Finally, A Debt Ceiling Agreement We Can All Criticize 8/5/11

Whose brilliant fucking idea was it to remake "Conan the Barbarian?" Was there some outcry from the parent's basement dwelling comic book crowd I was unaware of? 

NEWS & CURRENT EVENTS

Thank God the legislature finally came to an agreement on the debt ceiling that we can all criticize. For a minute there I thought things were gonna get ugly. There were those that were calling for the “Fail Safe” option of ending this crisis once and for all, and that would have been an executive order by way of the 14th Amendment to the Constitution. Section 4 of the 14th Amendment states: “The validity of the public debt of the United States, authorized by law, including debts incurred for payments of pensions and bounties for services in suppressing insurrection or rebellion, shall not be questioned.” Essentially, Democrats are arguing that since the "public debt" cannot be questioned, then the debt ceiling itself is unconstitutional. An odd place to be in legally, but the strategy would have been to invoke the clause then let the courts figure it out.

This was supposedly looked into by White House counsel, and President Obama for some reason was reluctant to do it. Maybe rightfully so, but maybe this would have been the only way to, as Sen. Chris Coons said “save us from ourselves.”

Needless to say, people who wanted to see our financial credibility collapse then blame the black president, people like Michele Bachmann had called this idea, and I quote, “unconstitutional.” Uhh…Michele, we already know that you are not that bright, have no real knowledge of American history and are incapable of checking facts, but you cannot call something unconstitutional if it’s actually in the Constitution. She went on to say in the same interview that this would give spending powers to the President that is reserved for congress.

President Obama, I’m not on your legal team, but maybe I should be. You should look to the streets a bit more for guys who are poor hungry and smart instead of Ivy league brats who just want your administration on their resume.

Here’s how you explain this: First, you tell Bachmann and all these other Teabaggers to invest in a dictionary so that they can establish that “spending” power is not being taken away here. “Paying” power however, is a different issue. Spending is when your kid goes to a store and looks at a shirt, or in this case, two stupid wars that have lead us nowhere, and tax breaks for the rich, and uses your credit card to take it out of the store. Now the decision on how to spend the money was made by congress right? Ok, but that still has to be paid for. How that debt is to be paid is completely open to interpretation, and the only clause in the Constitution as to the “how” and not the “what” is in the 14^th Amendment. Congress does not get its credit card taken away, it still decides what it wants to buy, but how it is to be paid for is something else entirely.

This agreement really pleases no one, but it’s nice to see that the Teabagger lunatics are not totally running the asylum just yet. Seriously, even Gabrielle Giffords got out of her rehabilitation to vote on the plan, and she has a bullet in her head.  

THIS WEEK’S REASON WHY THE WORLD IS LAUGHING AT US

Did you hear about this exhibit in San Francisco of photographs and literature by Gertrude Stein? Apparently there was a lesbian couple strolling through the gallery holding hands and they were asked to leave because it was making other patrons “uncomfortable.” Really? In San Francisco? a town that elected the first openly gay politician in Harvey Milk over 30 years ago this is happening? At an exhibt celebrating the work of a lesbian? Look, for you physicists out there, let me put this in an equation…

 Gertrude Stein + San Francisco = Gay to the 10^th Power > Liberace in 1972

Seriously if I kicked every pair of women who are affectionate towards each other out of my house, there would be no one left to take turns giving me my morning bj.