The JB Random Report End of The Year Awards 2024

 For any one else looking at this year asking what the fuck...

NEWS STORY OF THE YEAR – The 2024 United States Presidential Election

History will ask us all about this moment, and it will hold us all accountable. About a week after the election, I was just as scared and confused as the next American citizen with a brain, I decided to write about it, and it is in the blog right under this one, so a lot of what I think can also be seen there. I am as emotionally exhausted as I am disappointed, so just read that.

TV SHOW OF THE YEAR – “The Bear” Hulu  

I was, as always, late to this party. But what a great DJ this party had. So I binge watched all the seasons, including the last one. It was an easy thing to do when the soundtrack includes The Replacements, Nine Inch Nails and obscure Rolling Stones tracks.

ASSHOLE(S) OF THE YEAR – A Tie. Jeff Bezos Chairman Amazon.com and owner of the Washington Post. Sean O’ Brien, President Teamsters Union

Maybe I should have changed the name to cowards of the year, but assholes may fit. Both these men decided that endorsing a candidate in this year’s election was, what exactly? Too risky? Well when you have some power, can you not use it as a platform? Look at Elon Musk, he just bought a president, and now we know how he thinks. Is that what you guys were afraid of, the public finding out what you think? Or was it something else? Incidentally, the reason Musk didn’t win this is because we always knew he was an asshole, but Bezos and O’Brien really surprised me with their cowardly stance.

The Washington Post has been one of the most respectable newspapers for decades, but obviously the days of Woodward and Bernstein are long behind us. Speaking truth to power is at least part of what journalism is supposed to be. The Post had a chance to do so, and it totally squandered it by not endorsing a presidential candidate in 2024. “Democracy Dies in Darkness” is their tagline. Too bad Bezos, the paper’s owner, has decided not to read it.

The Teamsters president is an even bigger surprise, and an equal disgrace. How does the biggest labor union in the United States, with over one million members not endorse a presidential candidate? Well, according to O’Brien, it is because 60% of the members were endorsing Trump. OK then, have some balls and endorse Trump! But O’Brien didn’t do that.

So why is this such a crime? Simple reason. Both these men knew what the right thing was to do, if not, both of them would have just endorsed the criminal fascist draft dodger. Instead of standing up to their readers and members, and going on record on the right side of history, they caved. And when you have such a large platform, not doing the right thing is unforgiveable, and in this case, may be irreparable. 

PERSON OF THE YEAR – E. Jean Carroll. Writer, Activist and Sexual Assault Survivor

Time Magazine decided to select her rapist as their Person of the Year, so I thought it would be appropriate to counter.

Look, I understand Time Magazine’s criteria for selecting those they give this honor to, and it is not always gonna be a choir boy/girl, but still, can’t these people read the fucking room? If this were the age of print media, how do you think his victim would feel every time she walks by a newsstand and sees her attacker on the front page?

And it is not that I am dismissing impact as a factor in your decision, I'm not a child, but still...didn’t you people learn anything from your own history? Remember the winner you bestowed your glorious title on in 1938? Well, here’s a reminder, and yea, it didn’t end well for him, or us. Your cover emboldens any self absorbed sociopath into believing they are more than they are, something that in today's world, just as the last one, could have devastating consequences. 

MOVIE/DOCUMENTARY OF THE YEAR – “Yacht Rock: A Dockumentary”

Once again I was too fucking busy to go to the movies much this year, but I found this really enjoyable. Particularly the backstory of Christopher Cross, and the part at the end where Donald Fagen tell the filmmaker to go fuck himself.

ALBUM OF THE YEAR – “Songs of a Lost World” – The Cure.

I think I have established my credibility insofar as listening to new music is concerned. I have introduced many of you to new bands, and my music awards section usually reflects that. However, what I am into is rarely mainstream, so no Grammy nominees will probably make my list. That being said, this album is everything Cure fans would want a Cure album to be in 2024. And from what I understand, there are a few more in the tank. It is current sounding, without changing the musical dynamic of the band. I really do not need to hear “Friday I’m in Love” ever again, but I’d love to hear more of “Alone” or “Endsong” a few more times from this collection. 

COOLEST SONG BY A MAJOR BAND OR ACT THAT WASN’T A BIG HIT – “Mustang” – Kings of Leon.

I certainly expect a lot of accusations of favoritism, but isn’t favoritism what lists like this are about anyway? This was a banger on what was a pretty cool album by this band but mostly forgotten by mainstream media.

COOLEST SONG OF THE YEAR – “Supersad” – Suki Waterhouse.

I knew nothing of this artist sans her name, because she was the Indie artist of the moment and everyone was kissing her ass from Park Slope to…well…a few blocks away from Park Slope. So imagine how pleasantly surprised I was when I heard how tight this song was.

COOLEST ACT OF THE YEAR – Jungle.

They’ve been around since 2013, but you are just hearing them now.  What do you mean you do not know who I’m talking about? Sure you do. Never heard of them, you say? Yes, you have, their music is all over every commercial you watch on television. But that’s not why they are cool.

SPORTS TEAM OF THE YEAR – The United States Women’s Olympic Gymnastics Team

 Nicknamed “The Golden Girls” due to their average age of 22.1 years being kinda old for the Olympics (can you imagine that?), they none the less dominated the games and walked away with the team gold, and 7 more medals combined. Way to go for a bunch of senior citizens.

ATHLETE OF THE YEAR – Caitlin Clark, WNBA

 Yup, I’m jumping on this bandwagon, but before you get at me, ask yourself why there is a bandwagon in the first place.  So let’s start at the beginning of the year, shall we? In February while she was in her last year at Iowa, she broke the NCAA all-time scoring record held for over 50 years by the great “Pistol” Pete Maravich. Then in March she led her team to their second straight NCAA Championship game. A game that drew a record breaking 18.9 million viewers, more than the Men’s championship game. No other women’s Championship game even comes close. 

Then, gets drafted to the WNBA by the Indiana Fever, where she is making about $76k a year, but secured a $28 million endorsement deal with Nike. Fever games were the most viewed WNBA games by far, and their home attendance rose by 54%, not to mention the away games moved from small gyms to arenas to accommodate fans that came to see her. So, hate all you want Angel Reese, the numbers don’t lie.

 

DEAD PERSON OF THE YEAR – James Earl Carter Jr., 39^th President of the United States.

 And it wasn’t even close. I was watching football when the story broke, I thought I was dreaming. There is so much this man did to make the world a better place, but what is even more remarkable, most of it was done after his presidency. 

But let’s begin at the beginning. First, not a shot was fired by the US while he was president. We had a peaceful 4 years, although not an easy 4 years. Yes, peace between Israel and Egypt was achieved, but the country was still in bad shape. The economy was bad and his statesmanlike nature was tested by the Soviets invading Afghanistan, the Iran hostage crisis and the fuel shortages. His attempt at patience in handing these things cost him the presidency to a boorish blowhard named Ronald Reagan, whose message turned out to be an outright lie that people believed because they wanted to (sound familiar?).

However, it was his post presidential life that impressed me the most. He spent it quite simply, making the world a better place. In Africa his initiatives helped eradicate disease, at home he was a part of Habitat for Humanity and received the Nobel Peace Prize in 2002. A level of humanity none of his predecessors have come close to. 

But my most significant thought on this, is a question: At the end of one’s life, what can life give to a man who has given so much to his fellow man? And I concluded that what everyone wishes for, when it is all said and done, is to go peacefully, surrounded by the people you love. As I understand, that is exactly how Jimmy Carter died. Wherever his journey may take him, he deserves the calmest of waters. Thank you, and Godspeed sailor…

 

Here’s hoping the New Year brings you everything you want!

And yeah….FUCK DONALD TRUMP!