The Yankees Mount Rushmore 8/26/10

THE YANKEES MOUNT RUSHMORE

Michael Kay does the Yankee games for the YES Network here in New York. He is a nice enough guy, a bit of a groupie but whatever. So the other night he was asking who would be on a “Mount Rushmore” for the Seattle Mariners. He mentioned Ken Griffey Jr., Randy Johnson, Edgar Martinez, Ichiro Suzuki, Jay Buhner, Alex Rodriguez (no way; he wasn’t there long enough), and maybe one day, Felix Hernandez. He would have kept going until John Flaherty, the ballplayer in the booth, politely reminded the guy with the fancy communications degree from Fordham that there are only four faces on Mount Rushmore.
I think any of the other 28 teams in baseball have an easy time finding their four greatest players, but when you are the greatest franchise in the history of sports, anyone you put up there would be open to debate. I think my four are just as good as anyone’s but I strongly doubt my first two are open to debate. So here is my Yankees Mt. Rushmore, feel free to add yours for the Yanks or any one of the lesser teams in baseball. And for you Mets fans, Casey Stengel and Gil Hodges don’t count, they never belonged to you, deal with it.

George Herman “Babe” Ruth (1914-1935). Batting Average: .342 Homeruns: 714 Runs Batted In: 2,271. Hits: 2,873. Really is there any debating this one? Forget the fact that he is the first athlete to ever transcend his sport. Forget the fact that he is the greatest total ballplayer ever. Forget the fact that even with his offensive numbers, he pitched 29 2/3rd consecutive scoreless innings in the World Series. Yes the World Series. Forget the fact that he is the reason for the greatest rivalry in sports. Having been traded to the Yankees from the Boston Red Sox so that their owner could finance “No No Nanette” a Broadway show, the dreaded “Curse of the Bambino” was thought to be the cause of the Red Sox failures to win a World Series for decades after.
He is the reason why people who knew little about baseball came to the ballpark; it was to watch him, not just the game. He is the reason why numbered uniforms are still used today because it was the first way fans could identify their favorite players. He has records that still stand even after nearly a century since he played his last game. He was the biggest star the game had ever seen, much less the Yankees. If baseball had a Mt Rushmore his is the first face on it, so the Yankees is a given.

Joseph Paul DiMaggio (1936-1942, 1946-1951). BA: .325 HR: 361 RBI: 1,537. H: 2,214. Had Babe Ruth not won 98 games as a pitcher, DiMaggio would probably have to be considered the greatest Yankee ever (The Babe never pitched for the Yankees, but still…).When I was in law school, I remember having a debate with a Professor about who was the greatest center fielder in the history of New York baseball. One of my friends said Mickey Mantle. I said, and I still believe I’m right, Willie Mays, to which the Professor responded to by saying “How old are you?” “25” I said, to which he replied “What do you know?” He said it was DiMaggio (for the record, no one in class picked The Dodgers' Duke Snyder). I argued that Dimaggio, great as he was, never made the spectacular catches in center field, to which the wise professor quietly replied, "He always knew where the ball was, so he never had to." One of the few times in my life, and I can count them on one hand by the way, that I was left without a qualified response. Remembering that The Clipper lost four of his prime years due to military service (something lost on today's ballplayers) he still put up amazing numbers. Numbers that year for year, are just as good as, if not overall better, than any other Yankee.

Mariano Rivera (1995- Present). Wins: 74 Losses: 54 Saves: 551 Earned Run Average: 2.21 Strikeouts: 1044. Look, this might be the first one that gets some debate, but can you argue with what he has done, and is continuing to do at a high level even after 15 years in the majors? Ask yourself this: is he the greatest ever at what he does? The answer is an unequivocal “Hell fucking yeah.” Traditionalists need to get over the fact that the closer is a relatively new phenomenon. The position is certainly not an easy one. When in a save situation, you can either get a save or lose the game. In order to even win you have to give up the lead. The pressure and tense atmosphere during a save situation is not one that can be handled by just anyone. And there is no greater pressure situation in baseball then having the outcome of a postseason game in your hands. Here are his numbers in those situations: W: 8 L: 1 SV: 39 ERA: 0.74 SO: 107. I think we can close the book on this argument on numbers alone. And to say the greatest starting pitchers in the game could have done what Rivera does is misguided. We will never know if Greg Maddux could have been a great closer because he was never in that situation. My point is that closing requires a different mindset. I don’t know who would have had it, but I certainly know who does have it.

Lawrence Peter “Yogi” Berra (1946-1963, 1965). BA: .285 HR: 358 RBI: 1,430 H: 2,150. 10 World Series rings. What Bill Russell is to the NBA, Yogi Berra is to baseball: simply, its greatest winner. Much in the same way that a point guard in basketball would control the game by always having the ball, Yogi would control the Yankee play on the field. Trained by Hall of Famer Bill Dickey (back in the days where you trained your replacement out of loyalty) Berra was the greatest all around catcher ever. Once again, I never said he was their greatest player, but he certainly is their greatest winner, and winning with some shaky teams is not easy, particularly 1962 when only two everyday players were hitting over .300. Now in order to put his face on this mountain, I had to exclude some of the greatest players ever, much less some of the greatest Yankees; Lou Gehrig, Whitey Ford, Mickey Mantle, Reggie Jackson and Derek Jeter to name a few. And the debate that any of these guys should be included is certainly not without merit. But I believe my choices to be the perfect balance between, talent, numbers, star power and championships.

I'm Ready to Replace Dr. Laura 8/19/10

NEWS & CURRENT EVENTS

I remember liking Barack Obama a lot more than I have been liking him lately. Let's start with declaring how safe the Gulf is before the clean up is totally finished really is insulting. Didn’t it take years before the Alaska coastline was totally clean after the Exxon Valdez spill? Hey Barack you wanna pretend to swim in that oil drenched mess to make a point, go ahead, but I would rather see you enforce whatever decisions hold BP responsible and make those who depend on those waters for their livelihood whole again…just like you said you would.
And then last week Obama decides to chime in on whether or not a Mosque should be placed a few blocks away from the World Trade Center site. Look, all of us understand that this is a local matter with serious political resonance, but it is still a local matter. We don’t need the President reminding us about the 1st Amendment, New Yorkers already know what it says. What he fails to realize is that this issue is not about religious freedom but respect for the wishes of the families of those who died on 9/11. Everyone defends the right to build the Mosque, that’s what advanced citizenship is all about. You can make an argument that a Catholic church would probably never be built in Afghanistan, but they are not the ones committed to religious freedom, we are. However, this is not about whether or not they could but whether or not they should.
Over the weekend the President wisely backpedaled from his stance, but the damage has been done. Let’s not buy that press statement bullshit that the president was merely addressing religious freedom, this was a clear statement of support; Support that he held back until today for the Zadronga bill calling for additional support for 9/11 workers. Look, like it or not, the majority of the population of this country is not that bright, and these missteps have now caused the White House to (and I can’t fucking believe I’m typing this) issue a statement saying that Obama is a Christian who prays daily. A move I guess they found necessary as a new poll by the Pew Research Center now finds that 18% of Americans believe that he is a Muslim.
The proponents of the Mosque also say that they are merely addressing a need in Lower Manhattan. Well Lower Manhattan is big enough for you to move your Mosque to a less controversial location, and 63% of the Population in New York City would like to see just that. Ultimately, this should not be a political issue, this is a local zoning issue, so let’s not let either side use it for political gain, and let's make sure that a balance is struck that involves the desires of the 9/11 families.

SPORTS

Roger Clemens…you have some ‘splaining to do. It might have taken a few years, but Clemens was finally indicted today for lying to Congress when he testified about steroid use in 2008. Now there is a saying in the legal profession that you "can indict a ham sandwich." True, but that sandwich must have done something to attract attention.

ASSHOLE OF THE WEEK

How can it not be naked picture taking bimbo turned moralist Dr. Laura Schlessinger? After using the “N-word” (and I don’t mean “naked”) during her call-in show while speaking to a black woman, no less, this moron has decided to call it quits. In typical insulting fashion, she tells the public that she has decided to quite her show to “Protect her 1st Amendment rights” I guess exercising them on a daily talk show does not support her right to speak at all, but what do I know, I’m just someone who is more educated that she is and has yet to develop the gall to call myself “Doctor.” So who is supporting this brilliant idea of defending the freedom to speak by no longer speaking? Why Sarah Palin of course! You gotta love these nitwits.

THIS WEEK’S REASON WHY TERRORISTS WANNA KILL US

After all this city has been through this week, why do we let Burger King commit jihad against us by allowing them to serve their NY Pizza Burger, only here in New York at their so called “Whopper Bar?” This heart attack on a bun is a whopping 2,400 calories. Here's what it is: four quarter-pound Whopper patties topped with mozzarella cheese, marinara sauce, and a "pesto-flavored but nut-free 'Tuscan Herb Mayo,'" all on a 9.5-inch bun. Wow, looks like Dick Cheney was right…we are letting the terrorists win.

Is Target Racist? 8/12/10

When you find yourself strangely identifying with the characters in “I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell” by saying, “Yeah…I remember when that happened to me,” then it really is time to re-asses your life choices.

I was gonna take a vacation this week, but then I strolled into Target and saw this shit on the rack, the front rack no less…Seriously, isn’t getting dragged kicking and screaming into Target bad enough? Why do I have to endure their racist Sambo tee shirt, available in all sizes and 2 different colors I might add, the minute I walk into the place? Just show me where the blenders are and save your racist social comments for the bargain bin.

NEWS & CURRENT EVENTS

You know, 2 weeks ago I thought those calling for Charlie Rangel’s head were jumping the gun a bit, but after that ill advised speech on the House floor on Tuesday where he practically dared the Ethics Committee to come after him, and that gawdy 80th Birthday party he threw at the Plaza last night, I’m beginning to think that maybe he is asking for it. Old dude, you are under investigation, shouldn’t you be laying low? There were some high points to the evening though: It was interesting to see the lamest of all lame ducks, Governor David Paterson have to introduce the man who maneuvered him out of the democratic party’s gubernatorial nomination, Andrew Cuomo. And it was also interesting to see former mayor of New York City David Dinkins actually do something that after 20 years I can finally remember him for: Giving the finger to protesters outside the Plaza, all while former City Council Speaker Peter Vallone Sr. and the raccoon he wears on his head as a hairpiece looked on. Look, I’ve always liked Charlie Rangel, but I am beginning to think that he is knowingly digging his own political grave. Maybe he is set in his ways because he's very old, but unless he wants to lose his legacy and maybe even his job, he needs to listen to his advisors a bit more closely.

SPORTS

Joe Girardi needs to stop micro-managing his pitching staff and let some guys actually throw the ball before he takes them out of a game. Wanna tweak something? How about the offense? Begin at the beginning: Right now you have Derek Jeter, who is having a decent year, batting lead off. How about a faster, slightly better hitting, with a better OBP (That’s On Base Percentage) like Brett Gardner leading off? You have no one to fill that two hole with Nick Johnson out and Lance Berkman not exactly lighting it up, move Jeter there where he has traditionally done well. And how about rewarding your best offensive producer by moving him up in the line-up? Robinson Cano leads the everyday players in batting average, at-bats, and is third in homeruns and RBIs. He is better than 5th, and moving him will shake up a line up that has been a bit stale, with Mark Teixeira getting off to a slow start, even by his standards, and Alex Rodriguez not hitting well for average this year. And how about the quiet star-making season that Nick Swisher is having?

As for The Mets, well…I will say one thing, they certainly do seem to come up with creative and magnificent ways to implode every year. Nice going K-Rod!

THIS WEEK’S REASON WHY TERRORISTS WANNA KILL US

Why exactly does Bill O’Reilly think that Jennifer Aniston is “destructive to society?” I don’t really know, I just read the headline and thought it was funny. I do know however, that it can’t be that serious given that fact that Bill O’Reilly is a complete fucking maniac, or was that Glenn Beck? Shit now I’m confused…

The JB Random Report 8/5/10

OK…I really thought of taking a vacation this week, and then I saw this shit…The New York Daily News, which is nothing more than a glorified tabloid at a 5th grade reading level, a paper whose only real value is in its daily Sudoku puzzle decides to congratulate Alex Rodriguez on his 600th homerun with this headline…Now, I would love to see the asshole who came up with this little nugget of half-wit hit one homerun, much less 600.
Once again I am forced to remind the over zealously critical New York media that this guy took a pay cut and changed positions just to play on this team. Sure this is and always will be Derek Jeter’s team, but Alex Rodriguez is a major part of it, and the new Yankee Stadium would not have been christened with a World Series Championship if not for his contribution. Sure he clearly “misoverestimated” the free agent market in 2007, and he didn’t help his image in New York by testing those free agent waters, but after the way he was treated could you blame him for at least wanting to know what his fair market value was? I wonder what the fair market value of his haters would be?

And ESPN, a word of advice…How is your credibility after that whole LeBron James 1 hour TV special? Exactly! So do us all a favor and go away for a while; go harass Lance Armstrong, he seems to be in a bit of trouble with PEDs lately, and there is no proof there, so go plant some. And I might also remind you that Rodriguez took exactly 3 years to go from 500 to 600, and he was in his 30’s, long after baseball begrudgingly added a testing program. So his pace is actually better than before and during he said he was using PEDs. And his usage was only for a period of 2 years; too short to even matter in a 16 year career.
Seriously isn’t it time to give this guy a break already? At least at home? As far as steroids go, I have said this before and I will say it again…If the self important sports writers who never played the game insist on not voting in certain players who are linked to steroids, then they are going to have one empty Hall of Fame in a few years. They are finally going to have to get over themselves and acknowledge that this was not one or two players using, it was just as rampant as amphetamines a.k.a. “greenies” were in the 1970’s and cocaine was in the late 70’s and early 1980’s.
In the so-called “steroid era,” it was guys hitting homeruns at a time where pitchers were also using, so I consider the playing field level. If A-Rod or anyone else has to discount every homerun they hit while on steroids, then every pitcher who ever struck him out on steroids has to give that back too; good luck trying to re-adjust those numbers. Steroid usage, no matter how limited or rampant, really was a mess for baseball. But Alex Rodriguez is not that era’s poster boy, nor should he be, so give it a rest already. And should he one day get tired of being treated like Richard Nixon and request a trade, I wonder how let down and betrayed the assholes at the Daily News will feel.