OK, So This is Where We Are, and This is How We Got Here

“Give him a chance”

“All politicians are the same”

“But her emails”

Make no mistake, this phony cynicism, complete indifference, lazy ignorance and outright stupidity is what has today, turned the United States of America, the greatest experiment in democracy in human history, into the world of  “The Handmaid’s Tale.”

Do you think that the Supreme Court of the United States, in today’s decision to overturn “Roe vs. Wade” even took into account that a Gallup poll showed that this is not even what the majority of Americans wanted? This decision has absolutely NOTHING to do with abortion, and everything to do with a group of angry old white men wanting to control women’s bodies because they are still bitter that they couldn’t get laid in high school.

So, still think elections don’t matter? Justices Neil Gorsuch, Brett Kavanaugh and Amy Coney Barrett, were all appointed by a twice impeached, lying, ignorant, racist, fascist, misogynistic, xenophobic, unqualified, pussy grabbing, five time draft dodging coward, useful idiot Russian asset and criminal traitor with American blood on his tiny, incompetent hands. All three should be impeached by the way, for lying under oath during their confirmation hearings when asked whether or not they believed Roe was settled law.

I could go on, I am so upset that a rant probably is in order, but the context is too important, and I do not want to diminish anyone’s attention span, so I will ask you to look beyond this decision and think about the long term ramifications of the reasoning.

The opinion was about 78 pages long, with a 30 page appendix. That’s a whole lotta paper used to distract you from the fact that the reasoning, at its fundamental core, says that there is no inherent right to privacy or personal autonomy in any provisions of the US Constitution — and similarly, no evidence that peoples' reliance on the court's abortion precedents over the past half century should matter. (kinda makes that whole “Bill of Rights” thing a tad inconvenient, doesn’t it?) Do you realize what this means for previous Court decisions concerning marriage and gender equality? Do think that Alito’s wording that “nothing in this opinion should be understood to cast doubt on precedents that do not concern abortion,”  is really gonna mean shit to the unqualified lapdogs that were put on the SCOTUS by that pig Donald Trump? Who incidentally has been accused of paying for at last count, EIGHT abortions for his porn star mistresses. 

See? Not about the act, it's about control

The JB Random Report End of the Year Awards 2021

“Well kids, it’s that time of year again, I must say this decade flew by in a flash, and just how the fuck are we still alive?”

If you remember, this was actually the headline of LAST year’s JB Random Report End of the Year Awards. I used it almost tongue in cheek-ly. Now it really is a question that needs to be asked seriously, even if this has always been a somewhat lighthearted look at the events of the past year…

NEWS STORY OF THE YEAR – Democracy being under attack and Republicans not seeming to care

So…January 6^th huh? 

Next week, it would have been a year since democracy in the United States, the country that once symbolized its modern form, almost really came to an end. What is worse, is that Republican lawmakers who historically attacked anyone who they didn’t feel were patriotic enough, seemed to turn a blind eye when their country was attacked by insurgents.

What infuriates me the most about this is the indifference that Republicans, other than Liz Cheney seem to have over the matter. So let’s not forget their lies and cowardice, shall we? Here are but a few gems that will hopefully resonate throughout history when needed:

Rep. Andrew Clyde (R-Ga.) say “You know, if you didn’t know the TV footage was a video from Jan. 6, you’d think it was a normal tourist visit.”

Rep. Paul Gosar (R-Ariz.) said Ashli Babbitt, a rioter shot and killed by a Capitol Police officer as she tried to jump through a window smashed by the mob right outside the House chamber was a “veteran wrapped in an American flag” who was “executed.”

Rep. Ralph Norman (R-S.C.) “I don't know who did a poll to say that they were Trump supporters,” Norman said of the mob, many of whom were carrying signs or wearing clothing indicating their support for Trump.

Rep. Jody Hice (R-Ga.) “In fact, it was Trump supporters who lost their lives that day, not Trump supporters who were taking the lives of others.”

As of today, five Capitol Police officers have died by either stroke or suicide, and there is no arguing that the riot of January 6^th did not exasperate the causes which lead them there, so fuck these assholes. Mind you, these are actually fucking lawmakers. Senators and congressmen. Saying that this was some sort of innocuous event. Cowering so pathetically to the popularity that Donald Trump has with their ignorant racist base, that they are willing to look past an insurrection that cost lives, and has to date lead to 700 arrests in 45 states.

Is this the country you want to live in?

 PERSON OF THE YEAR – Alexei Navalny, Russian Lawyer and Activist

Well yeah, it’s not gonna be Elon Musk. What were you thinking Time Magazine? I know he is friends with the owner, but come on. You can do so much better than a billionaire playing astronaut. You know who won their readers poll? Brazilian President and Trump wanna-be Jair Bolsonaro. Damn. 

I seriously thought of Capitol Police Officer Eugene Goodman, but someone on the internet beat me to it. 

I went with Russian anti-corruption activist Alexei Navalny, because he has bigger balls than anyone and I hate Vladimir Putin. For those of you who don’t know, he was the guy that Putin tried to have killed in Germany using his old KGB method of radiation poisoning. Navalny not only recovered, but decided to go back to fucking Russia. Proving that nothing scares a gutless bully more than a single man without fear, Putin promptly had him arrested and suppressed all protests calling for his release. He still sits in prison now, a symbol of how fragile and corrupt Putin’s dictatorship is. 

TV SHOW OF THE YEAR – The “Peaky FOOKIN’ Blinders” – Netflix

For me? Well that’s the beauty of streaming combined with a pandemic. I can be so late to the party but still appreciate a great show. So this program started years ago, and given the fact that one of the actors has died, its future is uncertain, but I did not enjoy watching a show more this year than this one. and all the memes it inspired too. 

Yes I know it is not technically “this years” show, but who cares, now is when I appreciated it and it’s my list.

ASSHOLE OF THE YEAR – Sen. Joe Manchin (D?-WV)

The one asshole that is holding back one of the most important pieces of legislation since the Affordable Care Act is this asshole from West Virginia, and all of us should be baffled as to why. A great question for another time is “when was the last time Republicans passed any significant legislation, much less a bill that actually helped Americans and made their lives better? So here is President Joe Biden, with a narrow majority in the Senate actually doing the job he was elected to do, and this asshole holding it up like a true loyal Republican.

"I have always said, 'If I can't go back home and explain it, I can't vote for it.' Despite my best efforts, I cannot explain the sweeping Build Back Better Act in West Virginia and I cannot vote to move forward on this mammoth piece of legislation." This is a quote from Manchin. This legislation will improve our crumbling 3^rd world infrastructure, provide for child health care and address climate change, so of course he should be against it, right? 

OK so then explain this: On December 22, 2021, The United Mine Workers of America rallied in support of the Build Back Better Act, and they asked Manchin to support it. Manchin was named an honorary member of the same union last year. I am serious. The Union that supports the biggest industry in his state, that he has made millions off of, is asking him to reassess his position and support the bill. This fucking asshole’s own constituents want him to stop cockblocking Build Back Better. One is compelled to ask, why be against it, other than to play both sides of an extremely divisive political atmosphere and try to insinuate yourself into a greater position of power?  

 MOVIE OF THE YEAR – “Summer of Soul”

 

Now of course I am so into documentary films I can watch a documentary about paint drying, so it is easy to see why I am so biased towards them. Not that there were no good non-doc movies, it’s just that the documentaries I saw were better, and it’s my list. Qwestlove is a great musician, but not someone who I would think I would want to produce a movie for me. But then he finds hours of nearly forgotten footage of the 1969 Harlem Cultural Festival. Mind you, this was the same summer that another certain little music festival was held on a farm close to Woodstock, a few miles north in the same state. 

I sat through this thing not even thinking about when there would be a break in the action and I could look at my phone or go to the kitchen. Every minute of this film was mesmerizing, probably because we had never seen this footage before, or some of these artists in this context (Wait till you hear some of Nina Simone’s remarks).

And then of course, there’s the music…

 DOCUMENTARY OF THE YEAR – “Rompan Todo. The History of Rock in Latin America” - Netflix

I remember television that was not geared towards a specific person, and you watched shit when It came on, not when you wanted to. Now we live in an Orwellian digital world that knows exactly what you like and will give it to you when you want it because its algorithm watches your every move. So thanks for that Netflix. This was the best documentary I saw all year. What I loved the most about it was its thoroughness and how they gave every band their due time and respect, based on (and rightfully so) a combination of musical credibility, with popularity and their influence on other bands. Netflix seems to have someone on the inside who loves Rock en Espanol, because there are a few docs made about these bands on their service. I hope one on Soda Stereo is next.

I’ll talk about “Get Back” some other time

ALBUM OF THE YEAR – Leon Bridges - “Gold-Diggers Sound” and Nas – “Kings Disease II”.  

For the first time in the history of the JB Random Report, it’s a tie…

Both these records were constant play for me this year. Now usually this is where I rant about how public radio is now the only radio that matters, but no one really listens to radio anymore so fuck it. So Leon Bridges has been on my radar for years, he is an awesome neo soul artist that gets no airplay on black radio for some reason. This record was absolutely magnificent, masterfully blending old and new with a unique, original sound. 

And Nas, well, Nas is Nas and always will be. He is the greatest word to word rapper this side of Rakim (Really Jay-Z, chill with your billions and don’t poke this bear, my dude…). The rhymes on this record are all good, and the collaborations flow so smoothly and evenly, not forced or contrived like so many others in hip hop.

COOLEST SONG BY A MAJOR ACT THAT WASN’T A BIG HIT – “The Bandit” – Kings of Leon

I have no idea why this didn’t catch on. It was a cool song that showed that they are growing with their audience. 

Honorable mention goes to “Charming Mess” - The Black Crowes. This wasn’t actually recorded this year, but 30 years ago for their breakthrough debut album “Shake Your Moneymaker” but for inexplicable fucking reason, it didn’t make the cut. So they decided to release some songs from those sessions and this gem was one of them. 

COOLEST SONG OF THE YEAR – “Valentine” – Snail Mail

Yes I know it seems like I’m bandwagon jumping, but other than the constant Facebook ad bombardment, did you even actually listen to this, bro? It really is catchy.

COOLEST SONG OF THE YEAR BY A BAND YOU’VE NEVER HEARD OF – “Across That Fine Line” – Nation of Language 

On an album full of resurrected 80’s drum machine bits, this one stands out for some reason.

COOLEST ACT OF THE YEAR – Leon Bridges

I have been singing (no pun intended) this guy’s praises for years, and I always felt ignored. Ever since I first heard him, I knew he was gonna be great. Neo Soul is quickly becoming a constant on every playlist of mine, and I am totally here for it.I also predict that he is gonna have one of those big Grammy years where people go “who is this dude, why haven’t I heard of him and why is he winning so many Grammys?”

SPORTS TEAM OF THE YEAR – The Milwaukee Bucks NBA

OK so maybe Tom Brady did win his 7^th Super Bowl a feat that will probably never be duplicated, but it’s my list so fuck Tom Brady. And while I’m at it, fuck New England too, just in case Bill Belichick has one more in him.

You know why The Bucks were the team of the year? Because they won their championship the right way. By drafting, being patient, and developing players. Their biggest star, 2 time MVP Giannis Antetokounmpo was drafted by the team and chose to stay in Milwaukee even when more money and a bigger market became available to him. He refused to workout with other big superstars in the offseason, and wouldn’t even think to be a part of a LeBron-esque “Super Team.”

This is what made them such a joy to watch. Admittedly, I had not watched an entire NBA Finals in a while, but thanks to the myriad of new and deadlier COVID variants combined with this team’s story, I did just that. Their story made this series so compelling, that you find yourself rooting for the team, the town, and how they did it.

ATHLETE OF THE YEAR – Stephen Curry, The Golden State Warriors, NBA

Maybe it is a bit premature to crown him MVP just yet. But to come back after such a devastating injury in your thirties, and have the year he is having is nothing short of remarkable. This year he is only breaking the all-time 3 point record, 2^nd in the NBA in scoring, and has his team in 1^st place in their Conference. And that is all without Klay Thomson coming back yet.    

OVERRATED ATHLETE OF THE YEAR – Russell Westbrook, Los Angeles Lakers, NBA.

This one hurts because I love watching this guy do what he does. But he is the ground equivalent to this era what the great Dominique Wilkins was in the air in the 1980’s. Awesome to behold, but just can’t seem to win.

Westbrook was part a team in Oklahoma City that was built the right way (see more below) and along with perennial all-stars James Harden and Kevin Durant they had some great years and were on their way to being an excellent team but for some inexplicable reason, they decided to break the team up. Durant being the only one who has won a Championship. Westbrook is a walking triple-double, and even that doesn’t translate to his teams winning.

This year, he moved to his now 4^th NBA team, to be part of yet another LeBron James “Super Team” (more on that later, too) and that team is barely over .500, and as tough as the Western Conference is, they may not even make the playoffs, much less get out of the first round. Is it Westbrook’s fault? Certainly not, but it’s time to stop calling him a savior. In every team he has been on, a game plan has been tried where he can thrive and win, yet still only one of those things have happened so far.

BELOVED ATHLETE WHO REALLY SHOULD RETIRE –Ummm…I Dunno

So last year I mentioned Drew Breese of the New Orleans Saints just because. For the record, I did not call for him to retire, I just mentioned that everyone else seemed to think he should, and he promptly did. He is great as a broadcaster, btw.

So this year, I am still at odds, but if you force me to pick one, I think I might have to go with Carmelo Anthony. He is currently playing for The Los Angeles Lakers as part of that afore mentioned LeBron-esque super team that isn’t getting it together at all for some reason. Now don’t get it twisted, just because Carmelo may be ring chasing now, that does not take away what an accomplished basketball player he has been. He has been an NCAA Champion, a great player in the league, but what I love most has been his commitment to the USA Men’s National Team and the Olympics.  Carmelo has been a part of USA Basketball since 2004 and continued to play until 2016, something that many professionals cannot claim. 4 medals, 3 Gold and a FIBA Americas title, he wasn’t just there “Dream Team-ing” it, he was dedicated to his country’s team. He will always have my respect for that.  

BIGOTED ASSHOLE OF THE YEAR – Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, R-GA.

This is an easy one. So let’s start with a quote, shall we?

 "America is a nation with a border, and a culture, strengthened by a common respect for uniquely Anglo-Saxon political traditions.”

 Ohh it gets better…

 ”…societal trust and political unity are threatened when foreign citizens are imported en-masse into a country, particularly without institutional support for assimilation and an expansive welfare state to bail them out should they fail to contribute positively to the country."

 This is a direct quote from a charter attempting to organize an “America First” Congressional caucus. A. Direct. Quote. In 2021. This was actually presented to Congress for consideration…in 2021. The founder? Ms. Taylor Greene. If this really needs further explanation, delete your account.

 DEAD PERSON OF THE YEAR – There just can’t be only one…

 We always lose some good ones every year, and lately I have mentioned more than one significant loss in any given year, and I’m afraid this year is no different. But this year’s choices made me realize something that may make me sound like a Boomer but, here it goes…We are losing folks that we genuinely cannot replace because they just don’t make them like that anymore. And by that I mean, totally original, accomplished individuals who were pioneers of their chosen profession. At press time, there are unconfirmed reports that TV icon Betty White is dead, I hope that’s not true…

Let’s start with the most recent ones first. Can anyone replace what John Madden meant, not just to football as a Super Bowl winning coach and a lively broadcaster, but to pop culture in general? Here is a man who re-introduced himself to future generations just by allowing Electronic Arts to use his name to sell a video game. That game is now the most popular sports video game of all time.

Has the world produced another fearless activist to take the place of Nobel Peace Prize winner Bishop Desmond Tutu?

For me personally, the loss of Charlie Watts, drummer of my all-time favorite band The Rolling Stones, was difficult. I saw him play with the band so many times. His steady yet versatile when needed style is something that I do not think the band can find in anyone else.

And while we are on the topic of musicians, why did they still let an 81 year old Vicente Fernandez bring his gun to the stage until his death this year? What if he shot the maracas player?

 

Wishing you all a safe and Happy New Year

The JB Random Report End of the Year Awards 2020

“Well kids, it’s that time of year again, I must say this decade flew by in a flash, and just how the fuck are we still alive?” 

If you remember, this was actually the headline of LAST year’s JB Random Report End of the Year Awards. I used it almost tongue in cheek-ly. Now it really is a question that needs to be asked seriously, even if this has always been a somewhat lighthearted look at the events of the past year… 

NEWS STORY OF THE YEAR – Is There Really Just ONE? 

Has anyone been able to say that they have lived through an odder year than this one? This dumpster fire on the last car of a train wreck in the middle of an erupting volcano of a shitshow that is 2020? I can say this, if there is one thing that this insane year has exposed, is that American civilians really do not know how to handle even the most minimum of pressure, and are willing to risk their lives, and more importantly, the lives of the most vulnerable, to maintain even the most minimum of their life’s comforts. 

This has to illustrate to you that Americans are inherently unhappy, and the only thing that keeps them from jumping out of windows is their ability to drink heavily in public and buy shit they don’t need so they can hoard it in space that they do not have. As of today, COVID-19 cases in the United States are at 19,923,169, with 305,015 deaths. Is going to Walmart in your bad pajamas really that important, y’all? 

Of course there was the election. That was big, but look what America had to live through for 4 years before they finally made not only the right decision, but the only decision that would not lead to basically the end of democracy in this country. (See JB Random Report, 11/08/2020). Seriously, we should not have to be dragged out into the street crying before we do the right thing, yet that seems to be the case in more scenarios than one. So what happened to us? 

Oh, and let me just make thinking people feel better with this last bit. So here is the Trump Presidency by the numbers: 

$21 Trillion in debt. The largest in United States history 

0 The amount of “better” health care plans to replace Obamacare 

315 Golf trips at a cost of $ 141 million to the US taxpayer 

22,247 lies and/or misleading claims 

215 Criminal indictments of advisors and associates 

28 pardons mostly to loyalists 

14.7% Highest unemployment rate since the Great Depression 

These are numbers, they are objective. These are facts, no amount of pardons can take away that truth; and the truth is that Trump totally abused and distorted the spirit of the pardon power from correcting injustices, to rewarding those who were loyal to him. How is that the American way? If you want to know why we are no longer being taken seriously as the example of Democracy in the world, look no further than this orange asshole. I really cannot wait until he is in prison. 

And you know what the saddest part of this prologue is? I didn’t even mention the historical racial unrest, the killings of innocent people of color that went largely unpunished this year, setting our society back another 50 years. And it is that type of thinking that not even numbers and facts can change in a single generation.

PERSON(S) OF THE YEAR – President Elect Joe Biden and Vice President Elect Kamala Harris

I really fucking hate it when I agree with Time magazine, not because they are not to be agreed with, but because it seems almost unoriginal and uninspired. But I cannot deny that the people that went through the most to achieve the highest of highs this year were indeed Joe Biden and Kamala Harris. I guess Time magazine has its reasons, but I want to express mine, without outside influence and just observe how after they won, people took to the streets cheering, reporters literally shed tears because they no longer felt afraid for their children for just existing as people of color. 

But the most significant thing was how we were almost instantly, returned to a political normalcy that was not racist or corrupt; not devoid of fact or intelligence. A political normalcy that knew that the Earth was flat and we really did land on the Moon in 1969; that spoke to us with eloquence; with more than a limited, third grade vocabulary and intellect. This had to quietly comfort even Trump’s supporters, who know that even they are better off without this unhinged maniac having the nuclear launch codes. 

TV SHOW OF THE YEAR – Well… 

I have to say that for someone who doesn’t really watch a lot of TV, I most certainly fucking did this year. What I have noticed is that shows that everyone are talking about one minute, seem to disappear the next minute. This of course comes from an over abundance of choices. Streaming services have so much programming it is impossible to watch it all, so it becomes more difficult to pick the best one. So I found myself watching a lot of documentary series’ on Netflix (Thanx, Stephanie!) so I cannot really say that I saw a produced TV series that I enjoyed enough to remember. Maybe next year. Sorry folks… 

 ASSHOLE OF THE YEAR – Senator Mitch McConnell (R-KY) 

So last year, he was our illustrious runner up. This year, Rudy Giuliani had the award all to himself, and let me count the ways, but just when you thought Rudy with his bad hair dye, maniacal gaze and unzipped pants alone in a hotel room with what he thought was a teenaged girl would pull this one out (no pun intended), at the 11th hour, Senator Mitch McConnell steps up to overtake him with a degree of asshole only seen in history books. How can you justify blocking $2000 stimulus checks to Americans when the unemployment rate is at a record high because of the pandemic you chose to ignore? I am serious, this is happening in 2020. 

Now, much like LeBron James or Mike Trout, this award can be given every year to perennial asshole Donald Trump, so it becomes necessary to change it up a bit once in a while. However, this is Moscow Mitch’s second award, so he is certainly dedicated to destroying whatever legacy he may have left. 

OVERUSED PHRASE OF THE YEAR – “Peak 2020” 

When even Alex Rodriguez says it during a baseball game broadcast, it’s time to retire this bad boy. Nothing against A-Rod (in fact, if I may add, I think he is doing a great job as a broadcaster) it’s just that once a phrase shows up there, it’s time for it to die. And while this year may be over, for some odd reason I believe that this one may live on for years to come, just to remind us of what a shit year this actually was, and just in case we may need a comparison point to any other shitty things that may occur later on in history. 

MOVIE OF THE YEAR – “The Midnight Sky” 

For the first time I can remember, I did not even visit a movie theater this year, so this one may not get the usual response. I did not subscribe to any additional streaming services, but I do have Netflix thanks to my “Comadre” (If ya don’t know look it up) so most of the new stuff I was able to watch came from there. 

So I actually only saw this film a few days ago, and it was so compelling that it shot up to the top of my list. I have a complicated relationship with the Science Fiction genre, because like action films, I get very angry when they insult my intelligence, and yet, most times, that is their very function in life. Then something like “The Avengers” or the “Star Wars” franchise comes along, and yes, you have to suspend some level of reality, but not that much that you become ashamed of yourself. 

Now the Sci-Fi film in an arthouse forum, is very difficult to do well (think “Ex Machina” or “Moon”). And yet here is director George Clooney, proving once again that there is very little he cannot do in film. 

I want to give an honorable mention shout out to that second “Borat” movie, just for exposing that idiot criminal Rudy Giuliani as a sexual pervert and cad. 

DOCUMENTARY OF THE YEAR – “The Last Dance.” 

There were so many interesting ones on not only Netflix, but on HBO as well. However, this time I am afraid that it is ESPN that gets the nod from me this year. 

Those of us who know sports, have always known how competitive Michael Jeffery Jordan was as a player. I personally am a University of North Carolina fan because of him. Even though I was never a Chicago Bulls fan, I still marveled at watching Jordan play, and I was able to 8 times during his career. 4 times as a Chicago Bull, and 4 times in Barcelona at the 1992 Summer Olympic Games. 

What we did not know, was what a petty, insecure asshole Jordan was, and this film brings that to light in a way that no other piece ever has, and you wanna know what’s even better? Jordan…had final cut of the film! That means, he got to edit out anything that he thought would make him look bad! That’s right! Jordan only agreed to do the film if it made him look good, and he STILL came off as an asshole! 

Do you realize how high your asshole factor must be if that is the case? And that is what makes this film so great; that in spite of Jordan’s attempts to slant this film in the most positive light possible for him, he fails, and that leads to an objective film that answers a lot of questions that anyone may have had about that most magical time of basketball in the 90’s. 

To his credit, Jordan addresses, if not totally answers, all those hard questions of his playing days (his gambling, his relationships with other players, etc.), you gotta give him that. But what I loved the most, is that the film remembers that there was a 1980s’ Michael Jordan, not just a 1990’s Michael Jordan that was winning all the time. There was a Jordan that was coming up at the same time as Hip Hop and sneaker culture, and like it or not, we were gonna associate one with the other. Of course he could have done a lot more to embrace that, but that is another discussion, for another time. Even if you do not like sports and cannot sit through 10 hours of this (I most certainly can, but that’s just me) just watch the one sequence where it’s Jordan’s highlights from the 80’s with “I Ain’t No Joke” by Eric B & Rakim as a soundtrack. If you are not totally taken back to that time, then you were never there brah…we not the same… 

 ALBUM OF THE YEAR – “Color Theory” Soccer Mommy 

I think that had we not gone through all this madness, 2020 would have been known as another year of recognizing women in music. So many great albums were released by female led acts it was hard to pick just one that spoke to me more than the others, but this one did. There was a roughness and subtle melodic breeze to this record, and it is what I enjoyed listening the most to this year. 

And this is where you cue my rant about how today’s music is complete shit as evidenced by what is being played on the radio, and great acts can only get radio airplay on the only radio station that even pretends to play music that matters, 90.7 WFUV, here in New York City. 

COOLEST SONG BY A MAJOR ACT THAT WASN’T A BIG HIT – “Murder Most Foul” – Bob Dylan 

And this is where you cue my rant about how today’s music is complete shit as evidenced by what is being played on the radio, and great acts can only get radio airplay on the only radio station that even pretends to play music that matters, 90.7 WFUV, here in New York City (Shit...I said that already). Sorry, but it's just that for yet another year, the year’s most interesting song was not played on any other radio station. Now, there are some traditional detractions, one being that song is like 16 minutes long, but still. 

Honorable mention goes to “Didn’t Wanna Be This Lonely” by The Pretenders and that Bo Diddley beat, yeah! 

COOLEST SONG OF THE YEAR – “Money” - Widowspeak 

There was something about the riff I just couldn’t get enough of. I guess that’s what is known as a catchy riff. I would have chosen this as the winner for the next category one spot down, but I listened to enough music this year to not have to. 

COOLEST SONG OF THE YEAR BY A BAND YOU’VE NEVER HEARD OF – “Dying to Believe” – The Beths 

I actually loved this whole album too, so yet another entry by a great female band that you’ve never heard of, but should. 

COOLEST ACT OF THE YEAR – Orville Peck 

Technically his record came out last year. But still in a year where nothing new or interesting could happen or even be noticed, he was delightfully weird. Lil Nas X would have won this for the same reason had we had the pandemic last year instead of in 2020. 

SPORTS TEAM OF THE YEAR – The Kansas City Chiefs, NFL 

Patrick Mahomes is a bit of an anomaly, because he is actually more than his hype. In only now three seasons, he already has an MVP and a Super Bowl win. I wanted him for the category below, but I hate how the NFL splits its season. Technically, the Chiefs are last year’s Super Bowl winners, but come on, who is believing that shit? The game itself was won in 2020 so fuck you NFL! 

The reason why my pick is KC is that for so many years, this team did everything they could to win. They never tanked to get any player in the draft, and never disrespected their fans. For years I saw this team go 13-3 and still not make it far in the playoffs. I saw an aging but still very effective Joe Montana take them to a conference finals what seems like centuries ago.

Now with Mahomes being the best player in the Universe, along with arguably the greatest tight end in Travis Kelce and a fearless wide receiver in Tyreek Hill, this team is gonna be a problem for years to come, not just because all these guys are signed for a while, but because unlike the dynasties in New England, these guys actually like Head Coach Andy Reid. 

ATHLETE OF THE YEAR – LeBron James, Los Angeles Lakers, NBA 

Like it or not, did anyone have a better year, and has anyone, at least in the NBA, ever been this effective at 36 years old? Add that along with having to play in the NBA’s “Bubble” for a few months, and bringing a championship to his team and city. I’d say all things considered this guy did all he could to bring the public his sport. 

OVERRATED ATHLETE OF THE YEAR – Ben Simmons, Philadelphia 76ers, NBA 

 He doesn’t have a jump shot. He is not gonna get a jump shot. He is a good player, but stop wondering if you can build a team around him. You can’t. 

BELOVED ATHLETE WHO REALLY SHOULD RETIRE – Ummm…I Dunno 

Really, I mean who had a season long enough to be considered a bad one? You wanna say Drew Breese of the New Orleans Saints? But why? He was having a great year till he got hurt and can still play for a few more years. So yeah, I got nothing here either. 

BIGOTED ASSHOLE OF THE YEAR – I May Not Know or Even Care About His Name, But He Brought Me Joy 

I have always kept this award, and quite frankly, this blog, a bit lighthearted as we have enough reality to deal with that can anger us to a boiling point. This year however, I could get serious about this one, because many racist assholes this year caused genuine damage to the lives of people of color unlike any year in recent memory, but I think I’ll stick with tradition and go with the stupid white guy who got whacked in the face with a can of iced tea for hurling racial slurs in a bodega (wrong place to do that son). Seriously, what made a white person think that they can incorporate that word? Without getting into a debate about it, white folks…you cannot. 

Personally I’m a Snapple guy, I never messed with Twisted Iced Tea until this brother, a hero without a cape 

DEAD PERSON OF THE YEAR – Too Many to Count, So I’ll Let You Pick 

In the most bizarre year that I have ever lived through, one of the things that made it so was the myriad of people who dropped dead this year. And I’m not just talking about “celebrities” for fame alone's sake. I mean people of real significance; that brought people a lot of joy with what they decided to do with their lives and what they decided to share. 

But if I had to just go off the top of my head, I would say that many significant deaths came in both the sports and the music worlds. Coach John Thomson, the great Tom Seaver, Whitey Ford, the larger than life Diego Maradona and of course Kobe Bryant. 

Chadwick Boseman and Alex Trebek brought people a lot of joy. 

Eddie Van Halen, Little Richard and John Prine meant a great deal to me as a music fan, as did Rita Houston of WFUV. 

Ruth Bader Ginsberg was well, the most necessary entity and life that we lost last year, with the civil rights icon and Congressman Rep. John Lewis being right there with her. 

Personally, I also had some losses, but I’ll keep those to myself except for one who was a public figure, the one and only Miguel Algarin. 

I got nothin’ else folks. To be honest, I, like you, am pretty exhausted. Think I’ll go watch some meaningless Bowl games and be thankful for all that I do have, instead of mourning the loss of things that maybe weren’t so necessary, and the going to of places that I never really liked in the first place. 

Here’s hoping the New Year brings you everything you want