Well kids, it’s that time of year again…
QUOTE OF THE YEAR – "There are 47 percent of the people who will vote for the president no matter what ... who are dependent upon government, who believe that they are victims. ... These are people who pay no income tax. ... and so my job is not to worry about those people. I'll never convince them that they should take personal responsibility and care for their lives." Thank you, Mitt Romney. This shining beacon of an example of how totally and completely out of touch with humanity you actually are pretty much got Barack Obama another four years in the White House. 
TV SHOW OF THE YEAR – “Oliver Stone’s Untold History of the United States
MOTHER OF THE YEAR – I hate to speak ill of the dead, and I will not get into a debate over the second amendment, but any liberal who thinks they are going to magically get rid of the already 300 million guns already in the hands of the public is just as delusional as the Republican nitwits who believe that illegal immigrants will practice “self-deportation,” or that more guns in schools would have kept the tragedy in Newtown, Connecticut from happening.
Clearly, the current gun laws on the books in Connecticut could not and, more importantly, did not prevent what occurred in Sandy Hook, and yes it is time to have a serious debate about guns on a national level, but there is one issue I would like to add to that debate that has yet to be discussed, and that is proper gun storage. You can talk about banning, regulating and registering all you want, but why is no one discussing how these guns are stored? Why not have laws that specify address how a gun is to be stored and if a tragedy ensues similar to the one that killed 20 children and 6 adults in a school, we hold accountable not only the animal who did this, but the person that allowed him access to the guns in the first place. Now in this particular case, the person responsible for improper storage of, not one, but five firearms is also dead, killed by her own recklessness, so once again, maybe it’s time to add this issue to the debate.
This woman had to have known her son had mental problems, so how could she justify storing guns so poorly as to give a mentally unstable person access to them? The only good news is that she certainly won’t be making the same mistake again. So Nancy Lanza, for being irresponsible with firearms, for not having the insight to gauge the level of crazy inside your own child, and contributing to the death of 26 innocent people, this award is for you.
ASSHOLE OF THE YEAR – Newt Gingrich. Even if for nothing more than this ridiculous quote calling Barack Obama “the best food stamp President in American history.” Needless to say he was trying to appeal to old white people who associate people of color with government aid. Never mind the fact that “food stamps” per se, no longer exist, and that 24% of government aid recipients are white. Add to that the inconvenient truth that the so called “Red States” in the southern Untied States - you know, the ones that are constantly railing against government intervention, are the ones who rely the most on government aid.
PERSON OF THE YEAR - Malala Yousufzai. I like to think that I’m brave when I write, because I never censor myself and although I have had a few offers, I refuse to have any corporate sponsors on my blog (that might change of course, but let me consider myself brave now!). I cannot however, even begin to approach the strength of this 14 year old Pakistani girl, who wrote her own blog advocating education for young women in her country.
In America
It should be noted that nothing that Malala wrote was ever banned by the Pakistani government, so it was not a Constitutional amendment that was needed to protect her, but a more advanced society, which unfortunately, she does not live in.
Time magazine picked Barack Obama as their Person of the Year. I happen to think he is a great man, but Time got it wrong. Obama, as I wrote last week, has had to face odds that no other man in the history of the United States Presidency has had to face, but these difficulties never came from a place where he had to fight for what Malala had to fight for, and he does have an entire Secret Service dedicated to protecting him.
As this incredible young lady is recovering from a gunshot wound to the head, let us remember that she had the courage to express a view that at any time could have gotten her killed by the backward Neanderthals surrounding her, and it nearly did. She didn’t fight the Taliban with the help of SEAL Team Six or drones, but just her mind and a computer. That’s more than I’ve ever done, so she is my hero this year.
POLITICIAN OF THE YEAR – The first 3-time winner of this award, Barack Obama certainly does deserve it and for many reasons, just read “The JB Random Report End of the Year Awards 2012: Part I”
FELONY CONVICTION OF THE YEAR – Jerry Sandusky. 30 to 60 years in prison. I will not even get into what this fucking asshole is convicted for, but even in jail he has the nerve to say that he should be allowed more accommodations. Why isn’t he thanking the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania
OVERUSED PHRASE OF THE YEAR – “Fiscal Cliff”
MOVIE OF THE YEAR – “Moonrise Kingdom
ACTOR WHO MANAGED TO GET HIMSELF INTO EVERY COOL MOVIE THIS YEAR – Bill Murray for “Moonrise Kingdom III ,” and “Hyde Park on Hudson
COOLEST MOVIE WITH SOMEWHAT FAMOUS PEOPLE IN IT THAT YOU STILL DIDN’T SEE BUT YOU SHOULD HAVE – “Seeking a Friend for the End of the World.” I actually think I had the best time at the movies this year watching this one.
ALBUM OF THE YEAR – “The North”/Stars. In an era that is without a doubt the worst in popular music history, where musically irrelevant drivel dominates the pop charts, I am forced to rely on word of mouth and underground indie music to hear anything that won’t make my head explode.
COOLEST SONG BY A MAJOR BAND THAT WASN’T A BIG HIT – “Lover Alot” / Aerosmith. Any criticism hurled at this band with regards to its current state is somewhat deserved, I get it. Despite the fact that Steven Tyler soiled his street cred by being a judge on American Idol, this song is vintage Aerosmith.
COOLEST SONG BY A BAND YOU’VE NEVER HEARD OF – “I Love It”/ Icona Pop. The name of this band pretty much literates everything I would hate in a band, but I have to admit this is a catchy song, particularly when the singer calls herself a “90’s Bitch.” Those Swedes sure are funny.
COOLEST BAND OF THE YEAR – Japandroids. I have to admit, indie pop has been Canada Arcade Fire, Metric, Stars and this band. Then there is the fact that if you look these guys up, all that noise is actually coming from only two guys.
SPORTS TEAM OF THE YEAR – The Baylor Lady Bears. Winning 40 games in a row on their way to an undefeated season and their first National Championship was made considerably easier when you have Britnney Griner at center, but they still need 11 other girls to do it, so this year’s most interesting sports team was the Baylor Lady Bears. Honorable mention should go to the New York Giants for winning the Super Bowl after underachieving all season.
ATHLETE OF THE YEAR – Maybe it was the record, maybe it was the fact that no one had done it on over 40 years, and maybe it’s because of our American fascination with records and numbers, but Miguel Cabrera of the Detroit Tigers really did keep me watching baseball scores and updates for the entire second half of the baseball season. Honorable mention goes out to (Sorry Knick fans) Jeremy Lin, for single-handedly doing what not one, but two $100 million players could not do…make the New York Knicks interesting again. And he is proving that he was not a one-hit wonder, as he is thriving with the Houston Rockets and already beat the Knicks I believe…
OVER-RATED ATHLETE OF THE YEAR – When you talk about over rated athletes, sometimes you really do have to acknowledge that they don’t actually rate themselves, so over –rating really isn’t totally the fault of the athlete is it? Well, unless you are Terrell Owens.
For the record, I just wanna say, like everyone else, that I really like this guy. One thing I will not say is that he is not an NFL Quarterback, considering that he won a playoff game, but Tim Tebow is getting way over-hyped and he has not done anything this year. Maybe over-hyped is a more fitting phrase than over-rated. He is not self-promoting and he is not the one asking for attention, he is just getting it and given his lack of production this season, getting it undeservedly. This is not Tim Tebow’s fault, but I would like to not hear about him so much until he actually does something on the field. And congratulations to the New York Jets, for the second year in a row one of their quarterbacks has won this award.
BELOVED ATHLETE WHO REALLY SHOULD RETIRE – First, let me eat some crow…Last year, this award went to former Indianapolis Colts and now current Denver
“this is gonna be a tough one because the man can still play and I am convinced that he will play in 2012, but Payton Manning will not play at the level he once did…there is no possible way he will be who he was before his neck injury. They will absolutely draft Andrew Luck with the 1st pick in the NFL Draft next year, so why prolong the obvious? Why create a Brett Favre/Aaron Rodgers or Joe Montana/Steve Young situation when you don’t have to? Manning has done so much in his career, he really has nothing left to prove, which means he thinks he still has something to prove. I don’t think I wanna watch him next year because I’d like to remember him as great as he was before his injury.”
I will say in my defense however, I did correctly predict that Manning would still play, that the Colts would dump him and draft Andrew Luck, which is just what they did. Ironically enough, they could actually meet in the playoffs.
This year however, I don’t think I’m wrong, and it really is time for Miguel Cotto to hang up his gloves before he gets hurt. Not that he can’t still fight, but he is getting hit way too much and that won’t add any years to his career or more importantly, his life.
RACIST OF THE YEAR – He is that uncle who sits in the corner at every family reunion while the rest of us whisper “maybe it’s time to put him in a home.” This award is going to Ron Paul not for any one thing he has said or done this year, but like a lifetime achievement award, he is getting it for a collective body of work. Let’s revisit some of his gems shall we?
“Immigrants can spread diseases for which we may have no immunity. There is also the question of crime and culture. Many immigrants come from countries with different legal structures and are not willing to behave in the way we expect American citizens to behave.”
“I wouldn’t vote against getting rid of the Jim Crow laws.” -When asked if he would have voted for the Civil Rights Act.
“There is no such thing as a hate crime.”
Here is hoping that he changes his mind before he changes his Depends Adult Diapers.
DEAD PERSON OF THE YEAR – As sad and monumental a loss as is Ravi Shankar’s death to the world of music, Gore Vidal, Adam Yauch, Neil Armstrong and Mike Wallace were also significant losses suffered this year. I don’t really care about Whitney Houston, but I am a bit appalled that it only took her fame hungry family two seconds to get their own reality show whilst this woman was still warm in her grave.
But coming in just under the wire has to be the greatest military commander of the last 50 years, General Norman Schwarzkopf, the architect of Desert Storm 1991. “Stormin’ Norman” as he was called, had the foresight to work out a plan that soundly defeated the enemy, which in this case was the battle tested Iraqi army, the fourth largest military in the world, without committing US forces any more than he had to. This resulted in total victory with minimal casualties. History that was clearly lost when George W Bush, the only US Iraq
Here’s hoping the New Year brings you everything you want!
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