Some Olympic Thoughts

 Some Olympic Thoughts

For those offended by the Opening Ceremony of the Paris 2024 Olympics, I already addressed how stupid you are on facebook, no need to embarrass you again here.

Who would have thought that in 2024, the most wholesome images of the Olympics would include Snoop Dogg and Flava Flav (who, in case you do not know, helped finance the US Women’s Water Polo team). How could anyone possible have guessed that Snoop showing up to events and commentating on them, even the ones he knew absolutely nothing about, would be exactly what the Olympics needed? And you know he must have lit a spliff with that Olympic torch cuz, come on, he’s still Snoop.

So, Suni Lee is my girlfriend, she just doesn’t know it yet.

The US Women’s Gymnastics Team was pretty much the story of week 1, and they should be. Nicknamed “The Golden Girls” due to their average age of 22.1 years being kinda old for the Olympics (can you imagine that?), they none the less dominated the games and walked away with the team gold, and 7 more medals combined. Way to go for a bunch of senior citizens. 

Simone Biles will now go down in history as one of the greatest Olympians in the world. And deservedly so. If you don’t know her records, look them up (talking to you JD Vance). Seriously anyone thinking that it is “weak” to take care of your mental health is the one who most needs help. To say that about an Olympic athlete representing your country is just such a douchebag move and typical of an incel who hates successful women because they rejected him in high school. 

Rebeca Andrade of Brazil is the future of women’s gymnastics. This is such a cool picture I really hope Jordan Chiles wins her appeal, I don’t want her to lose her medal because someone made a 4 second mistake correcting the bigger mistake made by a judge.

Then there was boxer Imane Khelif of Algeria, who had her gender questioned because she was beating her opponent so bad that she quit in the ring. OK so let’s keep this simple, if you were born with a vagina, do you know what that makes you? Yeah, a female. Not gonna get into a debate about it here, sorry. The problem stems from a test administered by the International Boxing Association that found anomalies in first her chromosomes (OK and how exactly did they test that?) then in high levels of testosterone (OK that could be due to steroids, not a penis). It should be noted that the IBA has been banned by the Olympics since 2019. This unintentionally sparked a debate amongst the ill-informed about LGBTQ+ rights and gender identity. Something that wasn’t even a controversy here. And let’s not forget that Ms. Khelif has lost 9 fights in her career, and she represents Algeria, a predominantly Muslim country that does not recognize LGBTQ+ rights, and would have stoned her in public before letting her compete as anything but a woman. She won the gold btw…

On to week 2

How awesome was it for The Dominican Republic to finally win a gold? With the most Dominican name in the history of Dominican names, Marileidy Paulino, won the 400m.

I love the Olympics. It is one of the few times that you can see other people root for their country and you smile because you know the story behind the athlete. However, why the fuck is rock climbing an Olympic sport?

Track and Field was, once again, dominated by the US, particularly the women’s side. Sydney McLaughlin-Levrone, Sha’Carri Richardson, and Gabby Thomas, along with the men’s team, totally represented, winning 34 medals. Gabby Thomas not only won 3 gold medals, but she is the finest example of what America has to offer. She also went to Harvard and has a master's degree in epidemiology. I’m sure the Trump/Vance ticket sees her as a DEI hire…

For someone who was born and raised in New York City, I was actually ok with breakdancing as a competition, even though I do not know if it will last. Both Gold medal winners deserved it, but could still benefit from watching the battle scene at the Roxy in “Beat Street.” Being a new sport however, did provide for some growing pains, and while I don't wanna pile up on the hate, “b-girl Raygun” from Australia really should have though it out more. I know she was the best qualifier in the region, but that performance was the whitest thing I’ve seen since raisins in potato salad…

Basketball’s results were predictable enough, but I must say the games did provide for some tense moments. People are saying that Steph Curry’s performance was worthy of an MVP. I just think he was the “designated non-partyer” the night before all those games that he excelled in (thanx HM).

Then there was the Closing ceremony which was uncharacteristically pretty cool. H.E.R. and Phoenix performed in Paris, while Snoop (who I guess got home on the space shuttle) Dre and The Red Hot Chili Peppers performed in LA. And then of course there was Tom Cruise. Who completed the handover of the Olympic flag by doing Tom Cruise-ish, Tom Cruise stuff. Seriously how is that dude still alive?

See you in LA.