Wednesday, January 21, 2009

The Inauguration (Morning in America)


I have seen a few inaugurations, but I’ve never lived one like I did yesterday, and I don’t think I’m alone. So many emotions felt at one time, in once place and all over the country…pretty incredible huh? Everyone is so excited in Washington DC right now, Chief Justice John Roberts messed up the words to the Presidential oath, and Ted Kennedy collapsed and had a seizure! But as I watched Barack Obama become the 44th President of the United States, all I could think of was history. So many things have occurred in my lifetime, but this is one of those that ranks right up there with the Yankees winning the World Series, the Berlin Wall coming down, the end of apartheid in South Africa, and the Olympics. Not that one is more significant than the other, but they brought me a lot of joy, and left me totally in awe. I don’t know if we realize yet what a profound step we have taken towards a better world, not because Obama is the second coming of Christ or anything, but because in electing him we have once again championed those values we have for way too long in this country just given superficial lip-service to. Equality, freedom, justice, you know…the American way. We have once again assumed the mantle of leadership in those categories, and it couldn’t have happened sooner. The last eight years have done a lot to diminish our place in the world. Yesterday we took a huge step in reclaiming that place. We are the first world power to democratically elect a black president…so…FUCK YOU FRANCE!!

As for the last eight years, what can I say that hasn’t already been said? Not one of those buffoons were competent enough to handle everything that went wrong during the last administration, least of all George W Bush, even he knew that. So much so that his leaving Washington DC yesterday and waving goodbye reminded me of Richard Nixon’s getaway after he resigned in 1974. Now bad as he was, and he was without a doubt the worst president of the last 100 years, America, and only America will have to hold itself accountable for re-electing him in 2004. There is no getting around that, and we are gonna have to look long and hard at ourselves and never allow this to happen again.
I don’t need time to put this joke of an administration into some type of historical perspective, I have complained about it enough and I’m tired, but I will leave you with this…of all the absolute disasters that happened on President Fuck Up’s watch, one of the worst was…yes that’s right…the fucking Red Sox won 2 World Series!
And Dick Cheney leaving town in that wheelchair couldn’t have been more fitting. That asshole looked so much like Dr. Evil I thought a cat was gonna jump on his lap. Even white people hate these two. Right now every racist living in a double-wide married to his 14 year old sister is yelling “You bastards fucked up so bad, people voted in a black guy!”

1.9 million people were at the inauguration, when have you ever seen that? It was almost as though those people got lost on the way to a Rolling Stones concert. Of all the voices desperate for change in this country, none spoke louder than the presence of so many Americans wanting to be a part of what really is, if I may quote Ronald Reagan, “Morning in America.”

So I guess the next question is, and let’s be honest we are all asking this, how did this country manage to get it’s head out of it’s fast-food expanded, non-exercising, over-medicated ass and elect the best man for the job? Cuz let’s face it, we only make up about 30% of the population, so it clearly wasn’t just the black and Latino vote that got him elected. I had been pondering this question since he was elected and I think I have the answer. At first I thought it was only because he was not actually a stereotypical black guy that whites are so afraid of. He was raised in Hawaii and Kansas, not South-central Los Angeles or Harlem. His father was from Kenya, and they have more in common with Europeans and Asians than they ever will with American blacks with the exception of the color of their skin. Before you start sending me hate mail, actually go to Africa or at least speak to someone from Africa and they will tell you the exact same thing.
So that might be one reason but it can’t be the only reason. How was he able to identify with the white voters? It was watching the inaugural balls on CNN that finally gave me the answers I sought…Obama is the only black guy other than Steve Urkel who can’t dance. FINALLY something he can’t do! I knew he couldn’t be as perfect as I thought! I’m so glad his kryptonite is nothing serious!

So…may God truly bless America!

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