The JB Random Report 6/11/10

2 Things I learned in college…my Social Security number and 101 Creative Ways to Keep Beer Cold.

NEWS & CURRENT EVENTS

Wow…White House Senior (very Senior) Correspondent Helen Thomas really pissed off the wrong Jews…Hearst Newspapers announced her immediate retirement, not because she is 89 years old, but mostly due to these insightful comments she made, to a Rabbi no less, on May 27. Rabbi David F. Nesenoff of the website RabbiLive asked Thomas if she had any comments on Israel. To which she so intelligently replied:"Tell them to get the hell out of Palestine. Remember, these people are occupied. And it's their land. It's not German, it's not Poland." When Nesenoff asked Thomas where the Israelis should go, she said they should "go home" to Germany, Poland and the U.S. Bad move in the Age if the Internet. The video went all over the world, and a brilliant career was ended rather abruptly and unceremoniously. The 89-year-old Thomas, who is of Lebanese descent, was the first female member of the White House Correspondents' Association and the prestigious Gridiron Club. Beginning with John F Kennedy, she has covered the administrations of 10 U.S. presidents, and I’m guessing the American Revolution and Civil War. Look, what she said was boneheaded to say the least, but I hate to see so many people that she has outwitted over the years now take cheap shots at her:

Assholes like Ari Fleisher, the former spokesman for retarded President George W. Bush, who she used to totally own during press briefings, said she should be fired. "As someone who is Jewish, and as someone who worked with her and used to like her, I find this appalling." Really? Not because her questions exposed both you and the administration you worked for as incompetents?
This was Sarah Palin’s Twitter on June 5th. "Helen Thomas press pals condone racist rant? Heaven forbid 'esteemed' press corps represent society's enlightened elite; Rest of us choose truth," Truth? Is she really that fucking stupid to think she represents truth? And she is braindead, who taught her how to use a computer?
Joe Klein of Time magazine called Thomas' words "odious." He said Thomas should no longer be allowed to sit in the front row in the White House Press Room, where she is an honorary fixture. That voice that said “Thank you Mr. President” at the end of every briefing was hers. "I don't see any reason why the president, Robert Gibbs or any other representative of the government should feel any obligation to take her questions." While I strongly believe in her right to say whatever she wants, in this case I’m afraid Klein’s comments make the most sense. No one is going to give her questions any credibility anymore, it really was time for her to go.
And the hits just kept on coming for Thomas as over the weekend, she lost her speaking agency, Nine Speakers, and a high school in Bethesda, Md., canceled plans for Thomas to deliver a speech at its graduation ceremonies. My favorite Helen Thomas story was an interview she gave where she was asked if she had ever said that George W Bush was the worst president we have ever had, to which she replied, “I never said that on record, but it certainly did get out didn’t it?” I’ll miss that batty old lady, as will the White House Press Room.

SPORTS

I feel the same way about the World Cup that I always did, I'm a fan, and I can’t believe that no English speaking station even bothered to cover the Opening Ceremonies of the most popular sport in the world. Speaking of which, wouldn’t the opening ceremonies have been more energetic had they been done at night? Remember the 2008 Olympics? Here’s something I wrote 4 years ago for the last World Cup in Germany in 2006. I still believe this today…

Are you like me? Do you have World Cup fever?

In a subway station in Queens there is a barber shop that caters to everyone with an opinion about something, which means that pretty much everyone is welcome. I've been going there for too many years to count. 2 weeks ago, while sitting in a waiting chair I caught the end of the Argentina vs. Serbia-Montenegro World Cup match. It was a merciless beating by Argentina 6-0 who incidentally, has been my favorite World Cup team since 1986. A Colombian guy who works at the place started talking to me about International teams when a man came to the door, noticing the end of the game and asked what the score was, The man was Croatian and he was asking the Colombian, both of them communicating in broken English, but making every effort to communicate with each other. This barber shop summit meeting of international soccer fans made me think of two things; One was that Soccer really is the most important sport in the world. There it was bringing people together here in the USA. In Africa, if the Ivory Coast can call a cease-fire in their bitter civil war so that everyone there can appreciate their team playing in the World Cup, then soccer is doing the one thing few sports can...it's saving lives.
Second, The United States may have a myriad of flaws, but it is still the greatest country in the world. There I was, observing two men from the opposite sides of the world, immigrants that would have absolutely nothing to say to each other attempting to communicate in a language that is their second, to know a soccer score. Their communication made possible by soccer, determined assimilation, and the United States being the land of opportunity for all. I assure you, all three parties were made richer in that small exchange in a subway barber shop. If everyone in the US believed that it was OK to not learn English, then this exchange never would have taken place. Learning English does one thing that these so-called pro immigrants groups cannot do - It can bring all immigrants together in their chosen country of residence.

THIS WEEK’S REASON WHY TERRORISTS WANNA KILL US

The exportation of an obviously very disturbed Whitney Houston. Every European nation she performs in immediately cancels our trade agreements. I was thinking of putting up a picture but the image is disturbing…oh what the Hell, that never stopped me before!