Gays Are Now Free To Join Us In Misery 6/25/11

Last night the State Senate here in New York passed a bill allowing gay marriage. The news media stressed how important this was with New York being the biggest state to pass such a bill. New York is also where the movement for gay equality began in 1969 with the Stonewall riots. Here’s a brief history lesson for those who don’t know…

If there is a pioneer in the gay rights movement that all gays should thank, it’s…The Gambino crime family. Who were you expecting? Elton John or Liberace? Yes, the Gambino crime family was the first to exploit the fact that gays were being harassed by authorities wherever they would attempt to socialize, so the Mob decided to buy a bar where they would charge admission and nearly 3 times as much for watered down drinks, but let gays openly socialize. When the cops began harassing them there too, they decided they had had just about enough, removed their high heels and start throwing them at the cops, then they began respond to nightsticks with their purses and feathered boas...kinda like Hulk Hogan. Anyway, this riot set the stage for equality, as the first steps were taken so that gays could no longer be fired from their jobs or put in jail simply because of who they are attracted to.

Last nights ruling was a greater step towards the equality demanded by a frustrated, angry group of people over 40 years ago. But be careful what you wish for, you just might get it. My question is why? Why would you want to join married people in their misery, especially when 50% of all marriages end in divorce? Can you imagine the first gay divorce in family court? I know a lot of those judges, and I can assure you that they are not exactly tolerant people.

John Waters, one of my all time favorite gay people said once that he was very “Gay Politically Incorrect” because he thought that one of the benefits of being gay was that you didn’t have to join the Army and you never had to get married. Seriously why do you think gay guys live longer than a lot of straight married men? Because they don’t have the stress of married life burdening them, and they don’t have the pressure of having a cackling yenta in your ear constantly whining about how all her friends are married and now she wants a wedding too. Here, I have two words that will spark the fear of God into you all…Gay Bridezilla!

One thing that I hope does come of this is that people stop using the term “gay rights.” They are not gay rights, they are everyone’s rights. Gays are not asking for anything that should be exclusive to them, all gays ask for is to be afforded the same right to marry as anyone else. They ask for no special treatment or quota system.

Conservative detractors, those same honest, straight-forward, non-hypocrites that brought you Ted Haggard and Larry Craig seem to be worried that this legislation will lead to people being able to practice polygamy and even marry a horse. Really? I didn’t know a horse was a consenting adult. The Catholic Church here in New York chimed in as Archbishop Timothy Dolan said, “we strongly affirm that marriage is the joining of one man and one woman in a lifelong, loving union that is open to children, ordered for the good of those children and the spouses themselves." For the record, Archbishop Dolan has proven to be a reasonable and tolerant man, but with all due respect sir, maybe your organization should not be policing morality, sexuality or what is best for children so loudly, given its recent history.

If anyone has a statistic proving that gay relationships are somehow less stable, compassionate or loving than straight ones, then come forward. But reasonable people know that’s not really the case is it? The best attitude on this matter really is that if it doesn’t hurt you, why hate it?

I’m actually happy for the gay community if this is what they want. I think they are nuts for wanting it, but that’s only a short sighted opinion. The truth of the matter is that even people who are against marriage should support them in their right to marry, even if they don’t support the decision to chain your life till its miserable end to someone who will take half your money and never shut the fuck up. Marriage isn’t really the issue here; it’s the right to marry, once denied, now a reality.