The JB Random Report 11/11/09

NEWS & CURRENT EVENTS

Can you believe that it was 20 years ago this week that the Berlin Wall came down? Do you remember where you were? I was still in grade school and it seemed that every week there was a new world event to talk about. What an incredible time that was. Tiananmen Square happened just a few months before, and a few weeks after the wall came down, in the beginning of 1990, Nelson Mandela would be released from a South African prison, apartheid being on its way to just a stain on history. It was an amazing time to be alive really.

Iran finally got around to actually charging three Americans detained on the border with Iraq of espionage on Monday, the first signal that they intend to put them on trial. The fact that these backward assholes are using human beings as bargaining chips is repulsive, and the lack of outrage in the rest of the world is further proof that we have a long way to go before restoring our position internationally.
Shane Bauer, Sarah Shourd and Josh Fattal, all graduates of the University of California, Berkeley, were arrested July 31 after straying over the Iranian border from northern Iraq. The U.S. government and their families say there were on a hiking vacation and crossed accidentally. Not hard to believe since none of them have military backgrounds, they were all caught together, and really how much of Iran’s government secrets are hidden on the border with Iraq?

Does anyone really wanna see Aerosmith with another lead singer? Two words…”Journey” and “guy they found in a Kareoke bar” Ok that was more wasn’t it? Anyway Steven Tyler, for reasons I have yet to fathom, has decided to leave the band.

SPORTS

As I still bask in the glow that is the World Series win for the greatest franchise in the history of sports, I couldn’t help but noticing asshole extraordinaire Jay Mariotti kissing Alex Rodriguez’ ass last week, after he had trashed him for so long. I guess winning really does have unanticipated rewards. Congratulations to Mark Teixiera and Derek Jeter for their Gold Glove winning performances in the field this year, guess those "range" problems were not a factor this year, sorry haters. A-Rod would have gotten one at 3rd base had he played the whole year.
Am I the only one who finds Nick Swisher’s overbite a bit disturbing? Let me give you an image…Think Billy Bob Thornton in “Sling Blade” drooling out, “like them French fried taters…umm hummm” There…now aren’t you scared shitless?

So it only took Allen Iverson one game to disrupt an already awful Memphis Grizzlies team. What made anyone think that he would ever be content coming off the bench?

ASSHOLE OF THE WEEK

It’s a tie…


Sen. David Vitter (R-La.), last week this asshole had a heated exchange with one of his own constituents at a town hall meeting. She questioned him after he voted against, I’m serious, against, a bill that would protect rape victim’s rights to take their attackers to court. The bill stems from a 2007 case in which a Halliburton employee accused several co-workers of raping her when she was working for the company in Iraq.
Her employment contract specifically required her to settle her complaint in arbitration rather than in criminal court. Sen. Al Franken (D-Minn.) (yeah that Al Franken) sponsored an amendment to the defense spending bill to block federal funding from government contractors with similar employment contracts. Vitter joined 29 Republicans in opposing the measure, which passed the Senate 68 to 30 in October. Republicans at the time said it would give Congress too much influence over Pentagon contracts. I’m sure rape victims who vote think that type of oversight would be OK. Seriously what the fuck is wrong with these people that they are willing to vote against rape victims for the sake of partisanship?

Joe Jackson. What type of asshole abuses his son so badly that he disfigures himself with plastic surgery in a disturbing display of self loathing, then dies due to an overdose of prescription drugs and painkillers? Then after his death, how can you have the audacity to act surprised when he totally cuts you out of his will? Further, how big of an asshole must you be when you whine about only getting 15,000 a month from your dead son’s estate, so you commence a frivolous lawsuit to gain control of his money? This is a despicable man who continues to abuse a talented but severely flawed human being even after his death. I rarely think anyone in the legal profession is worthy of praise, but Judge Mitchell Beckloff should be commended for dismissing this bullshit suit.

HAVE A REFLECTIVE, PEACEFUL VETERANS DAY