9 9 9...The True Number of the Apocalypse 10/14/11

NEWS & CURRENT EVENTS

I’m actually enjoying watching the GOP Presidential debates, it kinda reminds me of a bunch of crazed, rabid squirrels trying to get out of a potato sack. However, when they cheer for people being put to death, cheer when that maniac Ron Paul says it’s OK for someone without a health care plan to be allowed to die, and most repulsive, they actually Boo a US Serviceman who just happens to be gay, then they should rename the debates to “The Search for the GOP Candidate Who Most Hates Humanity.” Seriously that one gay soldier in uniform has done more than Michelle Bachmann ever will to serve this country.

This last debate on Bloomberg was a bit of a let down though. Charlie Rose, the debate’s masterful moderator, decided to sit them all at a table rather than give them podiums. He knew that this would greatly reduce the opportunity to directly attack each other because they were sitting in such close proximity. However, it did greatly reduce "the crazy", which is what I always look forward to in a GOP debate. The only bright spot being Herman Cain repeating the phrase “nine, nine, nine” so many times I thought Charlie Rose was actually torturing Heinrich Himmler. 

If you eliminate Fox News from the equation, you will realize that the Teabaggers and the Occupy Wall Street protesters are actually complaining about the same things, the one striking difference is that one group has not been lobotomized by Rush Limbaugh or wearing stupid Colonial-era hats. And much like the term “socialized health care,” it looks like “class warfare” is now the new phrase being used to strike fear into the hearts of white, middle America. This is the phrase that Fox News uses when discussing the Occupy Wall Street protestors. By the way, I think they need a nickname, how about OWLS? That’s proper acronym right? Ok let’s start using it now…

During the Great Depression, this country elected its greatest president of the 20^th Century, Franklin Delano Roosevelt. So good was he, he was elected for 4 terms, and I’m sure that cannot be done without some Republican votes. In order to get the United States out of the Depression, FDR initiated a number of social programs commonly known as the “New Deal.” For his efforts, he was called a “traitor to his class” by rich Americans. This was the scary phrase of the day, and I’m sure FDR wore it proudly. My point is that scary phrases only serve to delay the inevitable; only serve to delay what is right. Maybe “Class Warfare” is not so bad, maybe it’s exactly the war we need right now. A class war in America is certainly more significant than a needless, illegal war in Iraq.

Is it me or is Donald Trump’s spray tan becoming almost as disturbing as his hair?

When was the last time you saw Christina Aguilera, Stevie Nicks and the planet Jupiter in the same room together? I think these three rather large entities are morphing into each other. Did you see her at that Michael Jackson Tribute Concert? For a minute there I thought Snookie fell violently into a vat of peroxide!

SPORTS

RIP to Oakland Raiders owner Al Davis, someone whose voice I can imitate perfectly if drunk enough and properly persuaded.

Tim Tebow should be the starting quarterback for the Denver Broncos, but not for the reasons you might think if you watch ESPN. Tebow needs to start because Kyle Orton has been ineffective, and maybe Tebow starting will stir things up a bit. Tebow has worked very hard to reinvent himself as a quarterback who plays within a more structured offense and stays in the pocket as his first option, and that is very commendable. You also cannot deny that he is without a doubt the greatest college football player ever, and deserves to continue to write his own story.

Having said that, this does not mean that you anoint him as the second coming of Christ, or John Elway (I’m not really sure who is more popular in Denver) and it does not mean that right now, he is a better quarterback than Orton or even Brady Quinn, who was actually the 2^nd string QB for the Broncos and was totally passed over when Tebow got the starting job.

The truth is, Tebow had every opportunity in training camp, and during the pre-season to compete for the starting job, and he was outplayed by both Orton and Quinn. Had the coaching staff even remotely believed that Tebow could do the job immideately they would have appeased the fans by giving them what they’ve wanted since last season on week 1, instead of now when the team is 1-4. This move is being made solely because Orton has not played well, and Elway (who is looking more and more like Gary Busey everyday) is not quite high as a kite on Tebow. I don’t know if this will translate to wins, but it will sure be interesting to watch.

THIS WEEK’S REASON WHY TERRORISTS WANNA KILL US

Want proof that we need to institute licenses and conduct some type of oversight into whether or not some people are qualified to be parents? How about these assholes…A couple in Massachusetts decided it would be a good idea to spend the day in a corn maze trying to find their way out. Sounds like fun until you realize these two brain tumors went in there with their 3 week old infant. After realizing that they were lost they decided to call 911 and were eventually rescued by a K9 unit. Surprisingly, they asked not to be identified…only Red Sox fans would do something so abysmally stupid.