For those offended by the Opening Ceremony of the Paris 2024
Olympics, I already addressed how stupid you are on facebook, no need to
embarrass you again here.
Who would have thought that in 2024, the most wholesome
images of the Olympics would include Snoop Dogg and Flava Flav (who, in case
you do not know, helped finance the US Women’s Water Polo team). How could
anyone possible have guessed that Snoop showing up to events and commentating
on them, even the ones he knew absolutely nothing about, would be exactly what
the Olympics needed? And you know he must have lit a spliff with that Olympic
torch cuz, come on, he’s still Snoop.
So, Suni Lee is my girlfriend, she just doesn’t know it yet.
The US Women’s Gymnastics Team was pretty much the story of
week 1, and they should be. Nicknamed “The Golden Girls” due to their average
age of 22.1 years being kinda old for the Olympics (can you imagine that?),
they none the less dominated the games and walked away with the team gold, and
7 more medals combined. Way to go for a bunch of senior citizens.
Simone Biles will now go down in history as one of the
greatest Olympians in the world. And deservedly so. If you don’t know her
records, look them up (talking to you JD Vance). Seriously anyone thinking that
it is “weak” to take care of your mental health is the one who most needs help.
To say that about an Olympic athlete representing your country is just such a
douchebag move and typical of an incel who hates successful women because they
rejected him in high school.
Rebeca Andrade of Brazil is the future of women’s
gymnastics. This is such a cool picture I really hope Jordan Chiles wins her
appeal, I don’t want her to lose her medal because someone made a 4 second
mistake correcting the bigger mistake made by a judge.
Then there was boxer Imane Khelif of Algeria, who had her
gender questioned because she was beating her opponent so bad that she quit in
the ring. OK so let’s keep this simple, if you were born with a vagina, do you
know what that makes you? Yeah, a female. Not gonna get into a debate about it
here, sorry. The problem stems from a test administered by the International
Boxing Association that found anomalies in first her chromosomes (OK and how
exactly did they test that?) then in high levels of testosterone (OK that could
be due to steroids, not a penis). It should be noted that the IBA has been
banned by the Olympics since 2019. This unintentionally sparked a debate
amongst the ill-informed about LGBTQ+ rights and gender identity. Something
that wasn’t even a controversy here. And let’s not forget that Ms. Khelif has
lost 9 fights in her career, and she represents Algeria, a predominantly Muslim
country that does not recognize LGBTQ+ rights, and would have stoned her in
public before letting her compete as anything but a woman. She won the gold
btw…
On to week 2
How awesome was it for The Dominican Republic to finally win
a gold? With the most Dominican name in the history of Dominican names, Marileidy
Paulino, won the 400m.
I love the Olympics. It is one of the few times that you can
see other people root for their country and you smile because you know the
story behind the athlete. However, why the fuck is rock climbing an Olympic
sport?
Track and Field was, once again, dominated by the US, particularly
the women’s side. Sydney McLaughlin-Levrone, Sha’Carri Richardson, and Gabby
Thomas, along with the men’s team, totally represented, winning 34 medals. Gabby
Thomas not only won 3 gold medals, but she is the finest example of what
America has to offer. She also went to Harvard and has a master's degree in
epidemiology. I’m sure the Trump/Vance ticket sees her as a DEI hire…
For someone who was born and raised in New York City, I was
actually ok with breakdancing as a competition, even though I do not know if it
will last. Both Gold medal winners deserved it, but could still benefit from watching
the battle scene at the Roxy in “Beat Street.” Being a new sport however, did
provide for some growing pains, and while I don't wanna pile up on the
hate, “b-girl Raygun” from Australia really should have though it out more. I
know she was the best qualifier in the region, but that performance was the whitest thing I’ve
seen since raisins in potato salad…
Basketball’s results were predictable enough, but I must say
the games did provide for some tense moments. People are saying that Steph
Curry’s performance was worthy of an MVP. I just think he was the “designated
non-partyer” the night before all those games that he excelled in (thanx HM).
Then there was the Closing ceremony which was
uncharacteristically pretty cool. H.E.R. and Phoenix performed in Paris, while
Snoop (who I guess got home on the space shuttle) Dre and The Red Hot Chili
Peppers performed in LA. And then of course there was Tom Cruise. Who completed
the handover of the Olympic flag by doing Tom Cruise-ish, Tom Cruise stuff.
Seriously how is that dude still alive?
To say that Donald Trump is an unhinged sociopathic
narcissist is nothing new, but what should concern us all is that even after a
felony conviction, his bootlickers will not denounce him. That is because his
fascist cult controls the GOP, and they are so hungry for power that they are
willing to continue to support this unfit criminal even when they know how
badly he can damage the country. And ultimately whose fault is this? The
Democratic Party. In 2000 the clear winner of the popular vote in the
presidential election, Al Gore, conceded the election to that idiot George W
Bush, not because he felt he lost, but because he did not want to plunge the
nation into a Constitutional crisis. This is where a light bulb went off in the
GOP. They realized that if they just whine and cry hard enough, gentleman politicians
who care more about the nation than their own thirst for power, will just
concede. Donald Trump’s accent to power is the result of that. If this does not
change, it will put the worst President in U.S. history back in power in 2024.
Donald Trump’s political career should have ended at “grab
them by the pussy” in 2016, but it did not. Why? Because no one with any real
political power called him out on this. Because not enough women in his own
party stood up to this sexual batterer, and he became president.
Now I have tried for years to analyze how that the same
nation that elected a Nobel Prize winning Constitutional scholar also elected an
84 times indicted, twice impeached, lying, ignorant, racist, fascist, misogynistic,
xenophobic, unqualified, pussy grabbing, 5 time draft dodging coward, useful
idiot Russian asset, convicted felon, sexual batterer, and criminal traitor with
American blood on his tiny, incompetent hands, without a doubt and by far, the
worst President in the history of the United States? The simple answer crystalized
itself in an instant: In a country where a large portion of the population is
lazy and uneducated, it is far easier to just vote for the guy who hates what
you hate, and fears what you fear. This conclusion should have come to me much
earlier, given the fact that this is nothing new, and history has a tendency to
repeat itself (think Germany in 1933).
So I waited until Trump’s response to his conviction in
order to comment on the case, and his response was classic Trump: blaming
everyone else, taking no accountability for his crimes, saying the system is
rigged, blaming the judge (who was quite reserved, if you know anything about
courtroom procedure) and just being the whiny bitch lying coward that he is. He
then proceeded to call the United States, a “fascist” country, and that’s when
I started paying attention. This was an odd statement coming from an idiot that
does not even know what that word means, and stated that if re-elected, he
would become a dictator on day one. Not one, NOT ONE prominent GOPer denounced
this statement. Not one. This tells you all you need to know about what they
stand for.
They seem to have no problem defending him however. On CNN
today, JD Vance (R-Ohio) ass-kissing for a potential Vice Presidential nod on
the Trump ticket, refused to address Trump’s statements and instead call out
Judge Juan Merchan because he donated $15 to the Democratic party in 2020. This
is not any proof whatsoever that the judge acted partially. If you look at the facts, it was quite the opposite. If that were the
case, then no judge should be allowed to vote? In fact, if you observed the
judge’s reactions to Trump’s antics, he was actually more than fair. What a
shithead. See? This is why I cannot do Wolf Blitzer’s job. If my parents were
Holocaust survivors, and this asshole is on my show not denouncing Trump’s “fascist
country” comments, I would have reacted a bit differently. I am also wondering
if Vance is calling for Clarence Thomas and Samuel Alito to recuse themselves
from any case involving Trump, considering their well-documented biases? I
guess “law and order” only applies when it agrees with you politically?
As for the conviction itself, it should have immediately
disqualified him from going anywhere near the White House, but it has not.
Ironic that as per the rules, he couldn’t serve on his own staff with a felony
conviction. Ultimately what did this conviction do? Nothing. Those who support
him still do, and choose to blame the system and not the criminal.
Looking ahead, there are considerably more serious crimes
that he is charged with, such as election tampering and voter fraud, not to
mention the illegal storing of classified documents. This seems not to bother
his cult at all, but it should deeply concern the rest of us. The documents case
in Florida is being stalled by a Trump appointee judge, and the rest of the cases
are being delayed by Trump’s attorneys. This man is a clear existential threat
to democracy, and his cult doesn’t care, I just hope enough of the rest of us do.
What is it good for? Absolutely nothing. Really. That’s it.The world is literally at war
everywhere. Whether its everyday wars in nations that mainstream media doesn’t
care about, tensions in the South China
Sea, Vladimir Putin’s war in Ukraine,
or Israel pretty much decimating the
Gaza Strip, the World is becoming a
dangerous place rather quickly.
What is so compelling about both these latter conflicts, is
that they are so deep-rooted it doesn’t look there will be a peaceful ending in
sight any time soon. Putin is a megalomaniacal dictator with no one close to
him willing to tell him the truth, which if historically symmetrical, will end
with him in a bunker shooting himself and his girlfriend, as Allied troops close in.
Israel however, presents a much more complicated problem.
The Western states have stood by Israel for decades, and rightfully so. After World War II the creation of a Jewish
state was necessary. To say that anyone else “was there first” is actually
misleading, given the fact that the Dome
of the Rock is built on the Temple
Mount (look it up, I’m exhausted). However, just because you may agree with
Israel’s right to exist, and to defend itself, that does not mean you have to
just blindly agree with how they are
defending themselves. And that is where I have a problem.
The images coming from Gaza of dead children are disturbing
to say the least, and if it is terrorism you are fighting, then hearts and
minds must be won (a lesson that the
United States failed to learn in Iraq
and Afghanistan), and you do not
win them by killing children or attacking hospitals. Yes Hamas has illegally used hospitals as headquarters, but these
people are terrorists, they will not follow the rules of war or the Geneva Convention. Israel is a
recognized state, and they are not behaving like one. And what is worse, from a
tactical standpoint, Israel has one of the best Special Forces units in the
world, and should have used them in operations to mitigate civilian casualties.
Yes that is a risk, but that is the obligation of a civilized nation, and
Israel is failing in that regard. So much so, that they have garnered sympathy
for a terrorist organization like Hamas, here in the US, and that can be very
dangerous.
Remember Americans
love to have something to scream about, even if they have no idea what the fuck
it is. Just last week there was a march on 5th Avenue, right in
front of the Christmas season
tourists, that began as a pro-peace demonstration, and ended up being peppered
with signs of “Fuck Israel” and sympathy towards the government of Gaza, which
is run by Hamas. So Israel’s actions have gotten the ignorant woke mob to
support a terrorist organization. Please do better.
QUOTE OF THE YEAR – “Deeming
race irrelevant in law does not make it so in life.”
—U.S. Supreme Court
Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson, dissenting opinion on Students for Fair Admissions Inc. v. President and Fellows of Harvard
College, June 29, 2023.
If there is one quote that perfectly summarizes what we are
going through as a nation right now, it is this one. My God we were so close.
To go back so far so fast, is something I never thought I would see happen to a
country I love so much. Who would have thought that in only 5 short years, we
would once again be a nation that unfairly levels the playing field in
academia, and would deny a woman the right to choose what to do with her own
body? Still think your vote doesn’t matter? How is that fashionable
indifference and neutrality working for you now? If you do not know the
importance of this particular Supreme
Court decision, I don’t have the time or the energy, so look it up. If you
are a person of color and still don’t know what it is, shame on you.
TV SHOW
OF THE YEAR – “Only Murders in the Building”
I would have thought that by now the same premise would not
be entertaining anymore, but these people just seem to find a way to make this
show so enjoyable every time. This year saw the participation of Paul Rudd and the great
Meryl Streep. I think eventually they are gonna run out of people to kill,
but this is a fun show to watch.
ASSHOLE OF THE YEAR – Rudolph Giuliani
I cannot be the only one who remembers how admired this man
once was. How he held New York City
together after 9/11. How he brought
down the Mafia as a prosecutor in
the 1980’s. Never has the expression “how the mighty have fallen” ever been
better personified.
What is worse, is that I will never understand the “why” of
it all. Why would such a seemingly intelligent man hitch his wagon so firmly
behind a criminal traitor and blissful incompetent like Donald Trump (runner up for this award this year, btw)? Not only
that, but even after he declared his loyalty to his Fuhrer, he had so many
chances to bow out, but instead doubled down and is now facing disbarment,
bankruptcy, losing court verdicts, and possibly even jail time. I usually have
no problem laughing at people like this, but this time I actually feel a little
bad for this guy. OK…whew! That passed…yeah he is still an asshole…
PERSON OF THE YEAR – Jerome Powell, Chairman of the Federal Reserve
If there is one thing I HATE is agreeing with any other
publication but my own, and I hate it even more when another publication beats
me to the punch. So glad to say that, TIME
Magazine’s Person of the Year, is Taylor
Swift and mine…is not. No hate, but it’s just not.
I know many of you have probably never heard of him, but let
me tell you why Jerome Powell, who has been Chairman of the Federal Reserve
since February 2018, has won this award: For some inexplicable, non fact based
reason, inflation is something that President
Joe Biden’s critics have been blaming him for, even though Biden doesn’t
regulate prices. If he did, the GOP would cry too much regulation, the same way
they criticized him last year for, and I’m serious, gas prices being too low, after they were at first too
high. Powell, unconcerned with politics, has played a key role managing high
inflation in the U.S. One his subtle strategies was the concept of something
called a“soft landing.” This, in theory, reduces inflation by raising interest
rates without causing a recession. If you have ever taken economics, you know
this is no easy task. At the beginning of the year, Republicans were animatedly
reminding the country how high and out of control inflation was, not hearing
much about that now are we? Well you can thank Mr. Powell and his policy for that.
The purchasing power of the United States and the World economies that depend
on it are also grateful I’m sure
BIGOTED ASSHOLE OF THE YEAR - Vivek Ramaswamy, PoliticianGOP
Presidential Candidate
OK so this asshole is at such a high level of
asshole-ishness, that sometimes I think he is some sort of parody or a CIA plant. Seriously have you ever seen
such a level of unaware self-loathing on someone who isn’t pathologically
insane? The fact that he doesn’t realize that he is merely a Desi Uncle Tom that the GOP just likes to watch dance and will
never take him or his candidacy seriously is enough to make this guy a sad
clown. Then, instead of acknowledging his diversity he actually doubles down on
GOP hate by saying that even children of immigrants born in the US should not
be here, seemingly blissfully unaware that he wouldn’t be here if that were the
case. Maybe he is a vampire and cannot see his own brown ass in a mirror.
OVERUSED PHRASE OF THE YEAR – “Rizz”
OK I know this is short for “charisma” for you young folks,
but maybe think this through a little more. Change one letter and this takes on
a whole different meaning.
MOVIE OF THE YEAR – “Asteroid City”
Look everyone knows that I am a huge fan of Wes Anderson, and that even his
lesser-received films are classics to me. I was hyped just to see Tom Hanks delivering dead pan lines a
la Anderson, and I have to say I wasn’t disappointed. And yeah, a well-placed Scarlett Johansson nude scene certainly
doesn’t hurt either.
ALBUM OF THE YEAR – “Hackney Diamonds” – The Rolling Stones.
Ok hear me out: So Paul
McCartney plays bass on a song on this album. Ringo is still alive and doesn’t seem to be busy right now. Bill Wyman is retired and Charlie Watts is dead…see where I’m going
with this? I even have a great name for this supergroup that incorporates both
their bands. How about The Rolling Bones?
Get it? They’re old! Ok, don’t unfriend me…
When I thought about this particular entry, I really had to
ask myself whether or not I was being objective. See, this is my all-time
favorite band, and I didn’t want to give them this award unless this album
really was the best music I had heard all year. A year that had some pretty
good stuff come out. Truth is, I didn’t wanna give them this award, but the
record is just too good. I was also thinking maybe next year I’ll make this
section a “Top 3” or something, because Bully,
Depeche Mode, Foo Fighters, and The
National all made really memorable albums this year.
COOLEST SONG BY A MAJOR BAND OR ACT THAT WASN’T A BIG HIT – “Under You” – Foo Fighters.
They are already talking about “But Here We Are” for Rock album of the year. I personally have a
different choice, but this record is still awesome. I, as all other music heads
are aware, realize that Rock music has gone the way of great jazz music: only
appreciated now by a learned few, but I am still surprised that this record
didn’t make more of an impact this year. Yes I know that “Rescued” seems to be the song that is getting its proverbial ass
kissed on social media, but this one is my favorite. It just sounds so much
like the band I always knew, and that is very comforting in an age of such
shitty Pop music. Honorable mention goes to “Somewhere” by Johnny Marr.
COOLEST SONG OF THE YEAR – “103” – The Kills.
I knewvery
little about this band until this song seemed to just hypnotize me. Oh and
honorable mention goes to “Mourning
Dove” by Screaming Females, and “Tropic Morning News” by The National.
COOLEST ACT OF THE YEAR – The National.
Other bands had a great year as afore mentioned, but this
band released not one, but two albums in this calendar year, and they were both
really good. Being called “Dad Rock” if Dad is the only one with a functioning,
articulate brain is not ageism I guess.
BOOK OF THE YEAR-
“Tuesdays With Morrie” – Mitch Albom
I always admit that for someone with a library at home, I
really do not read many newly released titles. This year was no exception. I
read nothing published this year, sorry.
However, on my way out the door on my way to the airport, I
decided to take “Tuesdays With Morrie,“ a book first published in 1997, off my
shelf because it was an easy to carry paperback and I had never gotten around
to reading it. How pleasantly surprised I was.
SPORTS TEAM OF THE YEAR
– The Denver Nuggets NBA
Watching any franchise win their first ever championship is a cool
thing, even if you are not a fan of the team. The Nuggets have had many good
teams throughout the years. I remember the high scoring teams of Alex English in the 1980’s, and the
athletic team lead by Dikembe Mutombo,
Robert Pack and Mahmoud Abdul Rauf
that upset the #1 seed Seattle
Supersonics in the 1994 playoffs. This incarnation is not nearly as flashy,
but they can certainly play. Led by Nikola
Jokic this team just makes it look easy, and they do it quietly. They
dominated the whole season with little fanfare, on their way to the franchise’s
first ever championship.
ATHLETE OF THE YEAR – Naoya Inoue, Boxing
When was the last time Japan gave us a legit champion caliber
boxer? This guy is rewriting history either way, and I already wanna give him
that whole “pound for pound” thing.
So in 2022 he becomes the champ at 118 pounds, and decides
why not jump to 122, just for the fun of it, right? Well why just do that when
you can fight Stephen Fulton, the
champion at 122, in less than a year? So what does Inoue do? Hands him an 8
round beating and relieves him of his belts. And why settle for that when you
can just, in your next fight, unify the belts by beating Marlon Tapales? So yeah he did that too. Other than that, did
anyone else notice this guy? Don’t worry, you will this year.
DEAD PERSON OF THE YEAR – I always start this entry reflecting
on not just one person, because a loss is only measured by how much the person
who is gone has meant to society, or to our own lives, and that can mean so
many people to so many people, know what I mean? This year, I really can’t come
up with just one person that has meant a monumental loss to society.
Tina Turner was a significant loss to
music. Norman Lear pretty much
changed how the entire world watches television. Justice Sandra Day O’Connor made history as the first woman ever to
be appointed to the Supreme Court, and Rosalynn
Carter made the world a better place alongside her husband, President Jimmy Carter, in the second act of his
life as an activist and statesman, who even at his advanced age, was still seen
working on construction sites of housing for the homeless. Keep them all in
your heart should you chose to do so…
Here’s hoping the New Year brings you everything you want!
Well kids, it’s that
time of year again, so let’s do some reflecting, shall we?
NEWS STORY OF THE YEAR – Inflation
Everything is more expensive, isn’t it? Yea, and it’s
happening slowly enough for you not to notice. Look, let me make a suggestion
to you: Never stop going to the market to get your own groceries. It is the
only way to remain in touch with what is going on in the world, let me tell you
why. There are two places where inflation is felt almost immediately, and that
is the supermarket and the gas station. You can listen to all these so-called
financial gurus all you want, but the best way to really monitor the pulse of
this or any nation’s economy is at the two places aforementioned. Right now,
prices at both are incredibly high and you should be demanding more answers
considering that jobs are available and corporate gains are at record highs.
Yes I am taking a bit of an over-simplified approach to this
issue, but that is only because the common working individual is doing the same
thing, and it is their perception that ultimately matters.
PERSON OF THE YEAR – President Volodymyr Zelenskyy of Ukraine
I really fucking hate it when I agree with Time magazine, not because they are not
to be agreed with, but because it seems almost unoriginal and uninspired. But I
cannot deny it, yet again, that they go this one right.
This man has shown incredible resilience and courage staying
in his worn torn country to fight off Russian aggression. For a guy who started
off as a TV comedian, he is now standing very much on the front lines of this
war. A war where he is heavily outnumbered and outgunned. Yet a war that his
country seems to be winning. It was inspiring to see him speak to Congress here
in the US a few weeks ago.
Zelenskyy also gave us the quote of the year, by the way
(see below).
QUOTE OF THE YEAR - President
Volodymyr Zelenskyy of Ukraine
When asked by representatives of the United States
government if he would like to be evacuated from his war torn country, Ukrainian
President Volodymyr Zelenskyy replied, “The
fight is here. I need ammunition, not a ride” If this guy survives this
war, he is gonna be president a long time.
TV SHOW
OF THE YEAR –“Extraordinary
Attorney Woo” – Netflix
The premise of this show is very plausible, and contrary to
the show’s critics, I do not think that the topic of mental illness was handled
irresponsibly. When you decide to deal with such a controversial theme, you
will undoubtedly have critics. That aside, what can I say…18 episodes and I
cried at least once in every one of them. Guess I’m just a tender hearted
person. Right?
ASSHOLE OF THE YEAR – Donald Trump
People often tell me, “Jes, why continue to pick on Trump?
He is done.” Well is he really? Yes it is true that even his cowardly enablers
and ass-kissers in Congress like Mitch McConnell have said that he “no
longer has the political clout he once did.” That is no reason to think that
someone as pathologically narcissistic as Trump would believe that he is done. I
mean, in case you missed it, he did announce that he was running for President
again in 2024.
On Friday six years of Trump tax returns were finally
released to the public, and I must say they raise considerably more questions
than answers. This is probably why Trump had fought so hard to keep them from
the public. Why did he still have foreign bank accounts as president? Why did
he pay no taxes in 2020, the last year of his presidency?
This asshole is the subject of at least four major
investigations into wrongdoing relating to his handling of White House documents, the election, the insurrection, and his
finances. The most significant cases being in Florida; Fulton County, Georgia; Washington, DC; and New York.
Trump's business was also convicted in state court in Manhattan for a payroll tax-dodge
scheme, earning the company felony status and a likely $1.6 million fine.
Then there is a civil lawsuit state Attorney General Letitia James filed Wednesday against Donald
Trump, his businesses and several of his children over alleged fraud. And
that’s just this week!
Prior to this most recent lawsuit, Trump has been involved
in 22 criminal and civil legal investigations, 19 of which are currently
ongoing. I wanted to give you a few sentences on each one so that my readers
could have a better understanding of them, but it’s just too fucking
exhausting, Google that shit. That’s
what search engines are for…
VIRAL CLIP OF THE YEAR – The Wednesday Addams Dance Scene – “Wednesday” Netflix
I really debated whether or not this should even be a
category, but how can you not love this clip? I know it’s kinda bandwagon
jumping, but the fact that it brought a great underrated band like The Cramps back on the pop culture radar
is a bit similar to Kate Bush’s much
deserved resurrection because of “Stranger
Things.”
So go ahead Jenna Ortega/Wednesday
Adams, the moment may only last 15 minutes according to Warhol, but it is most certainly yours…
BOOK OF THE YEAR – “Surrender: 40 Songs, One Story“ - Bono
Just cuz it was the only new book I read this year, doesn’t
mean it wasn’t entertaining. If you are a songwriter, you have to be very
careful not to think you are a novelist. It is, a totally different discipline.
You are more of a poet. However, Bono
does manage to pull it off.
First of all, he is a great storyteller, so that helps. Not
everyone’s life is interesting, so if you are going to write something
autobiographical, you can epically fail if you do not know when and how to
embellish, and when and how to be poetic. I have to say this book did keep me
reading it, so I guess that really is all that matters isn’t it?
MOVIE OF THE YEAR –“Everything
Everywhere All at Once”
Ok so I had no idea that this movie even existed, much less
had come out this year. I was on a 14 hour flight from JFK to Tokyo when I
figured that I might as well watch a movie. The idea of Multiverses (more than
one Universe existing at the same time. Longer conversation required) has
always been fascinating to me.
This film is not a documentary however, it is a work of
fiction that tells a story within that idea. I found every bit of this film
fascinating, even if some of it takes a while to understand.
COOLEST MOVIE WITH SOMEWHAT FAMOUS PEOPLE IN IT THAT YOU STILL
DIDN’T (YET/PROBABLY) SEE BUT YOU
SHOULD HAVE– “The Banshees
of Inisherin”
If there are two people that I have always thought had great
chemistry it was Brendon Gleeson and Colin Ferrell. “In Bruges” was the
first movie they were together in, and I found that so enjoyable I gave it to
some friends as Christmas gifts.
This film is a bit darker, but equally enjoyable due to the way these two
actors seem to have a great time interacting with each other.
Now I must warn you, this movie is not “In Bruges.” It is in fact, considerably darker and more
twisted, but equally entertaining.
DOCUMENTARY OF THE YEAR – “The Tinder Swindler.” -
Netflix
There are SO many documentaries, on pretty much anything, on
SO many streaming services, that you are not gonna watch every one of them. I
know I can’t, so I can only choose from those which I did watch.
This particular movie was fascinating, and no, I have no
sympathy for either side. For the women who were conned by this guy, let’s be
honest, if the dude drove a bus, you wouldn’t have given him the time of day to
even let him smell your used panties. You paid attention to him because he was
rich, not because he was a person of substance. That is on you, not him. Do I
believe that all of the women in this film were gold-diggers? Of course not,
but maybe value something more than money or appearances and you will make
better choices in the future. In the long run, girls who marry old men for
money are never truly happy, and convincing themselves that they are can be
very exhausting emotionally.
As for Mr. Shimon Hayut,
he did indeed prey on some women’s love for money and status, and he certainly
cannot be blamed for what some women are attracted to, but he did break the
law, and he deserved A LOT more prison time. In the end, there are no real
victims or martyrs here, just a bunch of self-entitled brats that got what they
deserved. Still an incredibly gripping watch however.
ALBUM OF THE YEAR – “I Don’t Live Here Anymore (Deluxe
Edition)” – The War On Drugs
I know it was a tie last year because truthfully I just
really loved both those albums. I have to say that this year was equally
difficult to choose, which I must admit was refreshing given the rants I go on
about how shitty music is today. I love having to admit that there are some
pretty good bands making some pretty good music lately, you just don’t hear
them unless you listen to college radio.
The first incarnation of this record was pretty good, but
the deluxe version added some songs that I couldn’t believe didn’t make the
first cut. Look, unless you are a truly great established band, don’t make a
double album. You are not The Rolling
Stones (Exile on Main Street) The Beatles (The Beatles) or Led Zeppelin (Physical Graffiti) no
one gives a shit about your overblown sense of self-importance (Looking at YOU Beach House, although Once Twice Melody was a pretty good
album in some places). But there are some instances where what is on the cutting
room floor isn’t so bad.
COOLEST SONG BY A MAJOR ACT THAT WASN’T A BIG HIT – “Here To Forever” – Death Cab For
Cutie
God how I have always hated that fucking name. But this is a
nice song.
COOLEST SONG OF THE YEAR – “I Like You (A Happier Song)”
Post Malone, Doja Cat
Don’t let the name fool you, this is definitely NSFW. I
cannot say I am a major fan of either of these two, but this song is catchy. You
know, I think mainstream radio would have responded even more with a decent
clean version of this song. I do not know why acts today insist on making
people censor them. It’s not necessarily novel anymore, so why still do it?
COOLEST SONG OF THE YEAR BY A BAND YOU’VE NEVER HEARD OF
– “the angel of 8th avenue” – Gang of
Youths
Look, the lack of capital letters in the title is not my
doing, that’s how the song is listed. So hipster bullshit attempt to be cool
aside, this song is really cool. It is one of those New York City rock songs, from a band, oddly enough, that isn’t
even from New York.
COOLEST ACT OF THE YEAR – Soccer Mommy
You thought it was gonna be Japanese Breakfast, didn’t you? Yeah I liked that album too, it was
great, but nah…gonna go with Soccer Mommy because I’m not a bandwagon jumper
and these guys were cool. A great album is one that you can listen to without
skipping a song. “Sometimes, Forever”
did that for me this year. Is it the next “In
Utero?” No, but what the fuck is?
SPORTS TEAM OF THE YEAR
– The National Football Team of
Argentina
If you know me, you know the Soccer team I root for, and
have rooted for since I was a child, and that is the national team of Argentina. I guess it started growing
up in a neighborhood full of Latinos and the only team making any sort of
international dent was Argentina.
For Lionel Messi,
arguably the nation’s greatest player, it was sweet vindication as he had
obtained every conceivable award as a player, but until now, a World Cup Championship had long eluded
him. Then there is Andres Cantor, World
Cup announcer who was born in Buenos
Aires, whose sheer joy reminded us that we are all human.
But of all this joy, there is still one thing I can’t get
out of my mind: Can you imagine if Diego
Armando Maradona were alive to have seen this happen? The memes, the
stories, the comments would have been phenomenal.
ATHLETE OF THE YEAR – Aaron Judge, New York Yankees MLB
I don’t if he is this year’s greatest athlete, or the
athlete who had the greatest year. But in just 12 short months, this guy went
from having a mildly good season last year where he did have some injuries, to
this year, which was one for the ages.
Let’s go the field first shall we? Judge’s quest to break
the American League single season
homerun held by Yankee legend Roger
Maris since 1961 was a wonder to behold. I was at the game where he hit his
60th in a comeback win and I had never seen the new stadium break
out into such ear-splitting cheers in my life. I will at least not at this
time, participate in the argument that Judge is the legitimate single season
homerun record holder due to the accusations leveled on the actual leader of
steroid use. I will just say that living in New York City has great stories every year, and this was one of
them.
It was the 62 homeruns, combining with a .311 batting
average and a league leading 135 RBIs that had Judge flirting with the triple
crown all year, and ultimately lead him to becoming the 14th Yankee
to win the American League MVP. He
also led all of MLB in not just homers and RBI, but in runs scored, total
bases, and slugging. A year like that and it is easy to see why he is the first
Yankee to do it since Alex Rodriguez
in 2007.
So how tense do you think those winter meetings were, huh? I
have to admit I really was totally convinced that Judge would always re-sign
with the Yankees until I heard the other teams offers. But the ownership not
only gave him 9 years at $360 million, which in baseball terms is actually a
fair deal, but they also named him captain of the team, the first since Derek Jeter. Quite the ride.
OVERRATED ATHLETE OF THE YEAR– Christiano Ronaldo - Soccer (Football)
You know, it has always been easy to hate on this guy, and I
always thought that it was a bit undeserved.
It’s not his fault that he is both talented at his
profession while being incredibly good looking. I mean, I can certainly relate…
This year however, was a considerable cliff for this guy.
His former club team, the legendary Manchester
United, didn’t play him much at the end of the season. To add insult to
injury, he was also benched playing for Portugal
in the World Cup. Once again,
not totally his doing. But what bothered me about this guy is where he signed
to play this year.
After such a forgettable year by one of soccer’s greatest
players, you’d think his next contract would give him a reported $75 million a
year, but guess what? It did. Saudi
Arabian club Al-Nassr decided to
give him that even after watching the controversial manner in which he left
Manchester United. Guess when you have a name that big, it doesn’t matter how
well you played the year before. Given the level of competition in the desert,
I think he may well get some numbers, but this is a show biz move, not an on
the field move.
Can I also mention that last year’s winner of this award is
actually thriving coming off the bench for The
Los Angeles Lakers?
BELOVED ATHLETE WHO REALLY SHOULD RETIRE – Tom Brady,
Quarterback, Tampa Bay Buccaneers, NFL.
Think I’m gonna go with Tom
Brady, even though I wouldn’t call him “beloved.” Look, the fact that this
guy has been not only playing, but thriving as an NFL quarterback well after age 40, makes him one of the greatest
ever, not to mention that he has a multi-million dollar TV contract waiting for
him after he hangs it up, so why keep doing this?
Look at what it has cost him. Yes his team is in 1st
place in their division, but they are also below .500 and struggling against
good teams. He is losing his cool at his teammates very publically and that has
never been his style. Not to mention the toll his decision to come out of
retirement has taken on his personal life. Something that also, until now, had
been quite private.
Look, I may never have been a fan, but he has given enough
to this game, time to enjoy the rest of your life.
BIGOTED ASSHOLE(S) OF THE YEAR – Well, it Ain’t Just One, and They are NOT
From Jackson Heights
You know what is odd? As I was writing this, I couldn’t come
up with just one person that has personified bigotry this year. What I kept
thinking about was how bigotry as a whole is just dramatically on the rise in
the United States and the question that keeps popping up is when did we all
become such pussies? Why and when exactly did we become so afraid of people?
Seriously I thought that as a whole, this country had
progressed to a point where attacks against immigrants and the LGBTQ community would not be this bad,
but they are. And this is an example I may hate to use, but I have to be
objective.
One of the most diverse communities in the world is a place
I have been more than happy to call my home since I was a child. I was here when
it was not so great, and I had to walk over passed out heroin addicts in the
subway, and I am here now, having survived gentrification but watching my
neighborhood improve to the level of a place where me and my friends always
promised each other that we would move our parents to one day.
In Jackson Heights we have always been tolerant. Even when
the neighborhood was at its roughest, we were never bigots. Which is why I can
say with certainty that NONE of the cowards who called themselves “Protestors,”
harassing members of the LGBTQ community who just wanted to read to kids, were
recognized by a lifelong resident of this neighborhood. I still cannot believe that
bigots were protesting in front of my library, against a group of people that
had done nothing to them. I can assure you that those few assholes do not
represent who we are as a community. Oh, and next time, if you wanna give a Nazi salute in my neighborhood, do it without the mask so we can recognize you. Let’s
see how far you get then.
DEAD PERSON OF THE YEAR – Her Royal Majesty Queen Elizabeth
II
We lost some greats this year, as we do every year, Jerry Lee Lewis, Barbara Walters, Mikhail Gorbachev, Vin
Scully, Bill Russell, Pele (an all-time great human, not just athlete) and Pope Benedict XVI (maybe not great, but
certainly significant).
But I think I am gonna go with Her Royal Majesty Queen Elizabeth II. Look, I’m not gonna get into
a debate about the British Royal family, or monarchies in general, but what you
cannot deny is how incredibly significant this woman’s life was. She managed
the slow decline of the British Empire with a rare dignity. She kept up a fierce
schedule well into her 90’s and did her absolute best to represent her country
in the best way possible. That is not deniable. She handled controversy with
distance and clarity, rarely showing emotion, and this was not always admired
by all. Keep calm and carry on was written for her.
Here’s hoping the New Year brings you everything you want!
.jfif)
.jfif)
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