The JB Random Report 6/17/09

NEWS & CURRENT EVENTS

I am not a huge fan of people constantly up each other’s asses with Google, Twitter, and putting everything on Youtube. Some things really do need to be left alone by you bored net-detectives that watch way too much CSI Miami. Don’t trust the guy you are dating? Then maybe you should make better choices, instead of trying to be the couch potato version of James Bond.
However, sometimes these tools are the only thing that keeps freedom of expression alive, and sometimes dirty laundry must be aired out. Now that should never be the case with individuals, but nations that repress their people with violence and censorship of the press need to be outed, and such is the case with Iran.
They held elections last week, and the reformist candidate Mir Hossein Mousavi, was way ahead until the incumbent President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad decided to close polls and declare himself the winner. There were riots and protest among the people alleging electoral fraud. Even the religious maniacs that run that country said there were “irregularities” in the election.
They have since called for an end to the protests where as much as seven people have died, according to the state run media. Authorities have been trying to control information about dissent by blocking Web sites, jamming satellite signals and barring foreign media from leaving their offices to report on demonstrations on the streets of Tehran. But the people are fighting back, twittering and posting video of the government’s crackdown of protesters.
The government can’t control that, so then why not just blame someone else for their Nazi tactics? Instead of attempting to solve this problem through an understanding with its people, Iran instead accused the United States of "intolerable" meddling in its internal affairs, alleging that Washington has fueled the postelection dispute. Are these religious nuts aware that we have had no representatives in Iran since 1979? Sorry but this is one you can’t pin on “The Great Satan.” You tortured your own people Ayatollah, and you are gonna have to deal with their response without blaming someone else.
And you know what else? I’ve always had a problem with these fanatic Muslim countries calling us the “great” Satan. I mean that’s just too much to live up to, and we are just not that ambitious.

SPORTS

Donte' Stallworth is gonna do 30 days for killing a man while driving drunk in Florida. The max was 15 years. After his release he gets two years of house arrest and eight years probation. The house arrest provisions will allow him to resume his football career, which I think is what meant the most to him.
Michael Vick got over a year for killing dogs. Seems odd that a dogs life is worth more than a human’s right? Well I think it was more the individual defendants rather than the actual crimes that brought such different outcomes. Stallworth was wrong and deserves to pay for what he has done, but at least he acted like so few self entitled professional athletes. He stepped up like a man and admitted full responsibility for his actions. He stayed at the scene after the accident, reached a financial settlement with the family, and coperated fully with the investigation. Most Un-Vick-like.
The night before the crash, Stallworth earned a $4.5 million roster bonus from the Browns. Guess he’s gonna need it now.
But seriously, all the parties involved, even the victim’s family, agreed to this punishment, it’s time to let them all move on.

Say it ain’t so Sammy! I can’t believe that I’m actually agreeing with a sports writer, but I think John Hayman put this whole thing in perspective. As a Hall of Fame voter he said that he would look at each player on a case by case basis; A position which he is taking a lot of criticism for. What he means is that when the names of Barry Bonds, Alex Rodriguez and Roger Clemens come before him, he will ask himself “Would these guys be in the Hall of Fame without PED’s?” The answer would be yes. Would Sammy Sosa or Mark McGwire? Sorry guys but no. I remember when McGwire’s career was practically over, and Sammy Sosa was traded for Harold Baines (then again GW Bush was the owner of the Rangers at the time so who knows why that happened). Then out of nowhere they are battling to see who’s the first to break Roger Maris’ record? And what’s worse for Sammy is that he was another rocket scientist who decided it would be a good idea to go before Congress and lie. I hope he realizes that just because he pretended not to know English that day that doesn’t mean he can’t still be charged with perjury.

LOVE & RELATIONSHIPS

Women are like monkeys…they never let go of one branch until they have their hands firmly wrapped around another one.

Don’t you hate it when a girl you had a crush on over 10 years ago is still amazingly hot now? Why can’t she just get fat like everyone else?

THIS WEEK’S REASON WHY TERRORISTS WANNA KILL US

What on Earth would possess ESPN to celebrate the 15th anniversary of the infamous OJ Simpson white Ford Bronco chase as if it were Franco Harris’ “immaculate reception?” This was not a joyous moment in sports; it was a dude who killed his wife freaking out about getting caught, and doing it on live TV. This crap interrupted the Knicks playing in the NBA Finals who the fuck wants to revisit that?