Every Day Brings Us Closer to the End 10/7/10

NEWS & CURRENT EVENTS

Sorry but there really wasn’t anything worth writing about last week, and besides I needed a vacation. This week isn’t that interesting either, but did I hear this right, Rahm Emanuel quit his job and Rick Sanchez got fired from CNN last Friday? Wow, I guess something interesting did happen while I was away. Look, I have never been a fan of Rick Sanchez. He’s always come off kinda phony to me; a gasbag full of fake outrage at every racial issue just because he knows three words in Spanish. But he certainly proved me wrong didn’t he? Not only did he call Jon Stewart a bigot, but also said CNN and the media was run by Jews. I guess the media folks at CNN don’t like to be called Jews, 'cause they fired him immediately. When will people learn? The powerful Jews in the media don’t like anyone talking shit about the powerful Jews in the media. Just look at what happened to Helen Thomas, and she was actually a serious journalist. So if she can get fired for talking about Jews, what did you think would happen to a crumbcake like you? Well maybe now that he just made our “List You Don’t Wanna Be On,” he will think before he talks. What do you think he will do next?
You gotta love how Jon Stewart gets dumb people to hang themselves with their own rope of bullshit. First it was that idiot Jim Cramer, now this guy. Although Stewart did take the high road in his response, I have to agree with him to some extent; Rick Sanchez is a schmuck, but unless his comments were particularly inflammatory or would never allow him to ask a difficult question again, I have never liked the idea of anyone getting fired for expressing an opinion, regardless of whether or not it conflicts with my own. However, and for the record these were not Sanchez’ exact words, but when you indicate that Jews are somehow not an oppressed minority, there may be some Holocaust survivors who would beg to differ, and it is usually when we forget history that it tends to repeat itself.
As for Emanuel, I’m sure he told a few people to go fuck themselves before exiting Washington for the clean, morally incorruptible venue that is Chicago politics.

SPORTS

Jay Cutler was sacked nine times by the Giants defense…still couldn’t knock the asshole out of him.

And it is October, so I believe that some baseball might have been played last night? I’m picking the Yankees, the greatest franchise in the history of sports to win it all, as usual. The comeback win last night proves that no matter how big your payroll is, all you need are hungry players. They own every team in the playoffs except for Tampa Bay, who has to give away tickets to get people to go to their home games and will be broken up after this season.
The interesting stories are in the National League. The Phillies are a great team, but let’s not forget that Roy Halladay, great as he is, has yet to prove himself in the post season. Oh wait a minute…I think he might have had a good debut last night, throwing only the second no-hitter in post season history, one walk keeping it from being a perfect game. He is also the fifth pitcher to ever throw two no-hitters in a season. I wonder how the hell Roy Oswalt is gonna follow that? And maybe TBS should think about some new announcers, because their guys called this historical game with all the motivation and enthusiasm of melted ice cream.
Atlanta made it after a shaky start, and what a proper way to say good-bye to their certain Hall of Fame manager Bobby Cox. A small market team like Cincinnati making it is always great, but the story of the regular season has to be the San Francisco Giants. After the debacle that was Barry Bonds and his chemically enhanced (allegedly) home run record, the Giants decided to rebuild with patience (any other team and Barry Zito would’ve been a ball boy by now), pitching and defense. They play in a great town, in front of great fans in an aesthetically pleasing new stadium, and after everything they went through, I hope they do well.

THIS WEEK’S REASON WHY TERRORISTS WANNA KILL US

Is it true that Snooki from Jersey Shore has a, umm...book deal with Simon & Schuster? I hope so, because if it’s a lie then this gun in my mouth is gonna look really stupid.