It's Always Funny Till Someone Gets Hurt 3/10/11

NEWS & CURRENT EVENTS

I don’t know about you, but I kinda stopped laughing at that whole Charlie Sheen thing. It’s really not that funny anymore. Now it’s just sad. Usually this is something I would continue to mercilessly make fun of, but even I’m inspired to be a bit sensitive, and I’m just about un-inspirable.

One of the rarest things that any so-called journalist can be these days is impartial, which is why the loss of Pulitzer Prize-winning Washington Post political columnist David Broder could not have come at a worse time. Intelligent, and even-handed, the “Dean of the White House Press Corps” gained prominence in 1973 for his clear and compelling explanation of the Watergate scandal that lead to President Richard Nixon’s resignation.
I’ll miss him most on "Meet the Press."

And how about this Peter King huh? The Republican US Representative of New York held hearings today on the radicalization of Muslims in the US. According to stats pulled from the reliable source known as his ass, 85 percent of the leaders of American mosques have extremist views and Muslims often do not cooperate with law enforcement. How can this man be this out of touch and not realize how this will even further alienate the law abiding Muslim community? I am glad to see however, that King has taken such a strong stance against terrorism, I mean it’s not like he has ever endorsed a terrorists group himself, like the IRA or anything. Now he has been quoted as saying that there are no significant parallels between the IRA and Al-Qaeda, but I think both being called terrorists groups is pretty significant parallel, as do the hundreds of Irish civilians who have been killed or injured by their hand. And you know what else? Bono of U2 thinks they are terrorists, and I get all my political opinions from Bono, so shame on you Peter King!

SPORTS

As I do every March…”It’s Tournament time Baaaby!!!” So the Tar Heels beat the Ducks, I mean, Duke yet again, and still can’t get above them in the polls. Typical Blue Devil ass-kissing. My number one seeds so far would be Kansas (who always disappoints me), Ohio State, Pittsburgh (one of about 10 schools from the Big East who should make it in this year), and after the week they have had and if they win the ACC Tournament, Carolina baby! I know I’m being a fan, but they have come along way since giving the starting job to Kendall Marshall and letting him run the offense.
As for the Big East, I think that my alma mater, St. John’s, is proof of what you can do when you have a lot of seniors and a good head coach. I know they barely got by Rutgers thanks to a horrible call, but they have not been ranked this high in ages. Then there is Notre Dame, who also has not been relevant in basketball for a while, and here they are with the Big East player of the year in Ben Hansbrough, yeah Tyler’s brother. This has been a great year for the Big East conference.

THIS WEEK’S REASON WHY TERRORISTS WANNA KILL US

I think I just saw the dumbest commercial I have ever seen, and during Women’s History Month, too. Have you seen that Bud Light ad where an alien race of hot chicks comes down in a spacecraft and offers to trade Bud Light if the men agree to leave with them? Needless to say hot women and a lifetime supply of beer will get any man to leave the Earth, but in the end, the women all cheer and shout “Here We Go!” as if to celebrate the fact that the men are gone and they have a lot of beer. OK do you femenazi morons really think you got the better deal? Is this the message? I hope the aliens threw in a few warp speed powered vibrators and you all enjoy going down on each other.