“Well kids, it’s that time of year again, I must say this
decade flew by in a flash, and just how the fuck are we still alive?”
If you remember, this was actually the headline of LAST
year’s JB Random Report End of the Year
Awards. I used it almost tongue in cheek-ly. Now it really is a question
that needs to be asked seriously, even if this has always been a somewhat
lighthearted look at the events of the past year…
NEWS STORY OF THE YEAR – Democracy being under attack and Republicans not seeming to care
So…January 6th huh?
Next week, it would have been a year since democracy in the
United States, the country that once
symbolized its modern form, almost really came to an end. What is worse, is
that Republican lawmakers who historically attacked anyone who they didn’t feel
were patriotic enough, seemed to turn a blind eye when their country was
attacked by insurgents.
What infuriates me the most about this is the indifference
that Republicans, other than Liz Cheney seem to have over the
matter. So let’s not forget their lies and cowardice, shall we? Here are but a
few gems that will hopefully resonate throughout history when needed:
Rep. Andrew Clyde
(R-Ga.) say “You know, if you didn’t know the TV footage was a video from
Jan. 6, you’d think it was a normal tourist visit.”
Rep. Paul Gosar
(R-Ariz.) said Ashli Babbitt, a
rioter shot and killed by a Capitol
Police officer as she tried to jump through a window smashed by the mob
right outside the House chamber was a “veteran wrapped in an American flag” who
was “executed.”
Rep. Ralph Norman
(R-S.C.) “I don't know who did a poll to say that they were Trump
supporters,” Norman said of the mob, many of whom were carrying signs or
wearing clothing indicating their support for Trump.
Rep. Jody Hice
(R-Ga.) “In fact, it was Trump supporters who lost their lives that day,
not Trump supporters who were taking the lives of others.”
As of today, five Capitol Police officers have died by
either stroke or suicide, and there is no arguing that the riot of January 6
th
did not exasperate the causes which lead them there, so fuck these assholes. Mind you, these are actually fucking lawmakers. Senators and
congressmen. Saying that this was some sort of innocuous event. Cowering so
pathetically to the popularity that
Donald
Trump has with their ignorant racist base, that they are willing to look past
an insurrection that cost lives, and has to date lead to 700 arrests in 45
states.
Is this the country you want to live in?
PERSON OF THE YEAR – Alexei Navalny, Russian Lawyer and Activist
Well yeah, it’s not gonna be Elon Musk. What were you thinking
Time Magazine? I know he is friends
with the owner, but come on. You can do so much better than a billionaire
playing astronaut. You know who won their readers poll?
Brazilian President and
Trump
wanna-be
Jair Bolsonaro. Damn.
I seriously thought of Capitol
Police Officer Eugene Goodman, but someone on the internet beat me to it.
I went with
Russian
anti-corruption activist
Alexei Navalny,
because he has bigger balls than anyone and I hate
Vladimir Putin. For those of you who don’t know, he was the guy
that Putin tried to have killed in
Germany
using his old
KGB method of
radiation poisoning. Navalny not only recovered, but decided to
go back to fucking Russia. Proving that
nothing scares a gutless bully more than a single man without fear, Putin
promptly had him arrested and suppressed all protests calling for his release.
He still sits in prison now, a symbol of how fragile and corrupt Putin’s
dictatorship is.
TV SHOW
OF THE YEAR – The “Peaky FOOKIN’ Blinders” – Netflix
For me? Well that’s the beauty of streaming combined with a
pandemic. I can be so late to the party but still appreciate a great show. So
this program started years ago, and given the fact that one of the actors has
died, its future is uncertain, but I did not enjoy watching a show more this
year than this one. and all the memes it inspired too.
Yes I know it is not technically “this years” show, but who
cares, now is when I appreciated it and it’s my list.
ASSHOLE OF THE YEAR – Sen. Joe Manchin (D?-WV)
The one asshole that is holding back one of the most
important pieces of legislation since the
Affordable
Care Act is this asshole from
West
Virginia, and all of us should be baffled as to why. A great question for
another time is “when was the last time
Republicans
passed any significant legislation, much less a bill that actually helped
Americans and made their lives better? So here is
President Joe Biden, with a narrow majority in the
Senate actually doing the job he was
elected to do, and this asshole holding it up like a true loyal Republican.
"I have always said, 'If I can't go back home and
explain it, I can't vote for it.' Despite my best efforts, I cannot explain the
sweeping Build Back Better Act in West
Virginia and I cannot vote to move forward on this mammoth piece of
legislation." This is a quote from Manchin. This legislation will improve
our crumbling 3rd world infrastructure, provide for child health care
and address climate change, so of course he should be against it, right?
OK so then explain this: On December 22, 2021, The United Mine Workers of America
rallied in support of the Build Back Better Act, and they asked Manchin to
support it. Manchin was named an honorary member of the same union last year. I
am serious. The Union that supports the biggest industry in his state, that he
has made millions off of, is asking him to reassess his position and support
the bill. This fucking asshole’s own constituents
want him to stop cockblocking Build Back Better. One is compelled to ask, why
be against it, other than to play both sides of an extremely divisive political
atmosphere and try to insinuate yourself into a greater position of power?
MOVIE OF THE YEAR – “Summer
of Soul”
Now of course I am so into documentary films I can watch a
documentary about paint drying, so it is easy to see why I am so biased towards
them. Not that there were no good non-doc movies, it’s just that the
documentaries I saw were better, and it’s my list.
Qwestlove is a great musician, but not someone who I would think I
would want to produce a movie for me. But then he finds hours of nearly
forgotten footage of the 1969 Harlem Cultural Festival. Mind you, this was the
same summer that another certain little music festival was held on a farm close
to
Woodstock, a few miles north in
the same state.
I sat through this thing not even thinking about when there
would be a break in the action and I could look at my phone or go to the
kitchen. Every minute of this film was mesmerizing, probably because we had
never seen this footage before, or some of these artists in this context (Wait
till you hear some of Nina Simone’s remarks).
And then of course, there’s the music…
DOCUMENTARY OF THE YEAR – “Rompan Todo. The History of Rock in Latin America” - Netflix
I remember television that was not geared towards a specific
person, and you watched shit when It came on, not when you wanted to. Now we
live in an Orwellian digital world that knows exactly what you like and will
give it to you when you want it because its algorithm watches your every move.
So thanks for that
Netflix. This was the best documentary I saw all year. What
I loved the most about it was its thoroughness and how they gave every band
their due time and respect, based on (and rightfully so) a combination of
musical credibility, with popularity and their influence on other bands.
Netflix seems to have someone on the inside who loves Rock en Espanol, because
there are a few docs made about these bands on their service. I hope one on
Soda Stereo is next.
I’ll talk about “Get
Back” some other time
ALBUM OF THE YEAR – Leon Bridges - “Gold-Diggers Sound” and
Nas – “Kings Disease II”.
For the first time in the history of the JB Random Report,
it’s a tie…
Both these records were constant play for me this year. Now
usually this is where I rant about how public radio is now the only radio that
matters, but no one really listens to radio anymore so fuck it. So Leon Bridges has been on my radar for years, he is an
awesome neo soul artist that gets no airplay on black radio for some reason. This
record was absolutely magnificent, masterfully blending old and new with a
unique, original sound.
And Nas, well, Nas is Nas and always will be. He is the
greatest word to word rapper this side of
Rakim
(Really
Jay-Z, chill with your
billions and don’t poke this bear, my dude…). The rhymes on this record are all
good, and the collaborations flow so smoothly and evenly, not forced or
contrived like so many others in hip hop.
COOLEST SONG BY A MAJOR ACT THAT WASN’T A BIG HIT – “The Bandit” – Kings of Leon
I have no idea why this didn’t catch on. It was a cool song
that showed that they are growing with their audience.
Honorable mention goes to “Charming Mess” - The Black Crowes. This wasn’t actually recorded
this year, but 30 years ago for their breakthrough debut album “Shake Your Moneymaker” but for
inexplicable fucking reason, it didn’t make the cut. So they decided to release
some songs from those sessions and this gem was one of them.
COOLEST SONG OF THE YEAR – “Valentine” – Snail Mail
Yes I know it seems like I’m bandwagon jumping, but other
than the constant Facebook ad bombardment, did you even actually listen to
this, bro? It really is catchy.
COOLEST SONG OF THE YEAR BY A BAND YOU’VE NEVER HEARD OF
– “Across That Fine Line” – Nation of Language
On an album full of resurrected 80’s drum machine bits, this
one stands out for some reason.
COOLEST ACT OF THE YEAR – Leon Bridges
I have been singing (no pun intended) this guy’s praises for
years, and I always felt ignored. Ever since I first heard him, I knew he was
gonna be great. Neo Soul is quickly becoming a constant on every playlist of
mine, and I am totally here for it.I also predict that he is gonna have one of those big Grammy
years where people go “who is this dude, why haven’t I heard of him and why is
he winning so many Grammys?”
SPORTS TEAM OF THE YEAR
– The Milwaukee Bucks NBA
OK so maybe
Tom Brady
did win his 7
th Super Bowl
a feat that will probably never be duplicated, but it’s my list so fuck Tom
Brady. And while I’m at it, fuck
New
England too, just in case
Bill Belichick
has one more in him.
You know why The Bucks were the team of the year? Because
they won their championship the right way. By drafting, being patient, and
developing players. Their biggest star, 2 time MVP Giannis Antetokounmpo was drafted by the team and chose to stay in
Milwaukee even when more money and a bigger market became available to him. He
refused to workout with other big superstars in the offseason, and wouldn’t
even think to be a part of a LeBron-esque
“Super Team.”
This is what made them such a joy to watch. Admittedly, I
had not watched an entire NBA Finals
in a while, but thanks to the myriad of new and deadlier COVID variants
combined with this team’s story, I did just that. Their story made this series
so compelling, that you find yourself rooting for the team, the town, and how
they did it.
ATHLETE OF THE YEAR – Stephen Curry, The Golden State
Warriors, NBA
Maybe it is a bit premature to crown him
MVP just yet. But to come back after
such a devastating injury in your thirties, and have the year he is having is
nothing short of remarkable. This year he is only breaking the all-time 3 point
record, 2
nd in the NBA in scoring, and has his team in 1
st
place in their Conference. And that is all without
Klay Thomson coming back yet.
OVERRATED ATHLETE OF THE YEAR – Russell Westbrook, Los Angeles Lakers, NBA.
This one hurts because I love watching this guy do what he
does. But he is the ground equivalent to this era what the great Dominique Wilkins was in the air in the
1980’s. Awesome to behold, but just can’t seem to win.
Westbrook was part a team in O
klahoma City that was built the right way (see more below) and
along with perennial all-stars
James
Harden and
Kevin Durant they had
some great years and were on their way to being an excellent team but for some
inexplicable reason, they decided to break the team up. Durant being the only
one who has won a Championship. Westbrook is a walking triple-double, and even
that doesn’t translate to his teams winning.
This year, he moved to his now 4th NBA team, to
be part of yet another LeBron James
“Super Team” (more on that later, too) and that team is barely over .500, and
as tough as the Western Conference is, they may not even make the playoffs,
much less get out of the first round. Is it Westbrook’s fault? Certainly not,
but it’s time to stop calling him a savior. In every team he has been on, a
game plan has been tried where he can thrive and win, yet still only one of
those things have happened so far.
BELOVED ATHLETE WHO REALLY SHOULD RETIRE –Ummm…I Dunno
So last year I mentioned
Drew Breese of the
New
Orleans Saints just because. For the record, I did not call for him to
retire, I just mentioned that everyone else seemed to think he should, and he
promptly did. He is great as a broadcaster, btw.
So this year, I am still at odds, but if you force me to
pick one, I think I might have to go with Carmelo
Anthony. He is currently playing for The
Los Angeles Lakers as part of that afore mentioned LeBron-esque super team
that isn’t getting it together at all for some reason. Now don’t get it twisted,
just because Carmelo may be ring chasing now, that does not take away what an
accomplished basketball player he has been. He has been an NCAA Champion, a
great player in the league, but what I love most has been his commitment to the
USA Men’s National Team and the Olympics. Carmelo has been a part of USA Basketball
since 2004 and continued to play until 2016, something that many professionals
cannot claim. 4 medals, 3 Gold and a FIBA
Americas title, he wasn’t just there “Dream Team-ing” it, he was dedicated
to his country’s team. He will always have my respect for that.
BIGOTED ASSHOLE OF THE YEAR – Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, R-GA.
This is an easy one. So let’s start with a quote, shall we?
"America is a
nation with a border, and a culture, strengthened by a common respect for
uniquely Anglo-Saxon political traditions.”
Ohh it gets better…
”…societal trust and
political unity are threatened when foreign citizens are imported en-masse into
a country, particularly without institutional support for assimilation and an
expansive welfare state to bail them out should they fail to contribute positively
to the country."
This is a direct quote from a charter attempting to organize
an “America First” Congressional caucus. A. Direct. Quote. In 2021. This was
actually presented to Congress for consideration…in 2021. The founder? Ms.
Taylor Greene. If this really needs further explanation, delete your account.
DEAD PERSON OF THE YEAR – There just can’t be only one…
We always lose some good ones every year, and lately I have
mentioned more than one significant loss in any given year, and I’m afraid this
year is no different. But this year’s choices made me realize something that
may make me sound like a Boomer but, here it goes…We are losing folks that we
genuinely cannot replace because they just don’t make them like that anymore.
And by that I mean, totally original, accomplished individuals who were
pioneers of their chosen profession. At press time, there are unconfirmed
reports that TV icon Betty White is
dead, I hope that’s not true…
Let’s start with the most recent ones first. Can anyone
replace what
John Madden meant, not
just to football as a Super Bowl winning coach and a lively broadcaster, but to
pop culture in general? Here is a man who re-introduced himself to future
generations just by allowing
Electronic
Arts to use his name to sell a video game. That game is now the most
popular sports video game of all time.
Has the world produced another fearless activist to take the
place of
Nobel Peace Prize winner
Bishop Desmond Tutu?
For me personally, the loss of
Charlie Watts, drummer of my all-time favorite band
The Rolling Stones, was difficult. I
saw him play with the band so many times. His steady yet versatile when needed
style is something that I do not think the band can find in anyone else.
And while we are on the topic of musicians, why did they
still let an 81 year old
Vicente
Fernandez bring his gun to the stage until his death this year? What if he shot the maracas
player?
Wishing you all a safe and Happy New Year
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