The End of an Era 1/27/11

Last week was so boring I couldn’t have possibly written anything interesting. This week however is a different story, but first, an announcement...

I don’t remember exactly what the drunken rant was about in the Spring of 2006, but I remember it happened while playing one of the greatest games I’ve ever helped to create…The American Idol Drinking Game. One of my friends suggested that I should write this down and share it with the rest of our friends who weren’t there that night. When I asked how I would do that they said “Write a blog.” I got home, and started raving like a lunatic about how insane I thought Paula Abdul was, how delusional some of the contestants were, and how hot some of the under aged girls were. I saw that I only had a paragraph so I just began writing about other stuff I thought was interesting, current and funny. I woke up the next morning to find out that people I didn’t even know, from places I had never been to had read the blog and commented on it. Talk about the power of technology. Well The JB Random Report was born that night, and now gets thousands of hits a week from just about all over the world (I know this because I regularly check the stats to feel better about myself). To think, it all started because I wanted to make fun of a reality TV show. This is why I am sad to report that due to extremely hateful and boring nature of the new season, The American Idol section of The JB Random Report will not be written on a regular basis anymore, as I will no longer be a regular viewer. Don’t get me wrong, given the fact that I clearly suffer from battered wife syndrome, I will certainly give a few lines to anything interesting that might happen on that show, but I doubt anything interesting will happen, at least not in front of the camera. I mean Steven Tyler getting into a catfight with J Lo and snatching her wig off would be hysterical, or Randy Jackson skipping lunch then eating one of the contestants would be funny, but they would never broadcast that, so why bother?

NEWS & CURRENT EVENTS

President Barack Obama gave the State of the Union this week. I must say I liked the speech, and his reference that "This is our Sputnik moment" couldn't ring more true. The speech was so good that Jim Boehner had to secretly watch “The Notebook” on his ipad just to have something to cry about. The Republican response was measured but as usual, presented no real ideas. That Tea Bagger response given by that history ignoring maniac Michele Bachmann was comical at best, playing to her usual crowd of nit wits who will believe anything so long as it is anti-government. She stuck to the basic Tea bagger talking points, which basically consist of using coded language to say "The big black president is coming to take away your guns and Bibles," and used nice little pictures to illustrate her inaccuracies. Showing how much unemployment had risen under Obama and failing to mention how it could only go up because it had been rising under former President and current retard George W Bush. I love how she said the stimulus package failed but neglected to mention that it was put in place by former president and current retard George W Bush, Obama just had the difficult burden of signing it. I’m sure she would have been OK with letting the banks fail and then blaming Obama for that. What was line in that movie again? “You stop telling lies about me and I will stop telling the truth about you.” There is something Obama should have quoted.

SPORTS

I remember when Keith Olberman was the funny sportscaster on ESPN, then he became the Left’s answer to Glenn Beck, only without the mental illness of course. Like a lot of people, I hope he finds another job soon, maybe even coming back to ESPN.

And how ‘bout those J-E-T-S JetsJetsJets!! They had a great season by anyone else’s account, but they were so much more hyped this year, mostly by their own big mouths. As entertaining as they were, they actually didn’t get any further than they did last year. I’ll make my Superbowl prediction next week, but this is gonna be a great game to watch considering the tradition that both teams will be carrying into that game.

THIS WEEK’S REASON WHY TERRORISTS WANNA KILL US

Last week someone I know asked me to comment about Elton John saying that he felt like a "second class citizen" because he couldn't marry his male partner, but was still very wealthy and even knighted by the Queen. Sorry, but I'm not with you on this one. My response was that Martin Luther King Jr. won a Nobel Prize and still couldn't sit at a lunch counter. But just in case Sir Elton didn't feel bad enough, those progressive citizens of the Southern United States certainly did their part to remind him. Looks like a store named Harp's in Arkansas(surprise!) has decided to censor the US Weekly cover with Elton, his partner, and their new baby with a grey "Family Shield To Protect Young Shoppers" cover. Really? What are they actually protecting them from? Is Elton John having sex on the cover? Is he wearing a thong? (Shit we all would need protection from that). I guess similar protection was unavailable when the cast of "Teen Moms 2," or one of those Kardashian skanks was on the cover, because those might be more damaging to "families" than two grown men with an infant.
Do you think it's a coincidence that this comes from a state ranked 32nd in literacy?