I HATE when something like this happens the day after I put up the JB Random Report…OSLO - President Barack Obama won the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize last Friday for "his extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between peoples," the Norwegian Nobel Committee said, citing his outreach to the Muslim world and attempts to curb nuclear proliferation.
Needeless to say, Republican assholes still refuse to stand by their own president saying, and I can’t fucking believe this, “Why should Obama get one so early in his Presidency when Ronald Reagan didn’t get one?” (Let me first count to ten) Ooooook... let’s address that now shall we? If anyone can tell me what Reagan did to bring peace to the world feel free to leave it in the comment section. Other than bluffing an already crumbling Soviet Union into believing in a space-based missle defense system that didn’t exist, please tell me what he did to bring humanity and peace to the world. He bluffed. So does everyone in that World Poker Championship, should we give them Nobel Prizes as well? I guess for Republicans, illegally and covertly selling weapons to the Contras in Central America while negotiating with Iran, a country that held Americans hostage, is a sign of peaceful diplomacy.
The Nobel committee praised Obama's creation of "a new climate in international politics." In other words, “Let’s spray the whole world with a big can of ‘Bush-Away’”
Obama is the third sitting president to win the prize, joining President Theodore Roosevelt who won the award in 1906, President Woodrow Wilson in 1919, and the fourth President over all, Jimmy Carter in 2002.
This award however, does present Obama with new challenges. This is a wartime President fighting two unpopular wars in two theaters. Yesterday he very quietly approved 13,000 additional troops for the war in Afghanistan, a necessary step to winning the war sure, but hardly the acts of a Nobel Peace Prize winner. He is going to have to watch his every step in the international community now, but being the first black President of the United States, I’m sure he is used to that.
Every once in a while, something surprises me, and I want you to know that I am shocked…totally shocked at the fact that I actually give a shit about the J-E-T-S Jets. Look Jet fans, you can’t freak out about a last minute loss to the Miami Dolphins. The defense had a bit of a brain cramp; that does not mean that the season is totally lost. They are 3-2, and it’s only week 6, so relax. Sit down, have a beer, watch old films of Willie Joe Namath and for goodness sake stop cutting yourselves or we will have to put these restraints on you again.
A three man rotation for the Yankees in the ALCS? Not a bad idea I guess. CC Sabathia is a durable pitcher so he can pitch three games if the series goes to seven. Still the LA Angels are one of the few teams that have a good record against the Yankees over the past few seasons, so this is going to be an interesting series, the key being throwing strikes at a very patient Angels line up that at one time had all nine hitters hitting over .300.
THIS WEEK’S REASON WHY TERRORISTS WANNA KILL US
I hate insurance companies, and I have never advocated for revolution, but here is an open message to the Black Panther party…I know that the revolution will not be televised, but instead of starting with the government, can you please overthrow the insurance companies? Let me give you a brief medical history of a young man named Alex Lange. He has never smoked, drank alcohol, or been diagnosed with a chronic disease. His diet is extrordinarily healthy, consisting only of organic nutrients. He has been to the doctor a few times for checkups only, and yet was denied insurance coverage by Rocky Mountain Health Plans, his excellent health record and young age notwithstanding. You see, Alex is only 4 months old, and according to insurance company growth charts, he's obese. Ok, say it with me…You’ve gotta be fucking kidding!
These assholes picked the wrong chubby baby to mess with because Alex's dad, Bernie Lange, works at a local news station, and he recently went public with the story. Dr. Doug Speedie, the Insurance company’s medical director was quoted in the Denver Post saying, "If health care reform occurs, underwriting will go away. We do it because everybody else in the industry does it." Well thank you for making it easier for Congress to vote on this issue. There is some good news…After the story broke, Rocky Mountain Health issued a press release that said it has reversed its position and corrected its underwriting guidelines and "will now provide health plan coverage for healthy infants, regardless of their weight." Well that’s so nice of them. We should all thank them for not allowing children to risk their lives for the company’s profit margin.