First...Some Observations 10/21/11

OBSERVATIONS ON THE BRONX-BOUND 6 TRAIN

If the brown hair on top of your head totally does not match the graying, less brownish color on the sides, are you really under the impression that you are fooling anyone?

You would think that the worst thing a man in his 60’s could do in 2011 is dress in baggy jeans and a baseball cap as if he were a thug from the 90’s, right? True until you watch him discreetly take out his teeth and put them into a napkin, then into his pocket…

When her shoe laces match the cover of her cell phone and it’s not an accident, yeah…you’re in the ghetto.

So this dumb kid was wearing a t-shirt that read “The Die Young and Rich Club.” Dude, really? Maybe it has yet to dawn on you that you are on the 6 train, stupid. You are just as rich as the homeless guy drooling on you as he takes a nap. Go join his club.

OBSERVATIONS ON PARENTING

Ok so we all know it’s stupid to get a 3 year old Jordan’s if you are on welfare. But what if you are not on welfare, and the Jordan’s are on sale and actually cheaper than the plain NIKE’s? It’s ok then right?

I am sure that “Creeping Death” by Metallica is inappropriate for a 3 year old. But what if he really likes it and has yet to kill anyone? It’s ok then right?

NEWS & CURRENT EVENTS

So it looks like the Arab Spring continues its body count. Add Libyan maniac and borderline cross-dresser Mummar Qaddafi to the list of Arab dictators who have either been deposed or killed. This really doesn’t present any other problem that we have not addressed before as far as power vacuums in the region go, but what is novel is that this was the first Arab dictator killed by a guy wearing a Yankee cap…WIN! He certainly connected more times than Alex Rodriguez and Mark Teixiera did in the playoffs this year.   

And did I hear Obama right when he said that the troops were finally coming home from Iraq? Republicans were critical as usual. Not just because they are bitter obstructionists who hate anything good that Obama does, but they always seem to have a hard time with politicians who actually keep their campaign promises. It undermines the whole process!

THIS WEEK’S REASON WHY TERRORISTS WANNA KILL US

Actually we are killing them at such a fast rate I don’t think there will be anything left for this section of my blog anymore.

9 9 9...The True Number of the Apocalypse 10/14/11

NEWS & CURRENT EVENTS

I’m actually enjoying watching the GOP Presidential debates, it kinda reminds me of a bunch of crazed, rabid squirrels trying to get out of a potato sack. However, when they cheer for people being put to death, cheer when that maniac Ron Paul says it’s OK for someone without a health care plan to be allowed to die, and most repulsive, they actually Boo a US Serviceman who just happens to be gay, then they should rename the debates to “The Search for the GOP Candidate Who Most Hates Humanity.” Seriously that one gay soldier in uniform has done more than Michelle Bachmann ever will to serve this country.

This last debate on Bloomberg was a bit of a let down though. Charlie Rose, the debate’s masterful moderator, decided to sit them all at a table rather than give them podiums. He knew that this would greatly reduce the opportunity to directly attack each other because they were sitting in such close proximity. However, it did greatly reduce "the crazy", which is what I always look forward to in a GOP debate. The only bright spot being Herman Cain repeating the phrase “nine, nine, nine” so many times I thought Charlie Rose was actually torturing Heinrich Himmler. 

If you eliminate Fox News from the equation, you will realize that the Teabaggers and the Occupy Wall Street protesters are actually complaining about the same things, the one striking difference is that one group has not been lobotomized by Rush Limbaugh or wearing stupid Colonial-era hats. And much like the term “socialized health care,” it looks like “class warfare” is now the new phrase being used to strike fear into the hearts of white, middle America. This is the phrase that Fox News uses when discussing the Occupy Wall Street protestors. By the way, I think they need a nickname, how about OWLS? That’s proper acronym right? Ok let’s start using it now…

During the Great Depression, this country elected its greatest president of the 20^th Century, Franklin Delano Roosevelt. So good was he, he was elected for 4 terms, and I’m sure that cannot be done without some Republican votes. In order to get the United States out of the Depression, FDR initiated a number of social programs commonly known as the “New Deal.” For his efforts, he was called a “traitor to his class” by rich Americans. This was the scary phrase of the day, and I’m sure FDR wore it proudly. My point is that scary phrases only serve to delay the inevitable; only serve to delay what is right. Maybe “Class Warfare” is not so bad, maybe it’s exactly the war we need right now. A class war in America is certainly more significant than a needless, illegal war in Iraq.

Is it me or is Donald Trump’s spray tan becoming almost as disturbing as his hair?

When was the last time you saw Christina Aguilera, Stevie Nicks and the planet Jupiter in the same room together? I think these three rather large entities are morphing into each other. Did you see her at that Michael Jackson Tribute Concert? For a minute there I thought Snookie fell violently into a vat of peroxide!

SPORTS

RIP to Oakland Raiders owner Al Davis, someone whose voice I can imitate perfectly if drunk enough and properly persuaded.

Tim Tebow should be the starting quarterback for the Denver Broncos, but not for the reasons you might think if you watch ESPN. Tebow needs to start because Kyle Orton has been ineffective, and maybe Tebow starting will stir things up a bit. Tebow has worked very hard to reinvent himself as a quarterback who plays within a more structured offense and stays in the pocket as his first option, and that is very commendable. You also cannot deny that he is without a doubt the greatest college football player ever, and deserves to continue to write his own story.

Having said that, this does not mean that you anoint him as the second coming of Christ, or John Elway (I’m not really sure who is more popular in Denver) and it does not mean that right now, he is a better quarterback than Orton or even Brady Quinn, who was actually the 2^nd string QB for the Broncos and was totally passed over when Tebow got the starting job.

The truth is, Tebow had every opportunity in training camp, and during the pre-season to compete for the starting job, and he was outplayed by both Orton and Quinn. Had the coaching staff even remotely believed that Tebow could do the job immideately they would have appeased the fans by giving them what they’ve wanted since last season on week 1, instead of now when the team is 1-4. This move is being made solely because Orton has not played well, and Elway (who is looking more and more like Gary Busey everyday) is not quite high as a kite on Tebow. I don’t know if this will translate to wins, but it will sure be interesting to watch.

THIS WEEK’S REASON WHY TERRORISTS WANNA KILL US

Want proof that we need to institute licenses and conduct some type of oversight into whether or not some people are qualified to be parents? How about these assholes…A couple in Massachusetts decided it would be a good idea to spend the day in a corn maze trying to find their way out. Sounds like fun until you realize these two brain tumors went in there with their 3 week old infant. After realizing that they were lost they decided to call 911 and were eventually rescued by a K9 unit. Surprisingly, they asked not to be identified…only Red Sox fans would do something so abysmally stupid.

All My Rowdy Friends Will Be Staying Home 10/7/11

Imagine living in the time of Albert Einstein or Ben Franklin, or the man he has been compared to too many times, Thomas Edison. Imagine living in a time where one person’s ideas change how you do things forever. I remember a time when phones didn’t take pictures, much less leave the house; you could never carry your whole music library in your pocket, and computers were slow and took up a great deal of space. Steve Jobs changed all of that, and we were present to see his achievements change our lives. Much as we take the light bulb for granted, future generations will do the same with the ipod, iphone and so many other innovations born from the mind of this true American visionary.

At a time where American products seemed to be losing their place in the world due to how second rate they have become, Apple was still revered in the rest of the World and was number one in its field; A subtle reminder of how great American ideas still are, and can continue to be if we just set our minds to it. However, did you see those people in Hong Kong actually bowing to a makeshift altar in front of an Apple store there? That was a bit creepy. I don’t know if we will ever see another Steve Jobs, but the fact that we were able to see just one in our lifetime was quite a privilege.

Look, I’m all for protesting Wall Street’s exploitation and naked greed. And not to sound like a conspiracy theorist, but this protest is growing everyday and is not getting much coverage from the “lamestream” media. Labor Unions have now endorsed, and even joined in the protests. Over 800 arrests have been made and it looks like they are not going anywhere soon. The problem is that no further steps have been taken, and these protesters look like a bunch of jobless weed smokers with no real agenda except to complain.

This is why this protest must now turn into a movement. And a movement needs direction. They say they want change? OK then why not start by getting on your iphones not just to video tape police action, but to call your congressman and tell him that if Obama’s jobs bill is not passed, they will not get your vote. And while you are at it, let congress know that you will watch their every move, and you will remember any obstructionist, petty action aimed at undermining progress and continuing the status quo. And if you don’t know who your congressman is, then get off your ass and find the fuck out. This way you see, you don’t look like just another asshole protesting just for the sake of protesting.

"Occupy Wall Street"can be a real instrument of change of it has some direction, so get some. Start with a table and a stack of voter registration forms. Then do some research on who and what you are actually protesting. How many bank CEO’s got bonuses after their banks got a bailout? Find out and make them famous. The Manhattan District Attorney’s office is only a few blocks north of where the protests are, get over there and demand an investigation into the mortgage fraud committed by these bailed out banks. It's good to have balls, now get some brains.

THIS WEEK’S REASON WHY TERRORISTS WANNA KILL US  

Just in case you were wondering whether or not Hank Williams Jr. actually was a redneck moron, here’s something that will help you out…

ESPN decided to no longer use his song to introduce Monday Night Football, because of a reference he made comparing Barack Obama and John Boehner to Hitler and the Israeli Prime Minister playing golf. The joke wasn’t funny and such extreme examples were not needed in order to make a point, but don’t let that take the redneck out of the boy. Now the fact that ESPN thought they could somehow extract political correctness from Hank Williams Jr. is beyond me, this isn’t exactly Tom Morello or Bono.

But Williams makes it worse by saying that by parting ways with him, ESPN has, and I quote, “stepped on the Toes of The First Amendment Freedom of Speech, so therefore Me, My Song, and All My Rowdy Friends are OUT OF HERE. It’s been a great run." See this is what happens when people expect a valid Constitutionally based response from…Hank Williams Jr. Someone needs to tell him that the 1^st Amendment applies to government entities, not private companies like ESPN. And that the network can hire and fire whomever it wants.

Funny how all of Hank Williams Jr.’s supporters now want to boycott ESPN and Monday Night Football. Sounds like an exercise in their right to choose, just like ESPN exercised its right to choose.  God bless America