NEWS & CURRENT EVENTS
So how did that Presidential address concerning the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico impress you? He talked tough and seemed to be very in charge of the crisis, which is what makes the fact that oil is still spilling even more disappointing. Unlike his predecessor, who was legally retarded, Barack Obama is engaged and trying every innovative idea to solve the problem. The problem is just too great. And it amazes me how Republican assholes, particularly from Texas, which makes them even bigger assholes because they are putting oil company profits over the interests of their own citizens affected by this disaster, are saying that the response should not be aimed at changing energy policies. Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison, R-Texas said, "I am concerned the administration is attempting to capitalize on public outrage over the spill in order to push through a cap-and-trade bill that will significantly raise energy prices for all Americans and add more burdens on businesses. Right now, the president's number one priority needs to be keeping the jobs in the energy sector from going overseas and restoring the Gulf of Mexico." Maybe this asshole is unaware that the only jobs going overseas are the ones her corporate cronies are sending there. Seriously how is it that these shitheads are consistently on the side contrary to the needs of the people yet they still get elected? A new energy policy is exactly what we need. Even retarded ex-president George W Bush admitted that we were addicted to oil.But the biggest Texas asshole has to be Rep. Joe Barton, who participated in today’s hearings
with BP CEO Tony Stark, who is also Iron Man, or is it Hayward? I forget. Anyway this prick called the $20 billion recovery fund promised by BP a “shakedown” by the government. Never mind that it was never asked for, but offered by BP. Given the damage they have caused, not offering to pay for it would be a bit rude, wouldn’t it? Does this idiot know that a portion of this money is going to his constituents that were hurt by the spill? It is so easy to be angry at these greedy fucktards I was actually surprised that these hearings were as mild as they were.SPORTS
Once again, are you like me? Do you have World Cup fever? It’s easy to catch when the whole world is watching. So far both the teams I’m rooting for have done well. US tied England which no one could have predicted and Argentina won its first game, then trounced South Korea in its second game. Look, Gonazalo Higuain’s hat trick (that’s 3 goals in one game for the futbol challenged) was amazing, but it was the set ups by the greatest player in the world, Lionel Messi that won the game. I don’t know what type of celebration Diego Maradona is preparing if they win it all, I just hope that crazy fucker keeps his clothes on!I thought Spain had the best team this year but they actually got beat by Switzerland. Now I saw two black guys on the Swiss team but I have yet to see any black people in Switzerland.
SAVE THE VUVUZELA!!! That annoying buzzing sound that
you hear during World Cup matches is a traditional African horn that is a staple at African soccer games. Something that FIFA knew when it selected South Africa to host the World Cup. Yeah it certainly is irritating for the first few minutes, but you get used to it. Which is why formal protests seeking to have the Vuvuzela banned are ridiculous. A player from team Argentina (who will remain nameless) complained that he couldn’t hear his team mates or his coach due to the noise. Dude, come on, it’s a horn not a culster bomb. I love Argentina, once again, along with the US they are the team I root for, but they really can be so full of shit sometimes.Do you think it’s true that Kim Jong Il is using mind control to communicate with the North Korean team? The coach believes it, so why shouldn’t we all? They did score a goal against Brazil, and in a country where they seem to be living on their own planet, who knows?
LOVE & RELATIONSHIPS
Wow, how much of a hateful skank must you be when Justin Bieber fans are sending you death threats just for hanging out with him? Personally, I can tell you that being 16 and too mature for your age does have many drawbacks, one being that you realize that you are surrounded by morons your own age, and in some cases, morons a few years older than you. One of the benefits however, is how interesting you seem to older women. So if Kim Kardashian wants to bang you kid, you have my blessing. Just remember not to videotape it. And remember this is not exactly wifey material, as she is only famous for having a big ass and making sex tapes. So like my dad said the first time he let me drive his car, “have fun, just be careful.”MUSIC & ENTERTAINMENT
What happens when you plan a free concert at the South Street Seaport with Drake on the same bill as…wait for it….Hanson? A riot of course!
I can’t get a song out of my head. “’59 Sound” by The Gaslight Anthem. It’s a cool song but it sounds so much like The Replacements I’m surprised they haven’t fired their original guitar player, have him die of an overdose, then subsequently fire their drummer then kill his replacement.
THIS WEEK’S REASON WHY TERRORISTS WANNA KILL US
The NAACP has done a lot of great work over the years, but come on…boycotting a fucking Hallmark card? I guess things on the racial front must be great if you are making an issue of this.
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