the fans want to see, and he makes them happen. Can bad decisions happen in UFC? Of course, and you can argue that boxing has been around much longer and therefore can only claim so many mistakes due to longevity, but the Pacquiao decision happened on Saturday, not many years ago, and if the sport is going to survive, it must do whatever it can to prevent things like this from happening.

Bob Arum called the Bradley/Pacquiao decision a “death nail” for the sport of boxing, and he should know considering that he holds the biggest hammer, and could have advocated for better judges, open scoring or some type of accountability or review system in place so that decisions this atrocious are not allowed to stand. And while you are at it, take a page from Dana White and make the best fights happen. Pacquiao should have been fighting Floyd Mayweather instead of Bradley, and that fight should have happened years ago.   

THIS WEEK’S REASON WHY TERRORISTS WANNA KILL US

At first I really though this was a joke, but it is not…

The Burger King Bacon Sundae. That’s right, an ice cream sundae with bits of crispy bacon. (Ok, please continue reading after vomiting into the nearest trash can) Is it a coincidence that Nashville is where they tested this before they decided to slowly expose the rest of us? Just by looking at this, I can practically hear myself getting fatter.